swinging lifestyle

"A" Game, Opacity, Bat Shit Crazy

Something that came up during our conversation at our Valentine’s dinner after i got off the train was the amount of, or lack thereof, of separate play over the last couple of months. As fate would have it, a few days before coming up, i had three men, who i’ve played with before, contact me to get together and had made arrangements to meet after i returned from our VD weekend. i told Maximus about each one of these as they came in, so it was no surprise to Him, and He was very excited for me. It’d been at least a month since i’d had any separate play, due to illness.

This sudden in-rush of playmates started me thinking about Maximus’ play and how it has dropped off. Not only has He not been playing, i’d noticed that He’d not even been online to any of His/our swinger sites. i was concerned that my previous jealousy issue, which had been due to a misunderstanding and later dealt with, had carried over and was making Him fearful of playing separately. And it wasn’t that He’d not gotten offers, Big E had contacted Him several times to entertain little e and Maximus had declined. This was not like Maximus at all.

Maximus shared that at first, He was a little gun shy about playing separately due to the episodes surrounding Ms. W, however, that wasn’t keeping Him from separate play. He’d gotten extremely focused on work and it has been so gratifying that He’s immersed Himself in that. As for declining play with little e…He wanted to wait until i could play with Him with her and Big E. This surprised me. “It’s just so much better with you, and I want to wait to share that with you,” He said. “And I don’t feel wanting by not playing, I’m happy, I’m satisfied.”

During our last night, laying in bed, this came up again as i had received a surprise rendezvous request from a woman friend who i didn’t know was kinky (more on this in an upcoming blog post). We were discussing my incredible upcoming week of play, the amendment of the no sleeping-over rule, and the conversation naturally returned to His play. As we were talking, Maximus talked about His options, WorkoutK, LeLe, Sunflower and Mountain Man, the local swingers club, and Ms. W. He spoke about how sex with others was B Game and that, comparatively, sex with Ms. W was pedestrian. This made me wonder and i asked, “So has our journey into BDSM and ramping up our intensity changed what was once A Game sex into B Game sex?”

“That’s really interesting. I hadn’t thought about that, I’ll have to think about it,” He replied.

The next morning, while waiting for the ferry, Maximus shared that, yes, our level of intensity of play has changed what A Game sex is for Him and that it has so satisfied Him that playing separately just doesn’t hold the same attraction. “I’d rather wait for A Game sex than have B Game sex,” He explained. “I’m just so happy and I don’t feel wanting.” He continued on that looking for new playmates on the swinger sites has lost much of its appeal in that He just didn’t want to invest the time and money required to woo new dates, the meetups, dinners, trying to get together, etc., for vanilla-ish, B Game sex. What He does love, however, is having me hunt, sharing that with Him, the thrill of my stories in all their detail, my excitement in finding new playmates for us.

What a switch this is. i’m not alarmed by it anymore, like i was, because i understand what He’s saying and i trust that. It’s beyond flattering and completely unexpected. Quite a big change for the quintessential ladies-man, swinger Maximus.

During our conversation about money, Maximus received a text message. As His mother had gone ill and His brother had been texting updates on her condition, i inquired if it was an update about His mom. He said, “No, it was someone else.” This was odd, as normally Maximus is very forthcoming about His texts, and usually tells me who it was and what they said. In addition, His face and body language changed when He said it. i thought, “Oh, it must be Ms. W. and He’s uncomfortable to tell me now when she texts Him.” i decided it wasn’t important to discuss now and i’d find another time to talk about it as i didn’t want this level of awkwardness to continue, should it have been a text from her.

i brought it up during our conversation while driving home. We were reviewing our weeks again and i inquired if He was going to get together with Ms. W. for her birthday. He said He’d not heard any plans for that. i asked if she had texted Him yesterday, and He replied sheepishly, “Yes, she did, but I didn’t respond.”

i replied, “You know, it’s ok to talk about her, You don’t have to hide that she texts. i understand now what the relationship is/was. My jealousy was based upon a misconception. Give me an opportunity to show you that.” i continued that i could tell that it was a text from her due to how differently He had responded to my inquiry. “Really?” He asked.

He talked about being completely transparent. And i replied, “You know, that’s not transparent, that’s opaque.” He pondered for a moment, and replied, “You’re right, that is opaque. I thought I was being transparent and it was opaque. I get that. I won’t be opaque.” 

We’re finding our level. i know He’s guarded about the subject of Ms. W because He’s cautious about hurting me, about talking about her so much to show transparency that it makes me misunderstand and feel jealous. i want to have an opportunity to show Him i’m not jealous and that i understand. Opacity makes it hard to do that, as i don’t get a clear picture of what’s going on.

Early Valentine’s Day card from Maximus

The last topic had to do with the phrase, Bat Shit Crazy and came up as we were just starting to talk about Porch Time. 

Maximus has referred to my couple of emotional blowups as going Bat Shit Crazy and i know He doesn’t mean it in a derogatory way, in fact, He has made sure to point out that it is done to make light of it, but my heart sinks every time He says it. i get embarrassed. So when we started talking about porch time, he mentioned Bat Shit Crazy and again reminded me that it wasn’t derogatory–i decided i needed to be honest with Him about my emotional response to that phrase and what is makes me flash to.

My last husband talked very derogatorily about His exes, wife and girlfriends. He described the progression of their relationships as normal until they suddenly went nuts, crazy, out of control for no reason. i was always extremely sensitive to this, trying not to ever go down a path that would lead him to call me crazy. And i believed him when he said he’d done nothing to potentiate this in those relationships. However, as our relationship went on, i came to understand there WAS something very wrong with his interpersonal relationships with women, that he was emotionally abusive, a verbal hostage taker, and i began to suffer from severe anxiety and anger in response. i even had an emotional explosion after a party at our home from something demeaning he’d said and ended up losing control and requested my mom take me to the emergency room to get me calmed down. This had NEVER happened before. i sought counseling and went alone as he refused to go with me. I let him convince me i had an anger problem and had my physician put me on an antidepressant and antianxiety medications in response.

It finally became apparent to me that i had a marriage problem, not an anger problem, and freed myself from that abusive relationship. i stopped my medications immediately, despite my physician advising i stay on them to “deal with” the emotions of getting divorced. i wanted to see if my theory was true, and had no problems “dealing with” my divorce process, in fact, i never felt better in my life. i had a marriage problem that led to my anger problem.

