Fibroid Tumors

It’s Hysterical!


hysterical (adj.)

1610s, from Latin hystericus “of the womb,” from Greek hysterikos “of the womb, suffering in the womb,” from hystera “womb” (see uterus). Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus. Meaning “very funny” (by 1939) is from the notion of uncontrollable fits of laughter. Related: Hysterically. – courtesy of

Seriously, i really am still here! i’ve been just shocked at how my uterus has taken over my life and just how much it has exhausted me in the process. i’ve not been able to work, stay up past 7 PM, or blog, let alone have sex!

Since my last post, my abdomen did settle down with the liquid diet and hormones (birth control pills) and was able to get back onto solid food and back to work. i had a recheck with my OB-GYN who recommended that we just stay that course and leave everything alone other than continuing on the birth control pills, but i had done a lot of research on fibroid tumors and based upon my condition, how exhausted i continued to be, and family history of cancer, i requested a hysterectomy. i fully expected some push-back from my doctor, but he granted my request.

The next available surgical appointment wasn’t for two months! So i headed back to work even though i was just wiped out. i made it two and a half weeks before i was just too exhausted to work–it wasn’t safe. i was physically wiped out, had no energy, but most of all emotionally wiped out from the hormones. i was a wreck! Maximus started calling them Whore-Moans because i was just cranky and irritable. And while they made my tumors shrink from their nearly five month gestation size, i had awful smelly discharge and started getting terrible headaches. The upside? my boobs got HUGE! But really, not a great trade-off. i ended up stopping the hormones two weeks prior to surgery, with my doctor’s permission, which initially stopped the headaches for a few days, but then they came back with a vengeance!

So i finally had the surgery. i had a laparoscopic-assisted vaginal hysterectomy, which means they didn’t have to cut my abdomen open other than for four small slits (one in my belly button, two on either side of my belly button, and one in my pubic area) through which to put the laparoscopes. i stayed overnight in the hospital afterward and really my only pain has been my abdominal wall, not my vagina like i expected.

After the surgery, my doctor told my mom (Maximus was really, really sick with an upper respiratory cold with a cough that would have been torturous for me after abdominal surgery; He stayed at my house with a mask on rather than exposing me at the hospital) that it was a really good thing that i’d had the surgery after all, as things had really advanced. Turns out the two tumors grew together and got very large and had to be cut up into tiny pieces to remove, but that i also had endometriosis, a condition where the inside lining of the uterus grows outside of the uterus, and severe scar tissue inside the uterus and outside that had turned into adhesions throughout my abdominal cavity that they had to cut out. i felt vindicated after insisting i have the surgery rather than waiting it out–i KNEW things weren’t right!

My OB-GYN was really puzzled about the scar tissue. Scar tissue like this comes either previous uterine surgeries, which i’ve not had, or severe uterine infections, which he was not aware i had. i’m not aware of any uterine infections either. i’ve never had any STIs, that i’m aware of, and the only infections i’ve had are yeast infections. i did have a terrible yeast infection a few years ago with a previous phsyician who refused to treat it with more than the over-the-counter creams that literally burned my vaginal walls. This infection was awful and lasted a month while i argued with that doctor to finally prescribe Diflucan which cleared the infection up within a day! i am certain that was the cause of the scar tissue.

Preliminary results are that the tumors were benign–no cancer! i have a follow-up appointment next week and will get all the pathology reports.

How do i feel? GREAT! i was very sore and on heavy duty narcotics at first, but have been getting better day by day. i’m minimally sore now, off all pain meds, and have started going for walks. i’m still off work for a bit and then only go back to office work until the end of March. But there’s no bad smell, my belly is almost flat (no more fibroid baby bump), no more headaches, and i can stay up until midnight!! i have energy back!

And i’m horny–something that completely went away while i was sick. Maximus has been oh so patient during the longest streak of celibacy in His life! His hand is getting A LOT of action these days! i am required to have 8 weeks of pelvic rest which means no sex, nothing inside my vagina. i had to remove my clitoral hood piercing for the surgery and finally got it back in the other evening, which got me really aroused and led to clit masterbation and a couple of orgasms :o). i am glad that i am feeling sexual again and really glad there was no pain and just some spot bleeding from my masterbation adventure.

Maximus has been making a list of all the fantasies He’s had during this hiatus–i better get my strength up! In all seriousness though, He really has been remarkable during my illness. He recognized early on that i was just not well, something that troubled both of us, and was patient with me. He’s taken care of me during the times i’ve been very ill and after my surgery. And He’s surfed the tides of my mood swings and sometimes wrath. i am so fortunate to have such a caring, understanding, and steadfast partner. How did i ever get so lucky?

So, sorry i’ve been gone. i’ve just not felt well at all, was full of Whore-Moans and not nice, and just too exhausted to write. This is better for you, the reader, as i would have moaned you all away forever with my bitchiness!

It’s been hysterical!

Categories: Fibroid Tumors, Hysterectomy, Uterine Fibroid Tumors | 4 Comments

Hot Fucking Mess


i apologize for being gone so long. i’m fine, well, i should say we’re fine.

Right before my Ironman i started to feel run down. i blamed it on Ironman burnout, a year of training taking over my life. i just wanted to get this thing done and over with. my training sessions sucked, my mental focus was off, and i was just tired. To psych myself back up i signed up for a half Ironman next spring in Hawaii where Maximus and i went last year and found our beach. That seemed to help, even though my last long run before my race was fraught with severe abdominal pain at mile 11 and required walking with pain the last 7 miles; i’d never had abdominal pain on a run like this before, but figured i’d done something wrong with my nutrition or hydration.

my race was ok. my swim was great, but i had no energy on the bike. In fact, i didn’t make the time cutoff. But, nearly 50% of the racers didn’t as the bike course had changed into the “hardest ironman in history,” which wasn’t something most of us had signed up for. But i was in great spirits about it–i’d still competed and had a great time.

