Under the Bus

Day 3 at Desire….ahhhhhh!

It’s so nice to see all of our friends again. And it’s great to be back with the subs and our banter/comradarie/bus throwing! Get a sub “volunteered” for some type of service/punishment/funishment/activity for a Dom and you have thrown a subbie under the bus.  

But it’s a nice bus! ~ Shara

Throwing a sub under the bus is a grand sport and this year we have embraced it with vigor! 

We have bus socks: 

And little bus tattoos that you earn by successfully throwing a sub under the bus…like football helmet hash marks earned for awesome tackles. 

Happy happy!

Categories: BDSM relationship, D/s, Desire, discipline, Dom/sub, J.V. and Shara | Leave a comment

Desire 2017

Well we’re back at Desire for our 4th Life on the Swingset takeover. Shenanigans shall ensue!

We took a red eye last night and arrived at 6:30 am, which was awesome! Slept on the plane, no one in line in passport or customs when we arrived, and were on the beach a hour and a half later! Our room was even ready! So happy!


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Packing for Desire


i started this post last year after going to Desire with the Swingset group, but i never finished it. i used it when i was getting us packed for our trip this year and decided that it needed to be published as it was extremely helpful.


Packing List


  • Avon Skin-So-Soft insect repellent (i use two kinds, Bug Guard Plus Picaridin and Bug Guard Plus IR3535 Expedition)
  • 98% DEET
  • Benadryl capsules
  • Benadryl cream
  • Aloe with lidocaine
  • Citronella bracelets
  • TUMS
  • Immodium
  • Sudafed
  • Preparation H Totables (sometimes anal play causes some issues for me)
  • Throat lozenges/cough drops
  • Glide (anti-chafe balm you can find at triathlon and running shops)
  • Hanging toiletries organizer as bathroom has poor storage
  • Sunscreen
  • Allergy eye drops
  • Shampoo and other hair products (anti-friz!)
  • Face toner for under makeup to keep it from melting off in the heat!


  • More short sleeved shirts for Maximus
  • Organize costumes by theme nights in gallon-size zip-lock bags (works awesome for keeping everything organized)
  • Lots of stilettos!
  • Nice jeans for Maximus for dinners
  • Lots of swimming bikinis to wear when we walk the beach or to lunch
  • Beachwear coverups
  • Sun hat
  • No slacks
  • No underwear for Maximus, despite His protests–He never wears them other than those for costume nights
  • No shorts or T-shirts–we always think we might wear them, but we never do
  • No tennis shoes


  • Condoms, lube
  • Contact cards with our picture, names, and contact info
  • Body chains
  • Vegan cards for the dining rooms
  • Light tote bag to take things to the beach, hot tub area
  • Extension cords
  • Power Strip
  • BDSM toys, collar, cuffs, etc
  • Lanyards for room keys
  • Name necklaces from previous years
  • Book, kindle
  • External battery supply for electronics to take to beach bed
  • Charging cords for all electronic devices
  • External mouse for Maximus as His mousepad on His mac always malfunctions in the humidity
  • Soft flip flops
  • Small flashlights (power went out one year and they do not have flashlights in the rooms)
  • Safety pins, tape for costume emergencies
  • Tide single sink wash packets
  • Glow sticks/glow bracelet packs
  • Black light body paints
  • Snacks for room (dry soup mixes, Lara Bars, oatmeal, etc., chocolate)
  • Don’t bring jambox, never use it
  • Don’t need international calling plan, turn cellular off on iPhones, use WiFi for texting and calling
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Desire’s First Dungeon!

Photo by @DylantheThomas

Wednesday night was a first at Desire–they hosted a dungeon for the kinksters here at the Swingset takeover. The staff actually made some fabulous apparatus from plans provided by J.V. and Shara: a cross, spanking bench, and kneeling bench. It was wonderful to have a place for our kink.

Maximus had me dress in a net dress that has cut-outs for each breast, my cuffs and collar, the black iridescent ultra high heels He surprised me with several years ago, and the slutty makeup He loves (lots of black eyeliner/mascara and red lipstick).

We arrived early into the Dungeon hours as we were concerned we wouldn’t get in! i didn’t have a lot of time to check out the dungeon before Maximus blindfolded me, but i do recall people draping the cross with towels for a scene. The play space was cordoned off for spectators and there were several couples standing and seated to watch.