Now, in my effort to be completely honest and transparent with Maximus and share everything, i held this back from Him. i was horribly embarrassed about this, my hospital visit, losing control in angry outbursts, counseling, and being medicated. i thought it would diminish me and that He’d not want to be with someone with this history. And then i had the emotional outburst about Ms. W and worried it was a trend in relationships. i couldn’t let Maximus think i had a problem. i wanted to see if i could handle this so He’d never find out.

When Maximus had mediation for His divorce from JB, He described that she had gone Bat Shit Crazy toward the mediator during the process. He came home and detailed the day and included that His attorney had counseled Him on future relationships. “Don’t go out and get another Bat Shit Crazy woman and make sure she makes more than $100,000 a year,” she said. “Oh my god,” i reeled inside when he presented that, “thank god i at least make the cut on income. He can never find out about my response during marriage #2.” i honestly felt He was telling me that to find out if i met the qualifications to be in a relationship with Him. i assured Him that i was not Bat Shit Crazy and thank god i met the income requirement.

But Bat Shit Crazy made me flash back to that every time, made me feel physically ill. i was so embarrassed about the emotional blowups i’d had with Him and wanted to be so far past those, mortified that i’d been medicated during my second marriage, and absolutely fearful that He would leave me should He ever find out this past and that i’d not been forthright to Him about it.

i divulged it all in the car. And you know, He was shocked. Of course He was shocked. Shocked at my past, shocked that i’d allowed myself to be medicated, shocked that i’d not felt comfortable to share this, and utterly horrified that i thought His sharing of what the attorney had said was His truth, His requirements. He meant it as a funny conclusion of that horrible day, not a personal prerequisite for our relationship.

We’ve agreed to not use Bat Shit Crazy. And i’m thankful for that. We appreciate the conflict we’ve had and i’ve proven that these were isolated incidents that occurred from being absolutely frustrated to the point of explosion. This is not our normal means of communication, we’ve shown that. We’ve learned to communicate effectively, and have avenues for discussions. While we don’t plan on Taking it to the Locker Room, we know that it is a last resort when all means of communication fails, and it doesn’t mean either of us is crazy, we are just at our wits end.

i do feel better that Maximus knows my whole truth. And, it gave Him an opportunity to show me that we are together GOT. He didn’t run.

Categories: anger, bat shit crazy, BDSM, BDSM relationship, D/s, honesty, swinging lifestyle, togetherness | Leave a comment

i’m Not Her…

The day after our wonderful dinner, presents, and play, Maximus and i headed to the San Juan Islands to continue our belated Valentine’s Day weekend. The San Juans are a group of islands between Washington State and Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. They are absolutely beautiful and neither of us had been there for years and years.

To get to the San Juans from Seattle, you take a ferry out of Anacortes, Washington, about an hour and a half north. We took back roads and stopped in little towns along the way to shop and eat. While Maximus was driving, i offered to read aloud from Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships, by Dan and dawn Williams of the Erotic Awakenings Podcast. We both love Dan and dawn’s podcasts and enjoy discussing things we hear from them–they bring up a lot of great topics for us to discuss, many of which we haven’t thought of. The book was no different and we had many revelations!

Here are some things we discussed and learned:

  • While our initial intention was to just do D/s in the bedroom, it has grown to encompass our entire relationship. Originally, we were under the impression that D/s had to be very strict and required the sub to be very constricted, chained and without freedom. But what we’ve come to understand is that there are any levels of D/s and each relationship seeks its own level. i prefer to be submissive to Maximus, it pleases me to serve Him and give myself to His pleasure and needs, and to follow His leadership. It is important to Maximus that i have free will, but He enjoys being Dominant in the relationship, being the final decision-maker, receiving the gifts of my submission, and being responsible for my well-being. i need someone i can surrender to, someone strong enough to handle that. Mutual respect is huge in our relationship. 

Our Total Power Exchange relationship is not anyone else’s Total Power Exchange relationship, and that is exactly how it should be. This does not make our D/s relationship any less or more than anyone else’s–it’s ours and that’s what matters.

  • Living D/s allows us to be completely authentic. Both of us have had two failed marriages each, that’s four failed relationships. And what’s very interesting is that our pathway through our marriage histories are very similar. For both of us, we were not our authentic selves in our first marriages, we had outside relationships looking to fill voids we felt in our marriages, for a variety of reasons. Interestingly, our first marriages were the longest. In our second marriages, we thought we were being authentic and thought our spouses were being authentic as well, but we discovered otherwise. 

Maximus and i have shared everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. i have shared with Him things i never, ever wanted anyone else to know about me, especially my relationship partner(s); He has done the same. These communications are often painful and embarrassing, but freeing and has grown our trust with each other. Not only do we still love each other after learning about our truths, we love each other more for it.  

  • We both need love to be a part of our Total Power Exchange relationship. And this love needs to be monogamous. i have never been able to surrender to anyone as i do with Maximus, and this is due to the trust and love we have. While we are swingers and play with many others, together and separately, we separate sex and love, and sex with others is simply that, sex, not love. We have both struggled, and have had serious conflict in our relationship and with past relationships, with the concept of polyamory, to the point where i have become angry jealous over a misconception that Maximus was in love with another woman. Neither of us can do polyamory. 

Maximus’ previous marriage evolved into polyamorous situations, not necessarily intentionally, but not discouraged when it happened. It started out as Maximus encouraging JB to have swinging relationships to spend time with while He traveled so much for business and left her home alone. When she confessed to falling in love with these individuals and expressed desires to investigate that more, Maximus did not discourage this. This occurred multiple times and eventually led to the breakup of their marriage. Maximus did not engage in the same pursuit and these were V-polyamorous relationships in that Maximus and JB were married, JB and the other male had a love-relationship, but Maximus and the other male were not connected. JB had tried to get Maximus to engage one of her love interest’s wives into a poly relationship, but this did not happen.

Maximus thought that JB was being honest with Him about these relationships and didn’t think they risked the demise of their primary relationship as she insisted that wasn’t the case. Because she wasn’t truthful and it blindsided Him, Maximus has developed a fear of me leaving Him, thus the rule in our contract that we only sleep with each other. Through our discussions about our relationship and fears, etc., Maximus has come to realize that i’m not her–and this is a HUGE revelation for us. We discussed it and are amending our contact accordingly to reflect this.

