discipline

Under the Bus

Day 3 at Desire….ahhhhhh!

It’s so nice to see all of our friends again. And it’s great to be back with the subs and our banter/comradarie/bus throwing! Get a sub “volunteered” for some type of service/punishment/funishment/activity for a Dom and you have thrown a subbie under the bus.  

But it’s a nice bus! ~ Shara

Throwing a sub under the bus is a grand sport and this year we have embraced it with vigor! 

We have bus socks: 

And little bus tattoos that you earn by successfully throwing a sub under the bus…like football helmet hash marks earned for awesome tackles. 


Happy happy!

Categories: BDSM relationship, D/s, Desire, discipline, Dom/sub, J.V. and Shara | Leave a comment

Munch Better!

just-right

Maximus and i went to a new munch last night, actually more of a discussion group with a potluck, and it was PERFECT for us! It actually was a combined meeting of two different groups, one a Dominants-only group and the other a submissives-only group. These groups usually meet separately, but they joined up for a combined holiday potluck and then went to separate buildings for their respective discussion groups.

We both loved this group. First, it had the social mixer we were looking for, but second, and most importantly, we really identified with these groups and met some wonderful and helpful people. We have reached out to several people on FetLife and are making plans to meet with them and to go to the group meetings and other events.

It sparked some great discussion on the car ride afterward, which Maximus wanted to continue when we got home. Maximus actually asked that we have Happy Half at 10 PM to go over His thoughts. Maximus shared that with that night’s meeting He realized that He has not been as vigilant and Dominant as He should be and that i have really been asking for. He said that He could see that many of the issues we have had over the past years and recently have been due to His lack of clear direction and communication. It surprised Him because it is not like He is in business, which i have brought up on several occasions, in that He is very clear and decisive with work. And, that because He has relied on (instructed) me to do the primary research into D/s and BDSM, it really has done us a disservice–and i really have to agree with Him here. He recognizes that He really needs to do the Dominant work and that it has been unfair to expect me to fill Him in on the details.

To correct this, i have uploaded all the books i have downloaded and read onto His Kindle. He will read a book a month and we will discuss what He’s read during my training days and/or Happy Halfs. He will be enforcing our rules, which He has been remiss at doing. And He will be attending the Dominants group and working on developing a mentoring relationship with one of the other Doms at this group.

i am actually thrilled about this. It’s been uncomfortable for me to be the lead in the D/s research and development and i have felt it flipped our roles at times. And i have found myself feeling embarrassed some times when we are with other people and there is a mismatch between our (Maximus and me) knowledge levels. i really want the discipline from Him and sometimes i think i act out just to push–i’d rather not do that. So it was a wonderful experience and something we really needed.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM, D/s, discipline, Dom/sub, munch, relationship needs | Tags: | Leave a comment

Thinking Back Inside the Box


Maximus and i had a good discussion last night about the excessive shoe purchases last weekend and He is allowing me to return the Christian Louboutin shoes. He’ll take them back Friday. It really bothered me and i have felt extremely guilty about them. 

He did make sure i understood that i need to be more careful in the future about trying things on in His presence, because His inclination is to reward me with things i like. i think this includes more than just shoes and material things. Lesson learned. 

Categories: BDSM relationship, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, discipline, submissive housewife | Leave a comment

Training Day

training

This week i had my first training session since our break. Maximus has a binder of training materials, but i can’t share the references with you as Maximus has not shared the sources with me–specifically (probably because He knows i will work ahead and not at His intended pace).

Maximus collared me for our session and we sat in the living room for my training. There were several parts: List my strengths as a submissive; my weaknesses; my interpersonal skills; and miscellaneous issues.

my Strengths as a submissive

Maximus had me list my strengths (strengths as His submissive) and then He added what He felt i missed (His are listed in red).

  • Organized
  • Educated (Masters degree)
  • Good upbringing in manners and etiquette
  • Good cook
  • Homemaker
  • Self-confident
  • Have a serviceheart
  • Computer literate
  • Swinger
  • Love sex
  • Adventurous
  • Empathetic
  • Confidential
  • Respectful
  • Excellent upbringing in manners and etiquette
  • Excellent cook
  • Bisexual
  • Professional
  • Health-focused
  • Disciplined
  • Dedicated
  • Attractive
  • Feminine
  • Nontraditional skill sets (such as woodworking, construction, etc.)
  • Don’t hesitate or avoid tasks
  • Excellent listener
  • Strong
  • Forceful
  • Articulate
  • Artistic
  • Follow-through (timely)
  • Amazing writer
  • Anticipatory

my Weaknesses as a submissive

Then Maximus had me list my weaknesses (weaknesses as His submissive) and then He added what He felt i missed (His are listed in red). This was not as much fun to do as strengths!

