submissive housewife

What do i do?


Since i’ve retired and moved in with Maximus, the most common question i get is, “What do you do all day?” i retired young and people, vanilla and lifestyle alike, often ask if i’m going to go back to work. Honestly, i love being retired and work harder now than i ever did when i was employed in my professional occupation. my answer is always the same, “i am the COO (Chief Operating Officer) of Maximus,” to which they laugh and agree that it would be a full-time job! Nothing has ever described my role in our D/s better than COO. my job is to make Maximus’ life run smoothly and i take that extremely seriously.

Fortunately, i am a bit of a Renaissance woman and am very capable in a wide array of activities, from cooking and housekeeping, to home repair and landscaping. i have a background in home construction and other skills not traditional to women, which Maximus really appreciates. my weakest area would be in automotive and small engines, as i never really had an interest in that area.

So i take care of whatever needs taking care of around here. If it’s something i can do, i do it; if it’s beyond my capabilities, i contract someone else to do it. i am the contact for any and all contracted services we need, such as pest control, septic maintenance, annual furnace maintenance, etc). i listen very closely to Maximus and pick up on things He might mention as needing attention, even when He’s not realized He’s said anything, and He also asks me to take care of things that come up. i keep a prioritized running list of things needing attention and never have a wont for something to do. For example, last week i replaced the two sink faucets in our bathroom after the one at Maximus’ sink broke underneath and could not be repaired; replaced the kitchen faucet after Maximus noted the spray hose would not stay in the faucet anymore and it was irritating Him; removed wall cabinets in the garage and found a neighbor who wanted them, painted the exposed wall, installed shelving and hooks to hang our ladders and extra folding dining room chairs; went grocery, Christmas, and miscellaneous needs shopping; dropped off and picked up dry cleaning; winterized the yard and house; dealt with a utility service; cooked; cleaned; etc. That’s a pretty typical week and i love it! And so does Maximus.

i do ensure that the house is clean and tidy at all times–i’ve always been that way, it’s not anything new due to our D/s. i’ve always wanted to have a home where anyone could drop by at any time and not feel like i had to apologize for the state of the housekeeping. Granted, there are times where that can’t be avoided, like when we were in the midst of decorating for the holidays and there were boxes and piles of things in process of being installed or packed up, but for the general part, things are picked up and clean at all times. Maximus does do housekeeping tasks–He likes to do this as He’s just as OCD as i am about keeping the house clean and enjoys cleaning as a break from His daily work activities–so it’s not all on me. But i do a majority of the tasks and have learned not to be personally offended by Maximus’ cleaning activities, that is unless He’s having to do something that He’d asked me to and i’d not done–that’s a different story.

There are tasks that i do on a weekly schedule, much like the wash on Monday, iron on Tuesday, etc. vintage housekeeping guide:

  • Monday – Tidy up the garage. It gets cluttered. Our cars should always be able to park inside the garage. We have a utility trailer stored in one of the garage bays and Maximus likes to put large cardboard that doesn’t fit in the can in there as a holding location for our every-other-week recycling. i put out the garbage every Monday night and recycling every other Monday night for Tuesday morning pickup. Yard debris will commence next week, so putting that can out will be a weekly Monday night task.
  • Tuesday – Clean kitchen. This is the deep-cleaning, go through the refrigerator and toss old stuff, task. i’ll clean the oven if it’s needing it, take everything off the counters and clean, refill cleaning supplies, clean refrigerator shelves, wipe down cabinets, take inventory of pantry for shopping list. Bring in garbage cans.
  • Wednesday – Yard work, clean porch and patio. Go to the farm for our weekly Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) pickup, if in season. If it is CSA pickup season, i will go grocery shopping immediately afterward for rest of food needs.
  • Thursday – Dust entire house. Clean Showers.
  • Friday – Wash windows and dust sills and blinds. We have wooden slat blinds and after neglecting those in the condo until we were getting ready to rent it out and moving into the Lakehouse with slats that hadn’t been cleaned, i’ve started cleaning these on a weekly basis to avoid a huge job later.
  • Saturday – Yard work. Maximus’ ears.
  • Sunday – Wash bedding and remake bed with lavender linen spray (i make my own in a spray bottle with water and several drops of lavender oil–just shake prior to spraying so the oil mixes in the water evenly). Water houseplants.