  • We both thrive in an authentic, honest, over-communicated relationship. And we expect this of each other. Dan and dawn describe the chess game in their previous relationships, how interactions/decisions were win-lose; actions and communications were made by consciously deciding what you were willing to give up in order to get your way with something else. We both could so relate to this and absolutely abhor the chess game we’ve had to endure in our past relationships. We don’t ever have to strategize. When we discuss something, we don’t have to wonder if there is an ulterior motive and can trust that their answer is honest.
  • While we do trust each other completely, thrive in an environment of complete and total communication, we have had some complete breakdowns in communication, full of conflict, hurt, and disrespect. 

Now, if you’re familiar with group dynamic theory, you are familiar with the concepts of Forming-Storming-Norming-Performing. Forming is just selecting the group and in our case, is finding each other and transforming into a committed relationship. Storming is that necessary time in developing a group, any sized group, where they work out group function, mores, communication styles, discover their differences, and where different ideas compete for consideration. It can be contentious and full of conflict, and for the group to succeed, they must struggle through it. In the Norming stage, the group, through storming, has developed their goals and plans and know how all individuals work together. Finally, in Performing, the group functions smoothly, has developed decision-making processes, and deals with conflict without dissent. The group can revert back to previous stages by external influences and have to go through the process as they react to changing circumstances.

i can see this cycle in our relationship. While conflict is painful, it is so necessary. i know that Maximus would prefer not to have the conflict that occurs in the Storming phase. We have talked a lot about this and how to communicate to avoid this conflict. But, we have learned so much and grown so much from these conflicts that they really were necessary evils. i believe Maximus’ fear is that this will be the norm for how we deal with conflict–i know that this is part of our development and we are moving, if not already have moved, to the Norming and Performing stages of our relationship.

Dan and dawn discuss Porch Time in their book and on their podcasts. Porch Time can be called by any partner to move out onto the porch and have a neutral space to express themselves without the hierarchy constraints of D/s or be punished for what or how things are expressed. This is the last resort where all other avenues of congenial communication have broken down. They have used this only a few times in their long relationship.

Maximus asked me to listen to their podcast about Porch Time and we discussed it several weeks ago and then discussed it again when i read this chapter. What was fascinating was that Maximus felt that Porch Time was a place where you took notice that the other person had something very critical to talk about and would do it in a constructive manner with, “i feel..”, or “i would like…”, etc, not the intention of Porch Time where you had a highly heated, no-holds-barred, verbal fight that could include all those horrible disrespectful things like name-calling. It’s the “I/i can’t take it anymore” explosion. Neither of us want Porch Time to be our main means of communication, and it shouldn’t be! Dan and dawn weren’t presenting it as such. What’s important is that in the few times that communication fails completely and You/you are at Your/your wits end, you have a place without judgment or repercussions to speak freely and fully honestly, in whatever ugly face that has. The goal is to not have to ever have to use the porch and to use effective communication to resolve conflict, but the porch is there.

When i realized that Maximus and i weren’t understanding the Porch Time concept in the same way, i decided to use a sports analogy. Picture a basketball game where your normally even-keeled, level-headed player is having a bad game, acting out, getting personal fouls, behaving unsportsmanlike and really destroying everyone’s game. What does the coach do? They pull them out of the game, or maybe they got thrown out of the game by a third-party referee. Does the coach confront them right there on the sidelines, no, what do they say? “Take it to the Locker Room!” and they have it out there. It’s not pretty, it’s bare and raw and emotional. It gets it all out. Is this how you normally deal with your basketball player? Heavens No! Do you ever even WANT to go through this? No! This is how you flush out this bad behavior, blow out the steam. Normally you coach and build relationships. This is the last resort and the intention is to be perfectly blunt about this player’s destructive behavior, hope it gets it all out and resolved so they go back to being the high-performing, well-behaved team player next game. Maximus totally got this and was very relieved to understand that this method of communication was a last resort, not the normal means of communicating. So for us, we have Take it to the Locker Room, instead of Porch Time, and we hope to never have to use it, but we know it’s there should it be necessary.

  • We love the sexual aspect of our D/s relationship. i love being the slut Maximus desires and will do anything to please Him in this way. We both love searching for my limits. Is sex our relationship? NO! Maximus is 21 years older than i am and He honestly expressed His feelings about what happens when He’s 70, 80, 90 and how we deal with the sexual aspect of our relationship.

We both love being at swingers events and hearing our partner having sex with another person. We know the sounds, giggle at the reactions the other person has at what our partner loves to do. We come and watch, we participate. He loves nothing more than to direct me to do things with others. This direction is often more sexual for Maximus than actually having sexual intercourse. In fact, us alone together, with the BDSM components of our sexual play from the scenes He creates, can be more sexually satisfying than intercourse for Maximus. Direction even includes Him directing scenes involving others, setting up scenes at a distance for me to comply with. Beyond this, Maximus loves hearing me tell Him the details of my sexual encounters with others, in descriptive detail, and even watching via Skype or Facetime.

  • Discipline is one aspects of our D/s relationship that may differ from many other D/s relationships. And i don’t mean that we lack discipline, but that physical discipline is not a major component of our relationship. i am very sensitive to disappointing anyone, especially Maximus, so it is difficult for Maximus to add insult to injury by disciplining me harshly. My training is accomplished though meeting His expectations, achieving goals, and being coached to accomplish them or learn from missing the mark. i enjoy being physically spanked, flogged, cropped, so these traditionally physical punishments are not effective for me. This difference in our relationship made us feel that perhaps we were not following the rules of D/s, but we understand better now that this is just our way.

This is as far as we got through the book. We will definitely continue this process when we are together as it is fascinating and so helpful. We did have some awesome further revelations this weekend that were not related to the readings from Living M/s and will be the topic of my next blog post.

While the revelation that i am not JB is not the theme of this post, Maximus felt it was so huge that He asked that i use this as the title when i blogged about it. i find it fascinating that something that most people fear, kinky, power exchange, BDSM relationships, can be so revealing and freeing. For us, D/s helps us confront and deal with our fears, the same fears that are often present in vanilla relationships, such as abandonment, and does this so much more effectively, for us, than in traditional relationships.

Categories: BDSM, BDSM podcasts, BDSM relationship, communication, D/s, Dan and dawn, discipine, Dom/sub, Erotic Awakening, Living M/s, relationship, relationship needs, swinging lifestyle, Total Power Exchange | Leave a comment

Hot Under the Collar

So sorry about the big break there…have been dealing with a family illness since Maximus’ arrival just before New Years Eve. In fact, i got notification 10 minutes before He arrived, switched our plans to head to family out of town, then was told to wait. So i’ve been kinda thrown.