Maximus led me over to a sheet-covered, cushioned, flat platform and applied my leather blindfold. i really appreciated being blindfolded so i wouldn’t be distracted by onlookers or other play adjacent to us in the dungeon. He then pulled my dress up to my waist, spread my legs apart, slid his hand into my dripping pussy, and caused me to squirt. i was so turned on that i ejaculated a huge amount, more than Maximus expected so early, and we were not prepared. i made a huge puddle on the tile floor that Maximus covered with towels. He reset me so i stood spread on the towels, arms extended like a Vitruvian man. He grabbed me and held me tightly against Him, His lips in my ear, one hand in my pussy, instructing me not to cum. It was so hard. He squeezed my nipples, again denying my orgasm. And then release, He returned to my pussy and gave me permission to cum. He did this over and over. All the while i held my arms outstretched to the sides. i’m usually restrained in this position–this was the first time i didn’t have straps or ropes to lean my aching arms into and it took a lot of concentration to maintain.

After some time with this, Maximus moved me to a seated position on the platform, pivoted me and told me to lay on my back with my legs spread/bottoms of my feet together. He applied nipple suction to both breasts and twisted then until they started pulling a vacuum. He whispered in my ear that my right nipple was dripping clear fluid under the pressure and that He was very proud of me.

Next came the crop. He cropped my breasts, first while they were flaccid with the tubes, and then taut while he pulled on the vacuum devices. And then He cropped my mons, pussy, and clit. Again, i was unrestrained, no spreader bar, no thigh cuffs or straps/rope, and was told to keep my legs spread and feet together. Oh that was hard!

Maximus alternated between cropping, tightening the nipple tubes, and making me squirt. He stopped denying my orgasms, whispering roughy in my ear that i may cum freely–and i did, over and over.

i did have to call my yellow safeword a couple of times as my clit and pussy took the edge of the crop flap several times. It was unusual for that to happen.

After this, Maximus did something entirely new. After increasing vacuum on my nipples again, He grabbed both tubes and pulled them away from my body, stretching my breasts out and then pushing them back into me over and over in rapid succession. It was wonderful! He’d do this until i came, give me a rest, and would then repeat. It was thrilling as i was never sure if the tubes would pull off, which can be searingly painful and usually throws me into subspace, but they never pulled off. I did have to call yellow after many rounds of this as it became more aggressive and i felt i might have heart palpitations if it continued any longer. From my medical background i know that you can create an electrical response and dysrhythmias from striking the chest in a procedure called precordial thump, and I felt we were getting too close to that. It did take my breath away, which was an interesting sensation.

Maximus then whispered in my ear that it was time for Him to remove my nipple tubes. He massaged my breast before squeezing it tightly and released vacuum on the tube. After pulling the tube, Maximus squeezed my freed, elongated, purple nipple while i gasped and came. He repeated the other side. He sat me up and let me get my equilibrium before assisting me to standing, but my legs were too wobbly to stay up. i heard one of the other subs who were coordinating the aftercare room come over and check on us, bringing towels for Maximus to wrap me in. Eventually I was able to stand. Maximus kept my blindfolded and led me to the aftercare room.

The aftercare room was colder than i would have liked. It wasn’t the fault of those running the dungeon–the back playroom has been notoriously too cold the last three years Maximus and i have visited it. We’ve never been able to successfully play in there because of the low temperature. Knowing this, Maximus piled on blankets and towels and wrapped Himself around me. He told me how well I’d done, stroked my hair, and helped me drink some water. When He determined I was okay, He went back to the dungeon to collect our things and clean up the space–one of the aftercare subs stayed with me.

When He returned i let Him know i was ready to have the blindfold removed and then my cuffs and collar. He was prepared for me to go sub when removing my cuffs, as i did the other night, but it only made me gasp and curl into Him rather than sending me into subspace.

We talked about the scene and i was surprised it hadn’t gone longer. He said He stopped the scene as when checking my skin temperature it had suddenly dropped. i’d not noticed this and never felt cold.  i think having a shorter scene than we usually do kept me from going sub.

Toys Maximus had me pack.

