playing separate

The Girlfriend Experience, Part One

kiss-lipstick-print_small

A few weeks ago i came across a profile of a bisexual single woman on one of our swinger sites. The profile picture caught my eye because it was a race photo, and i’m attracted to athletic people. Her profile intrigued me:

Looking to meet women for friendship. My ideal person is someone who is active (I’m a runner), likes to go to movies or concerts, dancing, out for a glass of wine. Happy going out or staying in.

Hmmmm, i thought, interesting. But what exactly does she mean? Is she looking for just friends or FWB? So i messaged her. (Please note, i use the capital I when writing in non-D/s situations, so you will see that in the following messages.)

Hello, this is the female half. I came across your profile and am interested in knowing more. I am a runner too, as well as triathlete. What specifically are you looking for?
Looking forward to hearing from you.

And she replied (always a good sign)!

Hi! I’m looking for female friendship. If the friendship grows to fwb that’s great, if not, that’s fine too. I’d like to have friends that I share things in common … go to concerts, dancing, plays, things like that.

We were/have been in the swing lifestyle for a long time. We have retained a few friends over the years (none of them are here – we are new to the area) but, mostly, we have found that those relationships are VERY short-term. So that’s NOT what I’m looking for.

Do you run road, trails, both?

Cheers!

Well i have to admit i was so intrigued! Maximus was traveling and i told Him about what i had found. Really, what intrigued me the most was that she was looking for women friends–on a lifestyle site! That made so much sense to me and i thought it was just brilliant. Why hadn’t i thought of that? i mean, sex is great, but what Maximus and i strive for is friendships in lifestyle. And being new to this area, having moved up to be with Maximus just over a year ago, i really am looking for friends since mine all live hours and hours away.

So i wrote back:

I think that’s great! I never would have thought to search for that on this site, but I’m so glad you did.

We’ve been in the swing lifestyle for a long time as well. In fact, we met through mutual swinger friends and had a long distance relationship for several years until I finally just moved up here. I’ve been here for about a year and a half. I had a great network of running/triathlon friends where I was before, but I’ve just not been able to recreate that here yet, so I’m really interested in what you’re looking for.

I don’t live too far from you. I train primarily on trails up here and just started doing trail races last year. I’ve done mostly road races in the past.

I’d be happy to chat, either on this site or through some other means, and/or meet for coffee sometime. I look forward to getting to know you.

i loved her reply:

I guess I came here to find friends with like minds because it is very tiresome to have to constantly hide my lifestyle choices. Even though this is a more progressive thinking part of the country, I really don’t want my neighbors or work mates knowing “that” side of my life. Probably a hold over from living back east, neighbors here may not care. But some just won’t know what to think and I don’t want problems for our kids. So, here I am.

We started to chat off-site–Maximus allows this. And we really seemed to match. She is married and her husband allows for single play with women. We met for drinks several days later and it was wonderful! She is intelligent, out-going, sexy, funny, and we talked for hours over wine and appetizers. We departed with a goodbye kiss that left us both wanting for more.
So we made time for more!

Maximus had a swim meet back East with SwimmerGuy the end of last week through the weekend, Wednesday through Sunday, so RunnerGirl and i decided to spend some time together. Maximus was thrilled! Initially, it was just to have her over for wine and girl time, but as the week and our anticipation progressed, it turned into Friday evening wine and girl time, an overnight at our house, a Saturday morning trail race, and next night grand opening gala for a new lifestyle club in Seattle!

It was exciting! i hadn’t had a girlfriend overnight in years. i wasn’t sure what to wear! So icheeky lace settled with a sheer cream light knit sweater with a plunging key-hole neckline with a sexy burgundy bra underneath–one that matched sexy burgundy cheeky panties with a cut-out back and ribbon trussing–and boyfriend skimmer jeans with sexy heeled black sandals. She arrived in alicea trench coat–that’s a great start! Underneath she had a short-sleeved deep v-necked red ruched tee with a short black mini skirt, Alice in Wonderland tattoo-style tights, and red patent leather heels.

After a tour of the house, we settled in the master closet–yes, really! We are going to see Kinky Boots next weekend and my stipulation is that we both have to wear kinky boots–she doesn’t have any. Fortunately, i have a wide range of kinky boots, so we set on a mission to see which pair would work for her! And we found a winner, to be displayed in a future post after we go to the musical.

We returned downstairs and talked for hours over a bottle of wine. It really is a good connection with her. We talked about everything from life, swinging, running, families, my D/s with Maximus. Finally, it was getting super late and we’d not played yet and had a race in the morning! So we went upstairs to the bedroom.

i took her into the secure storage room and we went through the toy cabinet to see if there was anything she wanted to use in our play. She selected the stacked Wartenberg wheel as the only toy she brought was her single Wartenberg wheel, then the spiky gloves, the Hitachi wand, and the “mom” double ended dildo. i grabbed the Injoyus strapless strap-on and the double ended glass dildo.

And then we played! It was so great! She tasted and felt so good! We really didn’t even use a lot of the toys. We rode the Hitachi together, i fucked her with the Injoyus and we both had squirting orgasms, i used her Wartenberg wheel on her and she used mine on me, rolling it over breasts and in our groins around our pussies, and i fucked her with the glass dildo.