Maximus and i had a wonderful late Christmas and New Years together. That anticipation just about killed me! i had made Him a quilt and i could hardly wait to give it to Him. i’ve called this pattern Multiple Os!

 And made a custom quilt label for the back of the quilt:

i’d also had a boudoir photo session with a photographer friend, so had some very special pictures for Maximus and made a photo book for Him through Blurb. It turned out spectacularly! i might have to order one for myself! A few of my favorite pics…

i received a very fun stocking full of toys for Him to use with me, including an amazing metal bead flogger–wow does that have some weight behind it!

And an anal hook!!! i’ve soooo wanted one of these! If you look carefully, in the picture below, you can see the red outline on my left ass cheek from the beaded metal flogger. The hook is tied to my hair, pulling my head back.

It also is amazing in my pussy!

There were some wonderful screw-down nipple clamps and, a collar! Unfortunately i don’t have a picture of it–yet. i will have one soon (Maximus took all the BDSM toys home with Him, including my collar. i’ll explain why in a bit). The title picture at the top of this blog is the only picture i have. It is just beautiful, heavy black leather, lined with red satin, matching the wonderful wrist and ankle cuffs Maximus already gave me.

New Years Eve, before we got ready to head to our friends for their swinging NYE party, Maximus ceremoniously collared me as i knelt before Him. He professed His love and commitment to me, what the collar meant, and lovingly secured the collar around my neck. i was so overwhelmed with the emotion of it that i cannot remember exactly what He told me in order to write it down. i’m just shocked at that! i’m sure there will be punishment involved for my lack of recall in such a momentous event.
Maximus and i ended up playing together for 16 hours straight…with some sleep in between. We never do that before play parties, in fact, Maximus generally will not even allow Himself to come during the day of a party, conserving Himself. It was like we were in heat–we could not keep ourselves off of each other!
Dress for the party was formal. Maximus wore His tux and looked absolutely magnificent. i wore the amazing little black dress i got for our Vegas trip this last fall because it went perfectly with some amazing shoes i got especially for Maximus for this night.

We had a wonderful night! i was absolutely worn out, sexually, however! Boy did Maximus get a kick out of that! We are both known as Energizer Bunnies amongst this group and everyone is always trying to wear us out. He just loved that HE was the one who wore me out!

The next morning, Maximus and i discovered some chainmail in a ziplock bag in the play loft. When we inquired about it, we learned it was a chainmail dress! Well…we immediately ran back up to the loft to grab it so He could dress me in it–you’ve never seen two people run so fast in your life! Maximus stripped me upstairs and led me back downstairs to the awaiting group, naked, and dressed me in the chainmail dress and put my lipstick heel shoes on me in front of them. WOW! It is amazing…and COLD and heavy!

And then we all had some fun! i was put over the lap of J Extreme and he and Maximus took turns spanking me on his lap.

Beautiful HAND-iwork!

Maximus returned home late that afternoon. Because the next time we are together i’ll be flying up to see Him, Maximus took all of our toys with Him, including my new collar. i was just not sure how easy it would be to take all that through TSA and i certainly didn’t want to lose anything, either by checking the bag full or by having agents remove things from my carry-on.

It was a great few days together. We are both looking to being together again, which, will now be in just a few days of this writing, but really two weeks from our Christmas/New Years holiday together. We’re both needing to recharge our batteries and are looking forward to some quality time together to get our energy back. And for the first time in my life, i have someone who recharges my batteries, not an energy drainer.

Categories: anal hook, BDSM, chainmail dress, collaring, Pleaser lipstick heel shoes, spanking, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

Who’s Your Daddy?

Last night a Facebook page i follow, Limits and Temptations, posted this topic for discussion:

Topic for discussion: Jealousy. How do you, as a sub/slave/bottom deal with your Owner/Master/Dom/Daddy/Sir having others serve them?

And i realized i should have addressed this in my last posting (Sex with Friends) about my weekend with Mountain Man and Sunflower.

Maximus and i come to BDSM by way of the swinging lifestyle. We met each other at a house party years ago, both attached to other people (not BDSM attached, married). So, we have a lot of experience with sharing ourselves and being comfortable with our partners being with others, both in our presence and outside of that. The swinging lifestyle is something that we enjoy, fits our personalities and needs, and is not something either of us are willing to give up. Separately, we have come to realize we are not monogamous people, although we are extremely LOYAL people. Sex and love are two different things for us, something we can separate. We have sex with many others, and while we may have deep connections with some of our lifestyle friends, we LOVE only each other.

We discussed in great detail how swinging lifestyle would fit into our Dom/sub relationship when we worked on our contract. Our contract allows for Maximus or i to “enter into any sexual relations with anyone other than each other….in or outside the presence of either party, at any location, at any time.” We live separately, three hours apart, thus our time together is limited; we both understand and respect that we are sexual beings and desire sexual relations more frequently than our time together allows. Maximus may not “loan” me to any other Dominant, however; He may “direct” me to “serve another Dominant” within the limits of my BDSM allowable activities list, but i am not to be loaned as even temporary property to another. Maximus is my Master and i am solely His property and cannot be owned by any other Dominant. Additionally, per our contract, i will be Maximus’ only sub and He cannot take ownership of any other subs. Should it please Him to have me serve another Dominant, i will obey. It pleases Him that i play with others and share my stories with Him–and i enjoy hearing about His experiences as well.

We are both free to continue our swinging activities together and separately with existing and new partners, but we are required to notify each other of requests and scheduled rendezvous promptly. We both understand that some events are spontaneous and our contract requires us to notify the other as soon as possible after a spontaneous, unplanned encounter. It is understood that some activities on our BDSM activities list may occur with others during these times, such as spanking or flogging or bondage, but they are activities, and do not represent the development of a new Dom/sub relationship. Acquisition of a new sub or Dom, or declaring love for another represents a catastrophic breech of our contract and betrayal of our commitment to each other.

We do have one very specific rule in regards to swinging. We both find sleeping with someone, as in actually sleeping, not the euphemism for the act of having sex, to be extremely intimate and special. Except in very special situations that are communicated and mutually agreed upon, we are not to sleep with anyone other than each other. When we are together, we will always sleep together. This includes situations where we may be playing in separate areas at a party or at our homes and may dose off in afterglow–we will always get up and find each other in order to sleep in each others arms for the remainder of the event. We may agree to return to play with others after that, but it is unacceptable for either of us to spend the entire event apart without spending intimate time connecting with each other and affirming our commitment. My sleeping with Mountain Man and Sunflower was discussed and mutually agreed upon prior to the event and approved because i would be sleeping with them together, not alone with Mountain Man, which would have been a breech. Therefore, when Sunflower left my bed, it was no longer acceptable for me to be sleeping with Mountain Man (for several reasons, which i discussed in my earlier post).