The aftercare room got too cold for me so Maximus led me out by the dungeon area to leave. We stopped briefly so i could see what was happening and i was thrilled to see all the areas being used and lot of people watching. People came up to thank us for the scene, hug me, and compliment on my smeared makeup (those were people who knew that was a fetish for Maximus). And then Maximus led me out, down the stairs of the disco, and over to the hot tub.

During our debriefing in the hot tub, Maximus noted that He felt the most connected He has ever felt in our kink play in a public space. He said He was able to focus on me rather than be distracted by other things going on in the dungeon or crowd. This was a big thing as He is easily distracted. He did look into the crowd twice, He said, and was entertained by the sight of women holding their own breasts and grimacing in response to what He was doing! He asked about the yellows from me and i shared about the crop edges. Apparently the size of the platform and proximity of the cordon to separate onlookers put Him at a difficult angle rather than squared off to me and that He’d be more aware of that in the future.

Back in our room later, we reveled at my purple nipples and red ring around each aerola before fucking.

The next day someone asked us about the noise from onlookers talking while we were scening. i replied that i never even heard them and only heard orgasms or cries from others in the dungeon once or twice. We were both extremely focused on our scene.

It’s Friday and my nipples are now blotchy red. i’ve loved these marks and how they’ve changed from deep purple to red.

Desire has my vote for a repeat dungeon!

Categories: aftercare, BDSM, BDSM dungeon, breast torture, Desire, Dom/sub, Dungeon Party, J.V. and Shara, nipple clamps, sensory deprivation play, Sex resort, Swingers resort | Leave a comment


As i shared in my very first entry, Becoming gabriella, i have had a history of not protecting my boundaries, especially with men. i’m much better about it now, but something amazing happened here at Desire that i will carry with me forever as a reminder of the importance of defending our boundaries.

As i mentioned in Unexpected Bliss, our neighbor from the room next door started to cross a boundary with me when he barged into our room to grab my tail from the bed to examine it. And i really didn’t do a great job of defending that boundary other than to put my hand on the tail to block him and quietly telling him it was my tail and special to me. It startled me and i ended up basically retreating into the bathroom, leaving Maximus to protect my tail and me.

Then the next day, it happened again, an assault to my boundary, by the same person, and it occurred literally while i writing my post about the tail situation. i was really immersed in my writing, working hard to recall events and the things that Maximus had shared about that night. i was naked, laying on my stomach, typing into my phone when suddenly ice was dropped onto my lower back! i was shocked! And when i immediately rolled to remove this disruptive thing, i saw our neighbor there, who also had a beach bed next to us, laughing and saying, “you two [his wife and me] both have the most adorable dimples in your lower backs that are just screaming for ice!” i looked at him aghast and exclaimed, “please don’t do that again.”

Unfortunately the timing couldn’t have been worse. Maximus had just told me that we needed to go as we had a rendezvous set with a friend and i’d asked for a minute to finish writing what i was working on before we left. So instead of taking the time to talk to this individual about boundaries, we just simply left.

Maximus and i discussed the situation while walking back to our room. Certainly, this person had an issue about not asking for permission before entering someone’s space or touching their things or body. And certainly, someone needed to talk to him about it–and i felt i’d missed opportunities to do that. i really felt we had a responsibility to do that. So we talked about how and when to have that discussion with him.

At first, we thought it would be best for Maximus to talk to him, but the situation never presented itself. The next day, our assigned beach bed was given to another couple and we were moved, making me feel even more anxious about it, thinking that it appeared we had physically separated ourselves from him after the situation. i finally worked up the courage to go over talk to him after rehearsing the conversation, and he was gone.

But last night he appeared in our room again, uninvited, wanting to see what we were going to wear for Steampunk night. And i told him i was glad he was there because i had something i wanted to talk to him about. i shared that it was a difficult thing for me to discuss, but that i felt that my boundaries were crossed with the two events. And i shared that it was important to ask people for permission before entering their space, handing their things, or touching them. i added that i appreciated the fact that he may have seen many people come to our beach bed and enter our space, touch us, and kiss us, etc, seemingly without asking permission, but these were people that we’d had previous discussions about consent, and that those people either had consent for those things or blanket consent from us. Not seeing the prior discussions, we could understand how it might appear we had no boundaries with strangers.