  • Impatient
  • Stubborn
  • Hot-headed
  • Perfectionist
  • High expectations
  • Independent
  • Beat myself up
  • Tendency to deny oneself of the finer things as if undeserving

my Interpersonal Skills

These are the strengths and weaknesses i have in interacting with others.

Strengths:

  • Confident
  • Can communicate well
  • Public speaker
  • Friendly
  • Respect personal differences
  • Open
  • Funny
  • Non-judgmental

Weaknesses:

  • Introverted
  • Group situations exhaust me
  • Prefer a couple of really close friends rather than a bunch
  • Feeling i’m not good enough/pretty enough to approach/interact with some people

Miscellaneous Issues

Maximus instructed me to use my safewords (yellow and red) to indicate when i am struggling with a weakness during our interactions so that He clearly knows where my limits are during those times. i am required to do this to avoid raising my voice or getting angry with Him. i have done this a couple of times and it has been very helpful for us, particularly when i feel i have not been given a chance to answer His questions before He asks other ones or addresses His concerns prior to me answering.

i have gotten out of the habit of addressing Him as Sir. i need to do this when we are home and in private.

i need to learn that i do deserve the finer things. i am not to balk or question why when He gives me gifts. When instructed to purchase a specific item or service for myself, i am to do it unquestionably, with the vendor He has selected, unless we have had an agreement otherwise based upon value.

Over the past months i have refused sex at times. He allowed this when i was sick, but now that i am recovered, this must stop. i have a contractual obligation for sexual performance and must follow it.

Categories: 24/7, communication, discipline, Dom/sub, M/s, training | Leave a comment

Uncomfort…

i’m a little taken aback, had a little earthquake. i thought we were on the same path.

i worry now that perhaps i was wrong in thinking that. am waiting for His call to talk about it.

He is traveling for business, two timezones away, and texted me this morning to visit. i shared with Him news one of our swinging lifestyle couple friends, the male half of which (let’s call him Mountain man) texted me last night and we visited about our weekends and getting together again soon. This is a couple we’ve played with together and separately and have very much enjoyed. It is also a couple that He has mentioned getting together with so He can learn rope bondage technique from, so not a couple that won’t be aware of our new adventure into BDSM.

Mountain man was very excited to share about his experience this weekend, flogging another female playmate. He also had some specific requests for the next time i would be with him and his mate (let’s call her Sunflower). Specifically, he wanted me to peg him wearing a strap-on while he fucked Sunflower and inquired if He (my Dom) would like to watch it, to which i replied, “Of course! And He’ll probably want to touch and play with Sunflower and me as well.” He went on to say that he and Sunflower were starting to explore their “kinkier side.” Remembering our plans to get together with this couple for rope bondage, i mentioned to him that i’d been flogged this weekend as well, having been a good girl, and that we were doing the same, working on our contract and had gone through my sub list. He wanted to know more, wanted to know my limits, etc, but my Dom and i had not talked about sharing that and i said i needed to talk to Him before sharing anything further.

i texted Him about this, to which He replied, “Need to be careful don’t want to get ahead of ourselves.” Oh…my heart dropped immediately into my stomach.

“What do you mean about getting ahead of ourselves?” i carefully asked.

“Poor choice of words. Brain moving too fast for fingers,” He texted.

i was still rocked and really needed to know what this was. “Ok. Rephrase so i understand?”

“you and I need to finish our contract so we are perfectly aligned. That’s what I meant,” He replied.

i had finished revising our contract before He came this past weekend, but we ran out of time to go over it. i’d sent Him a version prior. We’d talked a lot about everything, i thought, including going over my sub list, so i thought we WERE on the same alignment. Now i’m nervous. Has something changed?

i sent Him a copy of the contract, and then a revision later after i realized the sub list wasn’t in it and there were some edits to make based on our weekend’s conversations.

He did text that He couldn’t wait to Skype later.

i’m trying to be hopeful. What if we aren’t aligned? What if we can’t negotiate the contract? i thought we’d started already this weekend and that the contract was, in essence, agreed upon. What if there is a dealbreaker in our negotiation and we cannot come to terms with it? i’ve already given myself completely to Him, body, soul, and heart, based on this assumption. What happens to our relationship if we cannot agree now?