The great thing about incorporating swinging into our BDSM relationship is that it gives us the ability to learn from more experienced others since we are new to BDSM. We have recently met another couple, who lives near Maximus, who have been in BDSM for years. This couple has expressed interest in Maximus playing separately with them and with her alone, and we are both very excited for Him to have the potential to learn from this arrangement. Maximus and i talked a lot before Mountain Man and Sunflower came to stay this past weekend, knowing that they were venturing into BDSM and Mountain Man had expressed interest in my BDSM activities list. My instructions from Maximus was to learn, accept training from Mountain Man, and that it would please Him for me to serve Mountain Man in whatever way he desired–i was not being loaned to Mountain Man, i was being asked to serve him in a BDSM role and obey his requests. i was serving Maximus in this situation and this is the distinct difference in being with Maximus and any other Dominant. Mountain Man was being dominant, but was not my Dominant–he’s Sunflower’s Dominant.

So my reply to Limits and Temptations would be, no, there is no jealousy for Maximus, my Dominant, to be served by another submissive, as long as it is done within the agreements in our contract. There are times that i have questioned the nature of His relationship with another, for clarification, such as the case of Ms. W, because i assumed He was in love with her, but He has assured me that He is not. If He were to fall in love with someone else, wildcat jealousy would not even begin to describe my response, and rightly so. i would expect the same from Him.

Categories: BDSM, D/s, Dom/sub, Dominant, jealousy, playing separate, playing together, sex vs. love, submissive, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

Sex with Friends

Beautiful heart-shaped leaf from our walk along the river

Who needs Words with Friends when you can have Sex with Friends!!

What a wonderful weekend! Mountain Man and Sunflower came to visit. i met Mountain Man and Sunflower through Maximus very early on in our friendship and felt an immediate connection with them. i have played with them with and without Maximus and even with others without Maximus, and it is the same for Him, with and without me and with others with them. Our connection with this couple is beyond sexual, it is a genuine, wonderful friendship that i (we) cherish very much.

They are also moving into BDSM and he has rope/knot tying experience that we are hoping to learn. Mountain Man has some experience as a sub and identifies himself as a switch. They haven’t written a contract yet but have plans to.

When they arrived Saturday, Sunflower exclaimed, “We just learned of this amazing new couple on [website name omitted]!” referring to an online lifestyle site that Maximus and i are on together as a couple, “and I can’t wait to learn more about this!” Maximus and i had been on that site as singles for years and began a couple’s profile in September after talking about taking our relationship to the next level (not BDSM, but a more committed relationship). i hadn’t advertised it to a lot of our lifestyle friends, although some found us. i’m not sure why i didn’t advertise it….i think i just didn’t want to thrust it in peoples’ faces and there were friends that i worried might feel hurt that He and i were making this step together rather than He or i and them. We weren’t a paid member of that site until last weekend, so i couldn’t post testimonials/certifications until then, and Maximus asked me to do that for our friends after we upgraded. Sunflower and Mountain Man were extremely excited that we were an official couple (as proved to them by our “new” couples profile).

We headed out for a walk along a beautiful lake not far from my home. The weather was perfect, a partly cloudy, crisp Pacific Northwest winter day. Sunflower immediately asked for me to talk to them about our couple status. So we walked together and talked about us, not into specific details, necessarily, as they don’t need to know everything, but a general overview and how we got here. Mountain Man is very interested in our contract, in fact, he had been pressing for Appendix 2 (my BDSM activities list) several weeks ago when he first learned we had done this, but i don’t think it’s necessary for him to have this. i’ve posted the contract and rules here (see Our Contract and Rules post), but its done so in anonymity–its too personal to share with someone who knows us. They did want to know how Ms. W fit into this equation, and i explained that she is a very dear friend of Maximus’, that our two relationships were at different levels, and they would continue to play together. They have known Ms. W for quite some time and have spent time with Maximus and her together. i did share a bit how i struggled with understanding the differences in our relationships at first, how it had been essential for me to understand that to proceed. i also shared how important it was for me to learn how to trust again, after my last failed relationship left me with a fear of dishonesty. We also talked about how it was unfortunate for us learn that our [Ms. W and mine] personalities don’t mesh, which appears to make her feel uncomfortable, thus preventing us to be all together. Sunflower said something that was very insightful, that she felt that Ms. W’s past probably contributed to her discomfort…something that i had not considered. What i didn’t know, was that Mountain Man had a similar relationship, perhaps even more than what Maximus has with Ms. W (he still loves this other woman and their relationship together didn’t proceed because she was (is) married and lives across the country). It was extremely helpful for me to hear them talk about this relationship, how it affected their relationship, and how they are both at peace with it.

Foxy Chef

We returned home and worked on dinner. Maximus had been a little disappointed that i wasn’t wearing my tail when they arrived (i knew we were going to be going for a walk, so i was dressed accordingly), so i dressed for cooking…wearing my beautiful foxtail in a short little black dress…later in just an apron. They LOVED my tail, but then REALLY loved it when they realized it was a buttplug, not part of my dress! Mountain Man asked me to play the piano for him, so i flipped my tail back and sat bare ass on the piano bench with my tail hanging behind me off the bench. When we got up…i had left a puddle of pussy juices on the bench, which really excited him!

We had a lot of time to play after dinner went in the oven. We started at the dining table. Sunflower was sitting in a chair and i straddled her, facing her, and we took turns savoring each others breasts. Mountain Man was with us and we turned on him, savoring his wonderful cock. They took turns stroking my tail, which was so lovely! We took pics and shared them with Maximus, enjoying texting Him.

i wore my tail the whole time!

We moved upstairs and placed Sunflower on her back to i could pleasure her. She has the most responsive clit and i love to work on her orally to make her come. Mountain Man watched, carressed us, telling us how wonderful we were, and then received oral from her while i pleasured her. Suddenly, i got this intense desire to fuck her pussy with a dildo, however, i had this picture in my mind of a harness that i’d seen online, a dildo that straps to someone’s chin. i don’t have one of those, but instead i grabbed the double-ended dildo i bought to go in the harness, putting the smaller end in my mouth and fucking her pussy with the large end. IT WAS AMAZING!! Her pussy juices covered my face as thrusted into her, the cock pushing into my throat, all the while i could hear her moans and gasps of pleasure. He moved behind me and fucked my pussy from behind, forcing my face into her pussy with every grind into me. Wow!