But i never got my energy back. It was cause for celebration if i could stay up to 9 o’clock. Maximus got a cold too, and He was whooped. We transitioned into vanilla “married” sex and even had nights where we didn’t have sex at all! Well, i would put His cock in my mouth for literally 10 seconds and we’d count that as having sex for that day as not to have a blank day on the calendar. It was sad, but we both felt run down.

But we were boImageth looking forward to a planned trip to Paris, France! We’d have a week together in our little French apartment we rented and would be renewed, play, re-energize our sex life in that romantic city. i packed comfy, Euro clothes so i’d be comfortable on the long plane trip, but also because i’d gained weight and size in my low-energy, no-workout state. i was really irritated when i found i was too big to wear the dress i’d worn just a month prior on GOT day, which was really fairly loose then. i kicked myself for letting myself go and vowed to get to crackin’ on returning to my athletic self.

i knew Paris was going to be a challenge to my vegan diet. i ate vegan whenever i could, but ended up vegetarian a lot due to how much dairy the French use. i had fish a couple of times too. i ended up feeling bloated and constipated and felt i smelled “cheesy.”

We did have a marvelous time in Paris, though! Our apartment was perfect, located in the fashion district by the Louvre and next to the St. Roch Church. Incidentally, we discovered that Marquis de Sade was married in that church–how ironic was that!!

We put a lock of love on the Passerelle des Arts and tossed the keys into the Seine:

ImageAnd Maximus got me a pair of Christian Louboutin red-bottomed shoes from his original boutique on St. Honore to celebrate our 100 Imagedays without a raging episode–a celebration for both of us, not just me.

But i never felt awesome. We returned home and went swimming a couple of times, which was absolutely awful for me–i never shared with Maximus just how awful i felt about it. First of all, i had a belly, which i’d never had before, and i was horribly embarrassed in my normal two piece athletic training suit i always wear. A, secondly, i had no energy. i wanted to bawl the whole time. The first day we did 45 minutes and i used the kick board a little bit. The second time, i had to use the kick board over half the time and could only do 30 minutes. Boy was i out of shape!

i got home and back to work, still feeling blah. i could not even run on the treadmill, felt tired and bloated. i wasn’t really constipated anymore, but felt bloated even though i was back to my normal diet. What was worse was that my uniform pants hardly fit me, they were so tight! They had fit before i left for Paris. We’d run in a 10K race and walked 40 miles on our trip, so any food shouldn’t have accounted for such an increase in my girth. i was so disappointed in myself, again.

And then i got horrible abdominal pain. i spent a day in bed, body aches, skin hurt, figured i had a virus. Then it went away, but returned when i was at work. i ended up taking sick leave and heading straight to the ER. They started working me up for appendicitis but then during a routine pelvis exam, found my uterus very enlarged and so painful that it nearly sent me off the table! Ultrasound revealed two large fibroid tumors, equivalent to 15 week-old twin fetuses, which had evidently grown very quickly.

After morphine and fluids, i was sent home with pain meds, anti-nausea meds, and stool softeners, to wait for an OB-GYN surgical consult for a hysterectomy. Family and friends came to help. The pain has been awful, i’ve been constipated and then had horrible diarrhea, and vomiting too. My consult was with my normal OB-GYN who had done a pelvic exam on me just 3 months ago after he’d inserted my new IUD–he knew my uterus had been normal then. Turns out, the tumors do not appear cancerous (yay!) but in their rapid growth have pulled my IUD and strings completely inside my uterus, but not perforated it. i also have a burst ovarian cyst we didn’t know i’d had. There’s no reason for me to be constipated, and i’m not showing that way on radiological exams, and no reason for me to have a huge spike in white blood count. Because of these things and my “angry” abdominal cavity, my doctor wants to wait a week for my abdomen to settle down before doing a laparoscopic hysterectomy, as he fears that my recovery and outcome would be less successful with things so upset. It’s not like i need an emergency hysterectomy today, but really soon. So i’m on a clear fluid diet, weaning off pain meds to lessen constipation risk, on birth control pills to quiet down my uterus and ovaries for a week. Then i’ll go back in to recheck and hopefully schedule the operation.

Poor Maximus has been traveling for work all this time too, feeling awful that He couldn’t be here. But He’s here now, helping me while i work to quiet down my angry abdomen. And, that seems to be His specialty, helping me quiet down my angry body.

i asked Him to do a rectal and pelvic exam on me, gently, because He really is the expert on my anatomy. And, because we’d just had some great sex with a mindblowing orgasm while He nearly fisted my vagina two days before this pain started. He had wanted anal at that same time, but i said i just felt so bloated that i asked if He could not do that, which He complied. Well, when He put two fingers into my vagina He shouted, “Holy Fuck!” my uterus is so swollen that it has pushed my cervix to within an inch of my vaginal opening, nearly prolapsed. And He just couldn’t believe how big and painful my uterus is. my rectum isn’t blocked by my uterus, which it feels like to me, but He can feel my cervix pressing into it. He’s just amazed at the rapid change.

So that’s were we are, folks. Maximus asked me to blog, knowing that i have been just too exhausted the past couple of months to do it. i’m not working, not doing anything but resting right now, so i can use the energy i do have to catch you up and blog about this as things progress. Hopefully you don’t mind a sexless blog for a couple of months as i’m totally out of that realm for a while!

Maximus is calling me His “Hot Fucking Mess” now.

Categories: BDSM relationship, birth control, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, Fibroid Tumors, Hysterectomy, Uterine Fibroid Tumors | Leave a comment

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