i don’t have a schedule for sweeping, vacuuming, mopping the floors, laundry or CSA off-season grocery shopping as i do those on an as needed basis. i hate going grocery shopping when it’s crowded, however, and will resist going in the evenings or weekends as much as possible. i also make our own laundry detergent and make that when it is getting low so Maximus doesn’t encounter an empty container if He decides to run a load of laundry. Laundry is another task Maximus enjoys and we share that–however laundry is always put away immediately after folding and doesn’t sit out in the laundry room or bedroom. Dishes are done while i am cooking and immediately after we are finished eating as Maximus and i hate having dishes in the sink or on the counter. Maximus does the dinner dishes and i do my best to have just serving dishes for Him to do, having done all the dishes from preparing the meal myself (other than perhaps the pot or pan a casserole or soup cooked in) so He does not have a huge mess to clean because of me. And He generally puts clean dishes away from the dishwasher in the morning while He’s waiting for His coffee to perk.

At His request, Maximus makes His own coffee in the morning and then also makes tea for me. He gets up earlier than i do, goes out to get the newspaper, makes coffee and tea, reads the newspaper in the kitchen, brings my tea up to my nightstand, and then either goes to His office to work or heads out to the pool for His daily swim.

One thing i don’t do…clean toilets. It’s a hard limit for me!! i hated cleaning them when i was working (yes, we had to do our own janitorial) and i hate cleaning them at home. Maximus doesn’t mind cleaning toilets, so He does that. i clean the rest of the bathroom!

Other than domestic duties, i read, play the piano, exercise (run, Zumba, swim), manage our social calendar, research miscellaneous things for Maximus and myself, sew, visit friends and family, etc. And i do other enrichment/self-improvement activities that either Maximus or i come up with. Maximus has requested that i get formal training on wine, so i am enrolled in a beginners class at a local community college on wine tasting that covers wine types, grapes, varietals, wine-and-food pairing, buying, proper storing, and aging.

So that’s what i do!

Categories: 24/7, D/s, submissive housewife | Leave a comment

Happy Half


i’ve mentioned Happy Half a lot, but don’t think i’ve ever explained it.

Happy Half appeared in our amended contract of April 2016, however, i believe it started prior to that, sometime between September 2014 and April 2016, just wasn’t codified until last April. It started after i became frustrated with Maximus’ work-life balance–well,  really, the lack of it. Maximus can easily work twenty hours a day, as long as He gets a swim in at some point. He won’t really eat, other than grabbing a banana, oatmeal, or a plate of almond butter (yes, i really did say a PLATE of almond butter) and He doesn’t have a quitting time being that He works from home when not traveling. There’s always work for Him to do and He can just get wrapped up in it and lose track of time.

That was fine when He was single, but when i moved in, it made it difficult for me to navigate things like dinner time. i could never figure out when to plan for dinner and i always felt like i was interrupting. We discussed that He needed work-life balance and find a way to end His work day when at home, both for His mental health and time for us together. He mentioned that when He was growing up, His father would come home from work, state, “Mother, bring me a drink,” and His parents would sit together in the formal living room and visit about their day. Maximus and His brother were not allowed in the living room during this time–it was adult time only. After His parents were done talking, His mom would put dinner on the table and it was family time. Maximus had really forgotten about this until we were talking about needing a transition time from work, but found the idea really attractive for us.

Maximus has always had a “No bras after 5:30PM” rule, even before we were D/s, and it’s one of my clothing rules. So He decided to incorporate the end of His work day with the no-bra rule. As Maximus can get completely immersed in His work and lose track of time, i am to knock on the office door at 5 PM and after He acknowledges me, inform Him of the time. He will then notify me whether the 5:30 Happy Half time will work or if He needs more time to complete whatever project He’s in the middle of. i inquire what He’d like to drink for Happy Half and/or may make recommendations/suggestions for Him to choose from.  And then i leave Him be.