He was very gracious with the conversation, despite my fear that he might become defensive or upset with me/us. He apologized and thanked us for telling him rather than leaving them to wonder why we avoided them, should that had happened. And we thanked him for his response. We felt so much better for talking to him.

And this morning, something wonderful happened. Maximus was sitting on the patio when our neighbor approached and asked if he could share something with Him. He related that last evening he went to a polyamory discussion circle and the group started talking about boundaries and permission. And he shared what had happened with us, that he admittedly had crossed some boundaries with his neighbors (he kept our identities anonymous) and shared how we had graciously talked with him about it and how he learned both about permission and how to have a discussion about boundaries. He used us as an example of how to talk about boundary crossing.

i could not think of a better outcome. We feel so honored to be presented in such a manner and are so happy it was a positive experience for him. And it was a lesson learned for me, that not only is it important for me to defend my boundaries on a personal level, but it is important for others that i protect them as well, and not to be afraid to have the discussion.

Categories: boundaries, Desire, Sex resort, Swingers resort | Leave a comment

Being Vegan at Desire

i’ve been vegan for eight years and Maximus decided to be fully vegan several months ago. We love this way of eating and generally don’t have too many problems finding food to eat when we’re away from home. We travel a lot, including internationally, and we’ve learned how to navigate restaurants and buffets to fit our needs.

Usually we’re the only “weird ones” but this morning i ran into a fellow vegan at the buffet who was having some difficulty finding breakfast items as a first time Desire guest. i shared some tips with her and thought it might be a good topic to blog about in case there are others.

  • First of all, we’re traveling, there’s somewhat of a language barrier, we’re guests in someone else’s country, and not completely in control of how our food is being prepared.  So we do the best we can, don’t want to be rude or pushy, and we totally understand and accept that we may end up eating something that’s not vegan. It’s ok, it’s not going to kill us.
  • When we travel abroad, i make little cards in the language of the country(ies) we are visiting explaining what things we like to avoid eating. You can google them to download and print. V-cards is one, Select Wisely is another. We can simply hand that to a waiter for guidance or they can take it to the kitchen for the chef. We use these at the restaurants at Desire.
  • At breakfast, there is always an amazing array of fresh fruit. I love the papaya and guava! There is an omelette station and i fill a plate of fresh veggies and ask Matildè to sauté them with “no heuvos, no queso” and she’s happy to do that. i do not worry that she’s been cooking eggs and meat on that same grill. You can get warmed corn or flour tortillas to go with it. i also include cooked diced hash brown potatoes from the buffet if they have them. And there’s salsa and hot chili sauce to add that i think is to die for!! (Not for Maximus though!) There are fruit juices, cereals you can have dry or with water/juice, breads, coffee, tea, and jams. They used to have a big pot of cooked oatmeal but it was made with milk. They added a menu item of oatmeal but we haven’t ordered it as we are assuming it’s con leche as well. If we want our typical oatmeal, we always travel with instant oatmeal packets and could ask for hot water to make our own and add toppings from the granola bar.
  • Lunch buffet. There’s always chips and guacamole, steamed veggies, rice, salads. Often there are roasted veggies, pesto, and hummus to make a sandwich with, potatoes, home fries. There is always a salad bar and if you want some of their yummy pizza, simply grab a slice and peel off the cheese and meat toppings.
  • The dinner buffet can be hit or miss sometimes. Usually there is some type of vegan-friendly entree. However there have been times where the pickin’s were slim. In that case we’ve made do with scraping cheese off some veggie dish or picking veggies out of another dish. Usually there are potatoes or rice.
  • The restaurants are great. At the sushi restaurant we’ve had veggie sushi that’s been great. At the Italian restaurant there’s always been a veggie dish we’ve had veganized. Both places we’ve presented the card and they’ve accommodated us beautifully.
  • The post-sex late night bar works too! We order a no-carne, no queso pizza–we usually have to repeat our request multiple times as they are so confused someone would order a pizza without cheese! It comes with sauce and sliced tomatoes and is wonderful! We could get a pineapple only one too, i’m sure, just have not tried ordering that combo.
  • Worst case scenario, we ALWAYS travel with food. We bring Lära bars, Dr. McDougall dry soup mixes in ziplock bags, instant oatmeal, and powdered coconut milk so we always have some food. We take that with us whenever we travel by air.