After she and i came multiple, multiple times, the two of them flogged and cropped me. It was the first time for Sunflower to use a crop on someone and Mountain Man enjoyed that thoroughly. They used the crop on my thighs and groin, which was amazing. Mountain Man then entered me in missionary position and she continued to crop and flog us. i begged for her to strike my breasts hard with the crop and oh, it was heaven!

My first ropework!

We had to take a brief break to work on some more dinner prep. When we returned, it was decided that Sunflower and i were to dom Mountain Man. We put Mountain Man on his back and Sunflower blindfolded him. She shoved his legs up, placing the bottoms of his feet together, so his cock, balls, and ass were completely exposed. She and i started to flog and crop him, but i noticed that his legs kept coming out of that wonderful position, so i decided to restrain him. i started with the leather cuffs, but that just held his ankles but did not keep the bottoms of his feet together. i began to wrap rope around his feet, but quickly realized it would slip off, so i took the rope over the clip holding the cuffs together and around the wrapping on his feet, and wove the rope around his feet more. i paid close attention to how i placed the rope and it turned out simply beautiful–and very secure. i was extremely pleased with myself! After binding his feet, i took another rope, used a handcuff knot to bind his wrists and then secured that rope to the bed to hold his hands above his head.

Pegging Mountain Man. i look like i have a penis!

We flogged and rubbed and caressed Mountain Man. And took breaks to fondle each other loudly next to him. We sucked him and i spent a lot of time sucking his balls, one and then the other, then working to get both of them in my mouth together. Sunflower got her leather Jaguar harness and put it on me, describing to Mountain Man how beautiful it looked on me. She then inserted a dildo into the harness and instructed me to peg Mountain Man. Sunflower grabbed his feet and pulled them up toward his head, bringing his ass up. We lubed my fingers and i began to play with his ass, lubricating and relaxing him before entering him with the dildo. This brought him such pleasure! i finally entered him and Sunflower flogged and cropped him. i grabbed his cock and stroked him but it was hard for me to keep my balance while i was pegging him. i grabbed his legs and Sunflower alternated between stroking and sucking him and we worked him over. We finally instructed him to come, me fucking him and she stroking him firmly, and he came loudly and intensely, come shooting forcefully all the way up onto the underside of his chin and splashing all over his chest! She immediately stroked and licked and tickled his ultra-sensitive cock, making him buck wildly against the restraints. It was so erotic! We then released him and caressed him in aftercare.

His feet were absolutely beautiful when i took off the rope, something that totally surprised me!

Beautiful indentations on Mountain Man’s foot from the ropework

We had a wonderful dinner in the afterglow, recounting the events, sharing bits and photos with Maximus, and discussing things we learned/what we might adjust next time. Then we returned to bed for dessert! This time, Mountain Man and Sunflower worked me over, trying to push me into subspace. i never reached subspace, but got into an amazing cycle of orgasms, one right after another in rapid succession, seconds apart, each lasting 30 seconds each, until i was absolutely spent! This went on for 30 minutes. During my aftercare, Sunflower played video she had taken of it–simply amazing! We were totally spent and collapsed into sleep, all together in my bed.

Sunflower left early the next morning to spend the day with an old friend. Before she left we were instructed that when she returned that night, we were to tell her the story of how we spent our day. Specifically, we were to sit on our hands, Mountain Man start with the first half of a sentence and i to finish the last half, until we recounted the whole story.

As soon as she left, Mountain Man boosted me up onto the granite island in my kitchen, kissing me, pushing my black satin robe off my shoulders, and began sucking my nipples and caressing me. He told me how pleased he was with me about the night before and instructed me to tell him what would be the one thing he could do to pleasure me to show his appreciation. i told him i wished for him to lick and suck my clit until i had an orgasm. He laid me back onto the exquisitely cold granite and spread my legs. He licked and sucked my clit, played with my pussy until i came–it was wonderful! He pulled me back up into sitting and i kissed him (“Kiss me like a lover,” he commanded), tasting my juices on his face and tongue.

He took me back to my bed and laid me on my stomach and cuffed my wrists. He told me that he wanted to get me into subspace and asked me what i needed for aftercare so he could soothe me afterward. i told him what i needed and then he entered me, which made me come instantly. He pushed me back down on the bed, held me down, instructed me to relax and be calm, stroking my body, keeping his cock inside me. “This is your safe place,” he said. “You may have small orgasms here, but it is your safe place and i want you to relax here.” He held me there until i relaxed, praising me for doing so, and i had small rolling orgasms on him. He then returned to fucking me and i could feel a huge orgasm building. i begged to come and he gave me permission to come once, which i did, then coached me to go back to my safe place again. i asked to come again and he reminded me that i could have small orgasms in my safe place. He repeated this over and over and over–it was like riding the ocean.

At one point while in my safe place he asked me what i was thinking. i had been thinking about being with Maximus, specifically two things. i told Mountain Man that i wanted him to use the crop on my pussy lips (i adored this when Maximus did this to me) and that i wanted him to contact Maximus so He could give him instructions on what to do with me, but that i didn’t want to know what Maximus had directed him to do.

Mountain Man then transitioned to a new sequence, starting from my safe place. He told me that he was going to slowly stroke his cock in and out of me and that i was to count two full strokes, not come during these, but then he would grind forcefully into me and i was to come once and then it would repeat. He did this over and over. He returned me to my safe place and changed the count to three and repeated, and then four. It was delicious, but did not push me into subspace. The left side of my face kept going into involuntary spasms while it was pressed into the bed, something i’ve never experienced before.

He then removed my cuffs, rolled me over and flogged and cropped me all over my body. i was not to move. He increased the intensity and then pulled back and repeated. He fucked me in between, bringing back the 2, 3, or 4 stroke rules at random. This went on and on and i could feel myself getting to an edge. i wanted him to come and didn’t want to make us stop until he did, but i could feel that i was getting closer and closer to my limit. i kept telling myself to hold on, convincing myself not to tell him i was at my limit, but finally i had to tell him. i gasped, “oh i’m at my yellow limit,” (or something to that effect) and he instantly lowered the intensity of that stroke, but it blasted me over the edge and i broke into emotional sobs, having waited through my yellow to the edge of red to tell him. He reached under my neck and pulled me into him and i sobbed into his chest. He cupped my sex, rolled onto his side and i curled into the fetal position into him and he held me in my aftercare.