i often work on dinner prep during this time. i also prepare our drinks, any hors d’oeuvres, and set up space for Happy Half. During the colder months, Happy Half is inside, generally in the Family Room. When weather permits, we have Happy Half outside either at the deck table or chaise lounges so we can enjoy the weather and scenery. Setting up the space just entails that the area is neat and tidy, coasters present, television is off, music may be on, wine decanted (if serving wine) or champagne chilled, and glasses set out, etc. If we are having cocktails, i will have things at the ready to mix at the kitchen island so i may serve fresh drinks when He leaves His office. If Happy Half will be indoors, i will often just wear an apron and stilettos, but if it is cold, i may wear nice clothing. If outdoors, i wear whatever clothing is appropriate for the weather (sans bra, of course!).

Maximus starts Happy Half with a toast to us. Then we catch up on our day. If it is a Monday, we may incorporate my training into Happy Half, unless training requires more time, in which case Maximus will schedule that earlier in the day. The goal of Happy Half is for Maximus to transition away from work and for us to reconnect. To avoid making dinnertime too late, it is meant to be thirty minutes, thus the name Happy Half rather than Happy Hour, but it can be extended as necessary, although it is always a minimum of thirty minutes.

Happy Half has been incredibly important for us. Not only does it set a quitting time for Maximus’ work day and allow me to plan for dinner, but it reconnects us and sets the intention for us to come together every evening. It gives me a time that i can bring up things i need to discuss with Maximus rather than interrupting Him during His work day. And it really reinforces our D/s every single day. And i love how it incorporates the 1950’s style into our relationship that i wrote about in Our M/s.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM relationship, Happy Half, relationship, submissive housewife, togetherness | 1 Comment

Utility sub

So not all of our D/s is sex…a lot of it is, in fact, utility.

When i moved in with Maximus two years ago, i asked if He would add me as an authorized person on the utility accounts, that way if something went wrong with telephone, internet, gas, water etc. while He was traveling i could deal with it. And it turned out to be a good thing, as problems did occur while He was gone every once and a while and i was able to fix them without bothering Him. This is a prime example of how i am COO in our CEO/COO D/s relationship.

We rented out our condo and moved into a beautiful lake house the end of this summer. i was tasked to handle the transition, which i took on happily. Maximus likes to brag that He did 0.4% of the move and that i only did 99.6%! It went smoothly and i accomplished my main goal which was to have Maximus unplug His computer at the hotel, come to the house, plug in His computer and be able to start working again without interruption. i handled the installation of new hardwood floors, utility stops and starts, landscaping, movers, packing and unpacking, arranging, etc. We moved in on a Saturday and had the house ready for overnight guests the following Friday and weekend!

The Pacific Northwest has been inundated with rain for the past three months–record rain–and it’s kept me from doing a bunch of stuff in the yard i want to do. We finally had a sunny morning two days ago and i was able to get out and get things winterized. With all the landscaping work, we’ve amassed a huge compost pile that is really just too big to deal with and is full of evergreen boughs, sod, rose bush trimmings which are near impossible to compost effectively. So i decided it was time to add yard debris to our garbage service so we can whittle this down over the winter when we don’t have grass clippings to deal with. i went into the house and got the last billing statements from Maximus’ file so i could call the company to change our service. To my surprise, i found we had an invoice dated that day with a huge credit on the condo and a past due notice on the house for garbage service! Maximus hadn’t said a thing about it–which He was under no obligation to do–but usually He asks me if there are discrepancies like this. When i got through to our service provider, they added the new service and checked our accounts, confirming that i did close our condo service and start house service in September, and that we had no credit or outstanding balance. Maximus had probably just taken care of whatever the problem was. Being that we’d traveled to Desire and work had been so hectic for Him before we left, i figured the mix up was due to that.

Maximus got home from three days of work travel that night and as i updated Him on everything i’d done while He was gone, i mentioned the garbage service invoices. He did not recall seeing them, the credit, or the past due notice, but did remember filing the invoices. He’d said He was just so distracted with work stuff (it’s open enrollment time and His company is finally switching to benefits packages of the parent company that bought His. He’s had to figure out and change EVERY benefit program He’s in and it’s been confusing, frustrating, and time-consuming).