Fact of the matter–we’ve never starved! Being vegan should not deter anyone from experiencing Desire!

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Life’s a Beach

Wow, it’s been a long time since i posted. No excuses, i just let life pull me around there for a bit. All is well, Maximus and i are great, and as it’s November, life’s a beach at Desire RM in Cancun with the Life on the Swingset group.

i hope to have a few posts done while we’re here and get back into keeping my submissive’s journal up to date again. Maximus has asked me to do this now that life isn’t so hectic.




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Reflections on Desire, Part 3


Kinky Desire

Last year when we went to Desire we didn’t really see much kinky, BDSM play. There was one collared submissive, a latex couple, a demonstration on flogging, but really we got the impression that kinky BDSM play wasn’t really a part of this group. It was fine, we’re happy to be just swingers.

But this year, as we’d been working on defining our M/s, we struggled with going just as swingers. We’d had a long enough break from Total Power Exchange (TPE) and we were looking forward to bringing ourselves back up to speed during this trip. As we talked about what to pack for the trip, however, we just felt we might isolate ourselves if we brought too many BDSM accouterments. We’d run into this before when Maximus had me wear my foxtail butt plug to one of M&S’s swinger parties…it just kind of creeped-out our friends.

So Maximus picked out our toys accordingly. We left my collar and cuffs at home and Maximus instructed me to get one of those elastic stretch tattoo necklaces that i could wear 24/7 to represent my collar. He felt i would be more comfortable with that anyway due to the heat. And we packed our Sportsheets cuffs and tethers. Maximus wanted our small and medium floggers, as well as our crop, as we saw there would be another flogging demonstration. Because we were hosting a sensory deprivation orgy, i packed all of our blindfolds, including my special leather one for me, and our feather on a stick. We had several dildos and vibrators, including two wands, the penis extender (mainly for us in our room as not to freak people out), and my new InJoyUs strapless strap-on because we had some strap-on play last year. We also brought rope and safety shears. The kinkiest toys we packed were my Bejeweled butt plug, clover nipple clamps on a chain, and nipple suction, all important devices for Maximus which He intended to use in our room.

However, shortly after we arrived, we realized there were a lot more kinky people at the Life on the Swingset Desire takeover this year! And we wished we’d brought our kinky toys. Not only were there kinksters, but several more people in D/s or M/s dynamics. This was exciting for us, as we wanted to talk to others about their dynamic and learn from them about their protocols, rules, et cetera. J.V. and Shara of Ending the Sexual Dark Age were there, as well as an M/s couple from California who manage a dungeon. Our friends from the last year, Eagle Scout and Mmmm, who we thought had a D/s dynamic, were actually going to be doing one of the flogging demonstrations with J.V.! Wow, had we underestimated the group this year!

There were several kink events. J.V. and Shara hosted several munches, and quite a few people attended. There was a kinky toy show-and-tell after the vanilla toy show-and-tell, and that was the first time we really realized we had made a mistake in not bringing our kink bag. And then there was the flogging demonstration and a kink salon hosted by J.V. and Shara.

The flogging demonstration was wonderful. J.V. discussed dungeon etiquette, consent, RISK and SSC, and types of floggers. But as soon as i walked in, i could hear jingling rings of collars worn by Mmmm and LodiPet, and my mood immediately dropped–i missed my collar. It was the same reaction i had when i went to Venus in Fur with AwesomeA, that sound triggers something in me. Eagle Scout demonstrated Florentine flogging on Mmmm which was beautiful to watch, and then J.V. flogged Ginger from the Swingset crew.

We did win a raffle prize–a gorgeous leather rose flogger. It really is

beautiful, so much so that i thought it wasn’t one of the options to choose from at the prize table! We’ve not used it yet, but i’m sure it will lead to a journal posting once we do.

Maximus was very interested in learning new flogging techniques from Eagle Scout. We had a great connection with him and Mmmm last year and this year picked right up where we left off. Maximus and i had discussed having Eagle Scout flog me and we’d also discussed this with Mmmm and Eagle Scout, to which they had also expressed interest.