His aftercare was very different than Maximus’. He was very quiet and held me still, where Maximus talks to me and strokes me (which i adore). We laid together for quite a while and then i was able to talk. i felt wonderful and i made sure he knew. He then told me what time it was and i was absolutely amazed…we’d been at this for two hours! No wonder i hit a limit! He went down and returned with coffee and joined me in a bath where we made plans for the rest of the day.

Amazing alder leaf on our walk

We ended up going for coffee at a great little coffee shop i love, for a walk along the riverfront, and then shopped for things we needed for dinner that night. We both texted Maximus and Sunflower and checked in with them. Mountain Man told me he had received instructions from Maximus for later.

During our walk, Mountain Man asked me a wonderful question. “What is the thing that you love about Maximus the most?” i replied, “His energy.” i explained, “His energy fills the room and it’s electric. It’s the first thing i noticed about Him when i first met Him years ago. i was entering our friends home with my husband and He walked into the great room while we were saying our hellos and the room immediately filled with energy. His energy fills me and this is the only relationship i’ve ever had that has given me energy rather than sucked it out of me. He’s my biggest fan and just energizes me.” i then told Mountain Man about the Things i Want or Need list that i found and told Him how Maximus hit every one of the bullet points (i didn’t elaborate on the specific points, other than be my biggest fan), and He asked if i’d told Maximus about this. i noted that i had written about it in my submissive’s journal (my blog–they don’t know about my blog, i have only described it as my online sub journal) that Maximus reads and that we would most assuredly talk about it when we were together again, as we do that.

We returned home, worked on dinner prep and had some lunch, then we returned to the bedroom. As i undressed, Mountain Man observed my matching panties and bra and asked me to leave them on. i knelt down in front of my fireplace on the white fur rug and took him into my mouth (he is very well endowed, girth and length). i then learned that Maximus’ instructions were not for something that he was to do to me, but for something i was to do to Mountain Man! Such a crafty master, my Maximus! My task was to deep throat Mountain Man while he slowly counted to ten. Maximus loves to watch me take cocks deep down my throat. Mountain Man asked me how i wanted to do this and i explained that i wanted to lay on my back on the bed with my head hanging back off the edge and have him stand and put his cock down my throat. i was very concerned that i had eaten just a mere 5 minutes before we came upstairs and i was admonishing myself about insisting that i not be told what Maximus’ request was (i wished Mountain Man had distracted me from eating!). i failed my first attempt. When Mountain Man got to 7, i gagged and vomited into my mouth, but swallowed it. Mountain Man briskly flipped me over on my stomach and spanked me hard three times. Oh wow! Ok then, i’ll show YOU! I thought! He flipped me back over and put his cock down my throat and began counting again…and i went to 11.5!!!

Mountain Man immediately texted Maximus, “Mission complete. What is her reward?” Maximus replied, “Good girl, i will reward her later.” Grin!

Now, i assumed Maximus would have had a different instruction for Mountain Man. Each time i texted Him, He asked if i’d had anal with Mountain Man, so i figured His instruction would be for Mountain Man to fuck my ass. Silly girl, Maximus isn’t Mountain Man’s dom–he’s mine! Mountain Man asked what he could do to reward me and i told him what i had thought Maximus’ instruction would be and that i would like my reward to be having him fuck my ass so i could tell Maximus i had anal sex with Mountain Man. He gladly agreed to my request. He lubed and fingered my ass for quite a while, preparing me for entry. i then moved to my side and he entered me slowly (i have learned that i need to lay on my side for the first entry into my ass, i’m not sure why, but it works). After he was in, i returned to my knees and he pounded my ass, pulling my hair like i love. He was so vocal about how good it felt and i could tell he was holding off his orgasm. After about 30 minutes i was getting to where i needed a break so i asked him to come in my ass and he came IMMEDIATELY, roaring! It was spectacular.

We cuddled a bit and then returned downstairs to make dinner. As soon as we sat down to eat, Maximus texted that The Englishman was at His house and wanted to Skype with me. Mountain Man and i visited with The Englishman all through dinner. Maximus prompted us in the background for us to tell The Englishman about some of our forays and we could see Him showing The Englishman pictures from His phone. We all had a ball! Maximus looked so good in the background, so happy–it made my heart smile. While we were talking with The Englishman, Maximus texted me, “Love you baby,” and i melted.

Sunflower was delayed and didn’t get back until late. She watched the last half of a movie with us and then we went up to bed. It was midnight and frankly, i was exhausted! i would have played if they wanted, but it appeared Mountain Man was tired as well. i realized as i was preparing for bed that we hadn’t told Sunflower about our day. i mentioned this when i climbed in with them, and Sunflower informed me that Mountain Man was “grounded” because he told her he was too tired to tell her. Oh no! i thought. This can’t be good. So i told her i didn’t want to be grounded and told her the story of the day while he laid between us. She asked what i meant when i told her he had pushed me over the edge earlier that morning and i described it–and she immediately gave him an exploding fist bump, so i felt a little better about this. We then started off to sleep.

But then Sunflower got up 20 minutes later… i was concerned and asked her if she was ok and she replied that she couldn’t sleep and was going to go down and play with her Kindle. i was very concerned and expected Mountain Man to follow her. However, after she’d been gone about a minute, it was obvious he wasn’t moving, so i nudged him and told him to go see if she was ok. He did and i could hear them talking for an hour and a half, nothing heated, it was a normal conversation with giggles (i couldn’t hear what they were saying, just their voices). They never returned to bed with me and were in the guest room when i woke in the morning. She came down in the morning while i was on the couch with coffee and my laptop, texting Maximus. i checked with her and she said she was absolutely fine; she has chronic pain and has a difficult time falling asleep without exhausting herself first with her Kindle or sex. Since we didn’t have sex she was restless.

We had breakfast and they departed for home, lots of hugs and kisses and loves.

Maximus called me after they left and he praised me for my good decision to have Mountain Man go check on Sunflower. He agreed that it would have been inappropriate for Mountain Man to sleep alone with me in my bed and that it was important that i ensured they were ok by sending Mountain Man down to check on her. It made me happy on both counts, that i pleased Maximus and that i took care of my friends.