So i offered to take this off His plate. i already deal with all the utility changes and set them all up for the new house. i had been watching the utility bills the first month or two when they started coming in because i wanted to confirm they were billing us as they said we were when i set things up after Maximus had a question about a huge cable bill we got.

“Why don’t i just take utility bills off Your plate, Sir?” i asked. Long pause…

“I’m handling that,” He replied.

“You’ve been so overwhelmed with everything with work. i already am the contact with our utility services and know what should be happening with our bills. i can simply log on to your banking and take care of them, and take care of any issues that arise.”

Uncomfortable silence from Maximus.

Per our contract, Maximus takes care of the finances other than my few bills. Per our contract, i come to Maximus every month, kneel in front of Him, and present a written request for a check to cover my expenses. i must perform whatever act He requests at that time in order to receive the check. i don’t have any problem with this and it’s worked fine, but since we’ve moved, my bank is further away, making depositing the check kind of a hassle, thus i often hold them until i have two or more checks to deposit and simply transfer money around to cover my bills.

“It could make things easier for You. Instead of having to write me a check to cover my expenses, i could pay those expenses directly from Your account when i go to deal with the utility bills. Less interruption in Your day and something off Your plate.” And i explained the issue with depositing the checks from Him.

“I’ll have to think about it,” He replied. And we went to sleep.

Last night during Happy Half, Maximus shared His trepidation over me paying the utility and my personal bills from His account. It triggered Him, and i hadn’t known. Turns out that JB, his second wife, approached Him to do this very thing and ended up taking large sums of money from Him and overspending His accounts before they got divorced. After thinking about it overnight and during the day, He determined, “This is a great thing! gabriella’s taking something off My plate, which is what i want and need her to do.” He realized that with everything on His plate He hadn’t changed the account number in His bill pay and had been paying on the closed garbage service account rather than the new one–and He missed the bills that should have caught His attention about it. And unlike with JB, we have a contract, intense trust, and would not have the issue He had before. And, we have separate banks, i added, i cannot easily transfer the money between the accounts between the two institutions.

But He had one request. “I really, really like to read the inserts in the utility bills…there’s good information in them a lot of the time.”

And i replied, “And i would really, really like to read those too! Right now, i never see them because You recycle them when You’re done reading them when paying the bills. How about i put the flyers on Your desk next to the bills i’ve marked as paid when i’m done paying them and ready for Your review and filing?”


“And will you pay the paper bill, too?”

Categories: 24/7, D/s, financial submission, relationship, submissive housewife, trust | Leave a comment

Tired subby


i’m one tired subby right now. i headed up to Maximus’ Tuesday morning with a load of stuff to move in. After some lunch, we moved the things in and while Maximus worked, i worked on moving things, redecorating, moving beds, and getting the guest room/my office rearranged to store stuff as i move things up. i made dinner after a trip to the grocery store and we watched our new favorite show, Masters of Sex (we’ve just started Season 1!!). And then we crashed.

The next morning i attacked the patio area where we will be adding my piano room on in the remodel. i pulled out all the plants, moved trellises and pots, and got things cleaned out. That evening we got cleaned up and headed up to our swinging club. We hadn’t been for so long that we had to go through orientation again to renew our membership. We were both tired and it was over 90 degrees out, making the un-air conditioned club stifling. As our goal was to get re-orientated, we went home after the presentation, watched some more Masters of Sex and crashed!

The next day Maximus worked and i did school work. i was scheduled to go to a women’s swinging meet up, but there were only three of us signed up and the host was not feeling well, so we bagged it.

Friday, i came home early due to a scheduled freeway closure that night (i’ve had two 5-hour trips home, rather than the usual 3-hour trips, due to freeway closures and i was not about to go through that again!). i ended up selling and giving away most of my furniture Friday and today when i got home, which is great for getting ready for the move! But i am soooo tired!

Tomorrow is a break, but i’ll be back at it the rest of the week. It will be good to be occupied as Maximus is heading to the wilderness for His annual backpacking trip with His brother and will be off the grid until late Wednesday.

It’s happening! As soon as the house is rented…full time submissive housewife! And i can hardly wait!

Categories: BDSM relationship, submissive housewife | 1 Comment

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