We finally went to sleep around 3 and got up at 6 to get ready for our race! She tried to talk us out of going, to no avail. After a shared bath and some breakfast, we were out the door! All smiles!

To be continued…

Categories: girl on girl sex, lifestyle, playing separate, swinging, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

Who’s Your Daddy?

Last night a Facebook page i follow, Limits and Temptations, posted this topic for discussion:

Topic for discussion: Jealousy. How do you, as a sub/slave/bottom deal with your Owner/Master/Dom/Daddy/Sir having others serve them?

And i realized i should have addressed this in my last posting (Sex with Friends) about my weekend with Mountain Man and Sunflower.

Maximus and i come to BDSM by way of the swinging lifestyle. We met each other at a house party years ago, both attached to other people (not BDSM attached, married). So, we have a lot of experience with sharing ourselves and being comfortable with our partners being with others, both in our presence and outside of that. The swinging lifestyle is something that we enjoy, fits our personalities and needs, and is not something either of us are willing to give up. Separately, we have come to realize we are not monogamous people, although we are extremely LOYAL people. Sex and love are two different things for us, something we can separate. We have sex with many others, and while we may have deep connections with some of our lifestyle friends, we LOVE only each other.

We discussed in great detail how swinging lifestyle would fit into our Dom/sub relationship when we worked on our contract. Our contract allows for Maximus or i to “enter into any sexual relations with anyone other than each other….in or outside the presence of either party, at any location, at any time.” We live separately, three hours apart, thus our time together is limited; we both understand and respect that we are sexual beings and desire sexual relations more frequently than our time together allows. Maximus may not “loan” me to any other Dominant, however; He may “direct” me to “serve another Dominant” within the limits of my BDSM allowable activities list, but i am not to be loaned as even temporary property to another. Maximus is my Master and i am solely His property and cannot be owned by any other Dominant. Additionally, per our contract, i will be Maximus’ only sub and He cannot take ownership of any other subs. Should it please Him to have me serve another Dominant, i will obey. It pleases Him that i play with others and share my stories with Him–and i enjoy hearing about His experiences as well.

We are both free to continue our swinging activities together and separately with existing and new partners, but we are required to notify each other of requests and scheduled rendezvous promptly. We both understand that some events are spontaneous and our contract requires us to notify the other as soon as possible after a spontaneous, unplanned encounter. It is understood that some activities on our BDSM activities list may occur with others during these times, such as spanking or flogging or bondage, but they are activities, and do not represent the development of a new Dom/sub relationship. Acquisition of a new sub or Dom, or declaring love for another represents a catastrophic breech of our contract and betrayal of our commitment to each other.

We do have one very specific rule in regards to swinging. We both find sleeping with someone, as in actually sleeping, not the euphemism for the act of having sex, to be extremely intimate and special. Except in very special situations that are communicated and mutually agreed upon, we are not to sleep with anyone other than each other. When we are together, we will always sleep together. This includes situations where we may be playing in separate areas at a party or at our homes and may dose off in afterglow–we will always get up and find each other in order to sleep in each others arms for the remainder of the event. We may agree to return to play with others after that, but it is unacceptable for either of us to spend the entire event apart without spending intimate time connecting with each other and affirming our commitment. My sleeping with Mountain Man and Sunflower was discussed and mutually agreed upon prior to the event and approved because i would be sleeping with them together, not alone with Mountain Man, which would have been a breech. Therefore, when Sunflower left my bed, it was no longer acceptable for me to be sleeping with Mountain Man (for several reasons, which i discussed in my earlier post).

The great thing about incorporating swinging into our BDSM relationship is that it gives us the ability to learn from more experienced others since we are new to BDSM. We have recently met another couple, who lives near Maximus, who have been in BDSM for years. This couple has expressed interest in Maximus playing separately with them and with her alone, and we are both very excited for Him to have the potential to learn from this arrangement. Maximus and i talked a lot before Mountain Man and Sunflower came to stay this past weekend, knowing that they were venturing into BDSM and Mountain Man had expressed interest in my BDSM activities list. My instructions from Maximus was to learn, accept training from Mountain Man, and that it would please Him for me to serve Mountain Man in whatever way he desired–i was not being loaned to Mountain Man, i was being asked to serve him in a BDSM role and obey his requests. i was serving Maximus in this situation and this is the distinct difference in being with Maximus and any other Dominant. Mountain Man was being dominant, but was not my Dominant–he’s Sunflower’s Dominant.

So my reply to Limits and Temptations would be, no, there is no jealousy for Maximus, my Dominant, to be served by another submissive, as long as it is done within the agreements in our contract. There are times that i have questioned the nature of His relationship with another, for clarification, such as the case of Ms. W, because i assumed He was in love with her, but He has assured me that He is not. If He were to fall in love with someone else, wildcat jealousy would not even begin to describe my response, and rightly so. i would expect the same from Him.

Categories: BDSM, D/s, Dom/sub, Dominant, jealousy, playing separate, playing together, sex vs. love, submissive, swinging lifestyle | Leave a comment

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