Sunflower and Mountain Man left a few items behind, so we will be getting together with them next weekend while i am up visiting Maximus. We are all looking forward to our foursome!

Categories: BDSM, D/s, Dom/sub, Dominant, rope bondage, submissive, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

In the Beginning, Part 2: Playful Intentions

I exclaimed His name when i saw Him, “i sent you an email and never heard from you!” i playfully pouted. “What?!? I never got it.” “i know, i sent it to your online profile and have seen you’ve not been on.”

“What did it say?” He inquired…

“That i hoped you were ok.”

“That’s so sweet!”

Summoned by a girlfriend, i sashayed away and sat in her lap as she desired. He approached to inquire what wine He could bring us and we placed our requests. i was glad to see Him, looked forward to playing as i’d missed His adept hands, desired to be taken by Him again. i wanted to play, that was my intention.

He sat with me at dinner, He inquired about my travels, i shared that i had started endurance racing since we’d last seen each other and that i was interested in hearing about His swimming. It was very nonchalant, just catching up on everything other than our relationships. We finished dessert and went off to play. It was wonderful as always and when I went to leave, we made sure we updated our contact information. It was very casual, no intentions at all other than reconnecting to play, and really, in my mind, to play as we had always done, at our friends’ parties.

Shortly thereafter, i signed up for a race in his town, three hours away from my home, and contacted Him to see if i might be able to get together with Him when i was there–i was planning on staying with family but thought it’d be great to see Him. He invited me to stay with Him instead, and i accepted.

i was nervous when i arrived, butterflies. We’d spent time together at parties, but not more than socializing at dinner, fucking, and afterglow cuddling. His home was beautiful! Immaculately clean, upscale, beautifully decorated, i was impressed, to say the least. The walls of His office were covered with national swimming awards and medals–i am in awe and feeling a little out of my league. He poured glasses of rich red wine from His extensive wine collection and we sat on the couch and talked about our relationships, having time to finally talk about what’d happened, share some things about ourselves. We started to kiss, it was heavenly. Then we moved into His office…Yes, His office. He cleared the floor, spread a leopard print Liberator mat, peeled off my clothes and His, and enjoyed each other until we were spent and hungry!

The next day we toured around Seattle, scoping out my race location, and wine tasting. And shameless flirting! That night He took me to a local swingers club He belonged to–it was Pirate Night, so we donned our sexy pirate garb and hooked up with His friend Z Baby and her date E to play. Wow! What fun. The four of us found ourselves in the Mirror Room, which, as the name suggests, has walls and ceiling lined with mirrors, although due to fears of broken glass, the mirrors are plastic sheets and have pulled away from the sheetrock in places and warped, giving it a bit of a hiliarious “House of Mirrors” effect! We finally pulled away at got home at 2am as i had a race in just a few hours.

My race? Well, it wasn’t my best performance! i was hungover, dehydrated, sleep-deprived, the muscles of my legs and buttocks were burning from two nights of fucking workouts, but He was wonderful support, being an athletic competitor as well.

We enjoyed the rest of my stay over the next days, our friendship blossoming. I returned home and we texted, talked on the phone, and emailed. For our friends’ next party two weeks later, i picked Him up at the airport and we arrived together, spent the night together at their home, and then He flew home. In fact, we did that for the next two parties, the second of which i drove Him back to Seattle afterward and stayed at his home for a week while i attended a work conference. Our friendship grew very intimate as we shared our stories, relationship histories, weaknesses and fears, bodies, caring for each other, helping each other out wherever we needed it. Our playful intentions were growing into something more.

Categories: BDSM, D/s, Dom/sub, Dominant, submissive, swinging, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

In the Beginning

As usual, i’m four steps ahead of myself…

How did we get here? Who are we? Let me start with our beginning, how we met and started our relationship together.

He and i have been great friends for years, met in the swinger lifestyle. i remember meeting Him for the first time, walking into our friends home with my then husband, and seeing Him walk out into the great room in a flourish, completely energizing the entire room and party. i remember being instantly transfixed with this gorgeous man and blown away when He approached me, sexy smile, “Mmmmm, hello,” an amazing kiss and rub, then his wonderful giggle when He then inquired if i’d like a glass of wine. “Who is this man?”, i thought. i want more.

We sat next to each other at dinner, flirts, glances, touches. After dessert He disappeared, only to reappear naked, swimmer’s physique, completely tan except his white ass glowing as He walked outside to the catcalls and teasing from the group about always being the first one naked. Oh my god, how do i not make it obvious, but i want to strip right now and join Him. i cannot remember how or when, but i did join Him, we met in the hot tub and promptly went upstairs to play.

His skin, oh His skin, i remember touching it for the first time–like kid leather, supple, taut, warm, golden, shaved smooth for swimming. His body on top of mine is heaven. Amazing kisses, my hands in his silky hair. And then He takes me in squirting orgasm with His hands, “That’s my favorite thing!” I gasp, “Please don’t stop!” We played together and then parted to check on our respective spouses and then played with others, it was, after all, a swingers party. We exchanged contact information when I left with my husband.

Although i so enjoyed Him, our contact was limited to parties at our friends’ home, so a few times a year. Neither my husband nor i had chemistry with His wife, but that did not deter us from enjoying each other fully when we were together.

Some time after, my marriage dissolved, well, it wasn’t solid to begin with. i contacted our lifestyle friends to let them know our status and contact changes. He replied to me to let me know i was always welcome to come stay with Him and his wife. i never took him up on that offer. i had lost my soul in my last marriage. i did see Him one last time at our friend’s Halloween party, two years ago this week, enjoyed Him but sex was a distraction i couldn’t handle and i needed to heal. i slipped away from the swinging lifestyle, delved into Tantra to rediscover myself.

After over a year of healing, learning through trial and error that vanilla relationships did not fit my life, i returned to swinging, reconnecting with my friends in this lifestyle. i returned to my online sources to reconnect and found His status had changed to single–i was shocked! i sent Him a note to let Him know i was sorry to see the status change, hoped He was ok, and as i had gone through a breakup myself, asked Him to let me know if he needed anything or just to talk. i never heard from Him. i checked his profile occasionally and saw He hadn’t been online to read it. Not knowing whose contact info i had, His or his wife’s, i was reluctant to email or call. 

Two months later, as i walked into my friends’ home, i watched Him walk out into the great room in a flourish, completely energizing the entire room and party…i want more.

Categories: BDSM, D/s, Dom/sub, Dominant, lifestyle, submissive, swinging, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

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