We had a chance to do this at J.V. and Shara’s salon. The four of us were the first to arrive, giving us enough space to do this in their suite. i leaned forward, holding onto a ledge while Eagle Scout performed Florentine flogging while explaining it to Maximus. He offered Maximus an opportunity to try it out, but He’d had a few drinks and did not feel comfortable trying it under that condition. i was surprised, the flogging got fairly intense for me quite quickly. i knew from the demonstration earlier that he wasn’t even close to mid-steam. It seemed like the flogger was hitting in the same places at the lateral ends on my outer thighs, and i had to use my yellow safeword. Eagle Scout was surprised as well, as my skin hadn’t even gotten reddened or warm. After discussing it with Eagle Scout, Maximus and i both realized that we’d not done a lot of work on my backside other than short sequences of flogging, spanking, and the crop. The majority of the work has been on my breasts. Learning this, Eagle Scout did some flogging on my breasts, and while he was concerned about going too strong, it was barely registering on me and i wished he’d done more. Turns out he’d done very little breast flogging and was very nervous about it. i’d like more!

Maximus took me to the bed after the flogging and applied the nipple suction tubes. People were very intrigued. He worked them for about 45 minutes, pulling my nipples over an inch. We walked around and socialized, talked about the nipple suction and the nipple play that Maximus does, including pinching until i orgasm, nipple clamps with and without weights, clothes pins, and striking my clamped breasts with the crop. He removed the tubes, which didn’t have a lot of orgasmic or painful response since they’d not been on too long. Shara brought me over a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders and thanked me for sharing our scene, sharing that she could not have endured such nipple play. i was so surprised. i was truly honored that she thanked me for our scene, i was just humbled by her and her words. Several others, including Mmmm, LodiPet, and Ginger also expressed that they could not imagine such play. i realized that Maximus had succeeded in nipple and breast torture training of me, giving me great endurance. He noted, however, that it was obviously time to do similar training to my backside…

We learned a valuable lesson this year at Desire. We learned how important it is to be our authentic selves. Fear, and really, irrational fear, lead us to not bringing tools that allow us to fully express ourselves, and because of that, we missed out on some things that truly give us pleasure. i missed my collar and cuffs–i am so proud of them and what they represent, and i felt their absence. We will bring our complement of BDSM equipment next year, even if that means checking a third bag. We are among friends, among peers, among fellow kinksters. We are who we are, and although some people may not understand it, there are many who will and many who appreciate authenticity.

Categories: BDSM, breast torture, D/s, Desire, Dom/sub, Ending the Sexual Dark Age, flogging, J.V. and Shara, M/s, Sex resort | 2 Comments

Reflections on Desire, Part 2


A Fantasy Fulfilled

As noted in my last post, we had themes for our Afternoon Orgy parties at Desire. One of the themes, Eyes Wide Shut, was specifically for me. This fantasy was spurred by something i saw the first time i went to a swingers’ club, Club Sesso, in Portland (which is now closed). During that trip, we (my ex-husband and i) encountered a man leading his wife around the club–wearing a man’s blazer, stiletto heels, and blindfolded. He would set her someplace, in our case, the orgy bar, and invite people to come play with her. The stipulation was that no one was supposed to let her know who they were, during or after playing with her. He invited us to play with her, but it was just too uncomfortable for me at that point in my swinging, so i declined, however, One Guy went and played with her tits.

That memory has stuck in my mind for all the years since that night. It disturbed me at first, and for a while afterward. i think the thing that bothered me the most when thinking about myself in that position was that i didn’t actually trust One Guy. i really didn’t. i didn’t trust that he’d make good decisions about the people playing with me or how they played with me.

i encountered another similar situation with Maximus three years ago at Kinkfest. i can’t believe i didn’t write about it in my post, Being Kinky, as it triggered feelings again. In this Dungeon scene, a woman was naked, blindfolded, her arms bound at the wrists and pulled up over her head and tied to a scaffolding. On the scaffolding was a sign asking people to play with her, instructing people to don exam gloves and use lube for any clit or pussy play. Her master was standing near her, watching out for her. Once again, i declined to play, still unsure of how i felt about it, but watched Maximus play a little with her.