Clearly i am lacking some patience and discipline.

Categories: BDSM, BDSM contract, BDSM list, D/s, discipline, Dom/sub, Dominant, patience, sub list, submissive | Leave a comment

First Flogging

     We were concluding our discussion on our intentions, desires, fears, deepest demons on entering into our Dom-sub adventure together.
     “You’ve been a good girl, g. Stand.”
     As i stood from the couch He walked away to the black Coach bag embroidered with Fun Stuff in hot pink on the side.
     “Take off your shirt and bra, drop your jeans, and bend over the couch.” i obeyed, quickly shedding my clothing as directed. i was glad i had put on my new white panties with the sheer white lace backside that framed my ass so well and gave a peekaboo, see-through view. He’d not seen them before.
     “Oh, nice,” He cooed as he ran his hand over my ass cheeks and the lace. I stretched my arms out in front of me on the couch, prostrate, offering myself completely to Him. A quick slap to my left buttock sent shivers up my spine and jellied my knees. My swollen pussy, aroused with our conversation, pulsed, adding moisture to my already soaked panties.
     i feel His fingers at my hips tugging at my panties, pulling them down and shimmying them to my ankles. “Wider,” he instructed, guiding me to step wider, exposing my throbbing wet sex. “Oh, nice, goosebumps.”
     “You’re so wet,” as he slides first one finger, then a second into my wetness. He pulses His fingers into my G spot, my breath staggers, my arms push even more forward ahead of me, sending my ass upward. i’m on the edge of orgasm, about to squirt, and He stops, pulling His fingers out of my pussy to my face, “Taste.” His fingers are slick with my juices, thick and sweet, as they enter my mouth as they first entered my pussy, first one finger, then a second. Oh God, i taste good, sweet with wanting. i’ve been waiting for Him.
     i feel the flat leather lashes of the flogger trail slowly over my skin as He pulls it across my ass. He does this several times in both directions. i’m quaking. He then drags them upward from the back of my thighs up onto my ass, both sides, and finally, over my wet slit. “Oh, ” i moan.
     The flogger pulls away and i feel lashes adhered to my sex by my wetness, pulling me as they are removed from my body–it’s heaven. Then the lashes strike my buttocks, slapping, gentle, increasing in intensity. They move to vertical and hit my pussy, my clit. “Oh my God!” I drag my fingernails across the ridged upholstery. It repeats, varies, sticks to the juices running down my legs. His other hand rubs down my spine.
     He stops and i gasp. His fingers thrust into me, pounding my G, bringing me to the edge and pull away. His tongue replaces them, lapping my wetness, taking me nearly there and leaving. He grasps a handful of my long dark curly hair just above the nape of my neck and tightens his grip, pulling my head back, causing my mouth to open and kisses me forcefully, sharing His sweet mouthful. i suck his tongue. My breathing is erratic, my chest heaves, my body electric.
     His hands release my hair and rub down my spine once more and flogging again commences. More forceful. “Oh, yes.” i hear him exclaim. i feel his erection through his jeans as he presses himself against my hip. His fingers enter me again, taking me to the edge but not over.
     “Suck me.”
     i push myself up off the couch and kneel in front of Him and pull down his jeans that He’d unzipped, freeing his erection. He is hot, throbbing. i pull Him into my mouth and suck, swirling my tongue around His swollen head, teasing the triangle of skin at the sulcus that i know drives Him wild. His precum coats my tongue, slippery and wonderful. “Yes, play with my balls,” he breathes, and i take them into my mouth, one at a time, rubbing his cock with my hands, and eventually taking both in. i return to his cock and take Him deep into my throat, letting it gag me, knowing how much He loves to hear and feel me gag on Him.
     He pushes me back over the couch and i wonder if He will fuck me. His fingers run up from my pussy, His hand slaps my ass. “Ok. My God!” and He steps back, pulling His jeans up.
     i am breathless, quivering, ignited hearing His pleasure. We have a swingers party to go to in just over an hour. i can feel His want, love His denial for us both. He helps me up and kisses me. He asks me how it was and i am speechless, out of breath, i cannot form words as i try to describe the ecstasy of pleasing Him. He holds me up and i am adored, as i whisper, “unbelievably awesome.”

Categories: BDSM, D/s, discipline, Dom/sub, Dominant, flogging, submissive | Leave a comment

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