These two scenes have rolled around in my head for years. i know i had trust issues. But after being with Maximus and really trusting Him, i became more and more intrigued with the idea. We have done sensory deprivation play together, which i love. i love being blindfolded in scenes and visually not knowing what is coming, using only my hearing. But i really love having my ears plugged while being blindfolded, really not knowing what is coming next and actually hearing a cock slamming into me internally, it’s the craziest, most amazing sound! We’d actually done some sensory deprivation play with Sunflower and Mountain Man, and also at one of M&S’s house parties, but i knew the identities of who was playing with me.

When we were coming up with orgy themes, Maximus and i started talking about including sensory deprivation play. And suddenly, the idea of it really turned me on. i asked if we could have a scene for me where i was blindfolded, ears plugged, Him near as a gatekeeper watching over me, where people, men and women, could come play with me. The catch was that i couldn’t know who they were, during or after, and when they were done, they were to sign their name on my body with markers.

So the day came for the Eyes Wide Shut orgy. i was so turned on. my pussy literally dripped down my legs as we were walking upstairs to the hot tub area! i sat on the bed and Maximus and i reviewed the scene. He asked if there was anything i did not want to happen during the scene and i asked that all cocks needed to be in condoms for intercourse (including His so i could not determine whether it was Him fucking me or someone else), no anal, and no men cumming in my mouth. i also asked Him to use His judgment to decide who had access to play with me. He agreed and said He’d be no more than four feet away at all times. He blindfolded me and i put the earplugs in and laid back on the cool sheets of the hot tub beds.

i laid there for a long time with the breeze gently caressing my body. It worried me that no one was playing with me, no one touching me. i worried that maybe we had set up a scene that was too scary for others. i spent a lot of time in my head worrying about it. i asked Maximus if we were freaking people out and He removed an ear plug and replied, “there is a lot of interest, be patient.” Ah, this scene was about learning to be patient, something i struggle with, and Maximus is helping me to learn.

Finally, i feel hands. They tweeked my nipples, caressed my body. A mouth, lips, tongue, nibbling teeth. And then they were gone. But then, a sensation of cold, wet, scratchy-tickling–the marking pen inscribing my skin! It tickled, i giggled and wiggled! Another mouth, this time kissing me. Fingers on my clit and in my pussy…then a cock fucking me. Another tickling signature. Over and over, mouths and fingers, exploring, pinching, caressing, and then tickling signatures. After the signatures, i felt my legs positioned, opening my pussy toward what i knew was the gawking eyes of those in the hot tub–Maximus was displaying me. No more worrying, no thoughts or concerns about who or what, just reveling in the sensation–the breeze, the touches, the freedom of not having to choose or control. It wasn’t subspace, but freespace, i guess, something just below, being carried on a breeze, fully enjoying sensations, but still present.

i had thoroughly enjoyed myself and it was time to conclude our scene. All of a sudden i got hot and told Maximus i was ready to be done. He sat me up carefully, held me as He removed my earplugs but left my blindfold on. He stood me up and told me to stay holding onto one of the bed posters while He left to get a towel to wrap me in, but my knees were buckling, so i gently knelt onto the ground, still holding onto the poster. He wrapped me in the towel, gave me a sip of water, helped me up, and walked me blindfolded down the many stairs and back up to our room. It was there that He finally removed the blindfold and revealed my marked up body in the mirror:

Wow! There were a lot more signatures than i expected! And, because it tickled so much when people signed, i looked like i’d been attacked by a 6 year-old with markers! i couldn’t read the signatures, had no reference to know who was who.

After some time regaining my composure, Maximus took me back up to the hot tub, this time not blindfolded. He had me wander through the crowded hot tub to feel everyone’s eyes on me. Some people asked about it, about what the ink marks all were about. A lot of those reactions were good, interested, some had seen from a distance but not understood what was going on. Many were friends, and i wondered if they were owners of some of the signatures and were just acting like they had no idea so i wouldn’t know they had played with me. Some were uncomfortable about it, like i had been years ago, so i understood. Some thought it was non-consensual and that had concerned them until i explained the consent process and agreements Maximus and i had made prior. Many others said nothing, gave me odd looks, turned away. It was interesting to me, this range–all the feelings i had felt over the years were being displayed in this hot tub.

Maximus agreed to let me go back to the room and wash off the signatures. The colors ran down my body and swirled onto the floor of the shower. It had been a marvelous scene.

Categories: Desire, Orgy, patience, sensory deprivation play, Sex resort, submissive, Swingers resort, trust | Leave a comment

Reflections on Desire, Part 1


Maximus and i just returned from Desire Rivera Maya after a fantastic week of hedonism and connection. It was our second trip there, again with the Life on the Swingset takeover, which we attended last November. We love this group, and we will be going again next November when the group takes over the ENTIRE resort. Desire feels like coming home. It is so freeing to be ourselves, be naked, dress up in costumes, be sexy, and have fun.

The resort itself is very nice, the grounds kept beautifully, food is super, and the rooms are adequate and what you’d expect for Caribbean Mexico (i’ve stayed in several SCUBA diving resorts and this is much better accommodations than those). Our room this year was just below the hot tub, which we were disappointed about initially, but it proved quite convenient for providing power to the play beds above when we found the only outlet upstairs was dead. We preferred being off to the edge of the resort last year, closer to the beach where we could hear the ocean. And, that room had a glass door and covered front balcony with tables and chairs, so we met more people that way–this room had a solid door down a dark hallway with a private lanai overlooking the entrance to the resort, so we felt rather isolated. We reserved our old room for next year.

This year we hosted the Afternoon Orgy. The Afternoon Orgy came to being last year when by day four we realized despite all the partying and playing we’d done, we’d not had sex–not even with each other! We had met all kinds of wonderful people, partied it up and danced until 3 AM until we collapsed, exhausted in our bed and slept in until late morning. We’d been too tired for sex! So we were having lunch that fourth day with friends, describing our experience, when i said, “Really, we just need to have sex in the afternoon when we’re not so partied out and tired.” Our sexy friends replied, “That sounds great, how ’bout we join you?!” to which we enthusiastic responded, “Yes, let’s make it an orgy!”

The Afternoon Orgy is held at the beautiful covered beds up at the hot tub area–one of the only public places you can have sex unless you have a complete takeover and can adjust some of the rules. You can have sex there or the Sin Room, which is a play room off the disco with a sex swing and Liberator chaises, but the air conditioning can be so cold in there that it’s difficult to play. We love the hot tub beds anyway, they’re just beautiful with white cotton drapes blowing in the Caribbean breeze, music, a bartender, and people coming by going to the hot tub and even joining in!

To make it fun and interesting, we came up with some daily themes for the orgies. Initially, Sparkle and Italian Stallion were going to host with us and helped come up with some of the scenes, but they were unable to attend this year. The themes we had were:

  • Desire Rocks! – Play with PopRocks (well, it sounded like a good idea, but the humidity instantly turned an open package of PopRocks into a congealed mass!)
  • Eyes Wide Shut – Wear a blindfold if you desire for some sensory orgy play
  • “Y”–Not!! – XX chromosome play (girls only!!) — guys, you can watch
  • The Power Hour – We’ll have a power strip or two, bring your power toys!
  • Sex Imitates Art – We brought body paints that glowed under a black light and made the sheets our canvas. It was the Neon Party that night, so people really enjoyed having some glow paint to accessorize their costumes with.
  • Desire Rocks Again – so much that you’ll want to do it again (without the PopRocks!)!

It was super fun! We so enjoyed meeting people who came to the orgies. We had to adjust the times from our initial plans as 1:30 PM was just too hot to play up there and there were a lot of Swingset activities we wanted to attend during that time. It was a lot more work on us than we expected, however, which surprised us. It started as a way for us to have spontaneous afternoon sex, but turned into a scheduled thing. It would be nice to have another couple or two to help coordinate, which was the initial plan with Sparkle and Italian Stallion. A few days we just showed up, set out props, and left! Amazingly, people were waiting for it to start and it was just wonderful to come up later and see all these sexy people having amazing sex!

We’ve already had requests for it to continue next year and some ideas already coming in from others, including a Bi orgy! Who’d of thought our horny-selves would’ve started such a thing!?!–well, i guess for people who know us–nobody’s surprised at all!

My reflections on Desire are going to take more than one post, it appears. So i’m going to break it down into parts.There’s more to come on having a fantasy fulfilled and so much kinkiness that happened this year.

Categories: Desire, Orgy, Sex resort, Swingers resort | Leave a comment

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