No Thanks?


i have been perplexed over the past couple of years over thank you notes. Its not about writing them, its about receiving them, the lack thereof that is. When i was growing up, writing thank you notes was a requirement. my mother would not let us open presents, any presents (Christmas, birthday, etc.), without having a notepad and pen to write down who had given us what, so that we would be prepared to write thank you notes later that day or the next, at the latest. We wrote them out, usually on handmade drawn cards when we were kids, and took them to Mom to go over and mail off. We often dreaded this, but knew it was a requirement, grace and acknowledgement for someone spending the time to get us a gift or do something special for us.

i continue this practice as an adult. To me, its what you do, the right thing, and i don’t even give it a second thought. i have a collection of pretty thank you and blank note cards and sit down right away to write a little note to friends, family, others who have done something nice, such as giving us a gift or inviting us over for dinner or a party, coming up to visit for the weekend, etc. i admit that sometimes i do send an email thank you, if the situation warrants it, such as sending a note on FetLife to thank the host of an event or to others i’ve met and want to thank them for their kindness and future friendship. But generally, i hand write notes, even to my family. i leave them on Maximus’ desk for Him to go over and sign, and then i mail them off.

But i rarely receive any. At most, i get them from wedding/baby showers, but not other gifts given. Why is that? What happened to etiquette? It irks me, and i think, “am i so old that i am doing something completely old-fashioned and out of mode?” i don’t think so.

i did a little research on it and found an article on AARP that said newer generations do not appreciate the thank you note. The same with an article on Good Housekeeping. Those are just two of many. But i just don’t buy into this generation’s thought that we should ignore good etiquette and stop being mindful and appreciative–because that’s what a thank you note is. The Emily Post Institute concurs, thank you notes are just good practice and the right thing to do.

Perhaps we haven’t done a good job at teaching our future generations they why and how of writing thank you notes. The first holiday i had with Maximus where we didn’t receive thank you notes from His kids or grandchildren, i was confused and asked if i had offended them or if they just don’t send thank yous, either in writing or by email. He assured me that they adored their gifts but that thank you notes were not a priority when they were raised–they go on the verbal thank yous when they receive the gifts. But this occurs even if i wasn’t around when they opened the gift, such as when i send a gift with Maximus if He’s off the see the kids or grandkids without me for one reason or another. i didn’t raise them, and i understand there is a difference in how i might have, so i don’t get offended anymore, but i am a wee bit disappointed. It doesn’t deter me from sending them thank you notes for our gifts, however.

So rather than just complaining, i thought i’d share some resources on writing thank you notes, in case someone is struggling with how to do it.

And on that note…


Categories: Class, Etiquette, submissive housewife, Values | Tags: | Leave a comment


stay classy

One of the many things i love about Maximus is His class. i am always so impressed by His level of dignity, how He carries Himself, the manner in which He interacts with people, etc. This is what drew me to Him years ago. This week, i’ve had some interactions with others that have so illustrated how important it is for a Dom to have class and dignity. These things have been rolling through my mind and reiterate just how proud i am to be with Maximus, to be His.

i went out with Awesome A last week. We’d not been out for quite some time. She’s had a series of boyfriends and so her time has been limited by her dating life. She was very excited to get together so she could share about her new boyfriend, RedBeard. Awesome A has just started seeing this man and moved quickly into a committed relationship with him, plastering Facebook with countless pictures of them together, making out in photo booth pictures at fundraising events, etc. It’s been very fast and almost embarrassing to watch. But, she does deserve all the happiness in the world, and this makes her happy–and it is most definitely in response to her ex, Boyscout, who does the same thing online.

We met at a great bar for happy hour before going to a play. The weather was absolutely terrific and i enjoyed dressing for the occasion, in Best oftitanium glass Show fashion, as Maximus prefers. i wore my new short black skirt, a low-cut animal print tank, a pair of amazing animal print strappy stiletto sandals, and topped it off with the gorgeous silver and blue titanium glass pendant Maximus gave me. When i arrived, Awesome A was blown away with my great outfit, amazing shoes, and especially, my necklace. She raved about the necklace and i told her that Maximus had purchased it for me when He noticed how drawn to it i was when we saw it at a gallery. She asked if Maximus had given me the shoes as well, as last time we went out i was wearing a pair of stilettos He had given me (i had purchased this night’s sandals myself).

During happy hour i asked Awesome A to tell me about her new beau. She shared that He was very wealthy, a Chief Operating Officer of the company he was with, and that as it was a publicly traded company, she found out on Google how much money he made annually. She added that with that wealth he was spoiling her like Maximus spoils me, and i was taken aback by this comment as i have never told her, or anyone else for that matter, anything about Maximus’ income bracket. i had shared that Maximus had purchased the shoes and the necklace when she’d complimented them, and she knew He’d taken me on some trips to Las Vegas and Kona, but i’ve never bragged about any of this.

Awesome A texted constantly with RedBeard throughout happy hour–to the point of annoyance! She spontaneously shared many of the messages he’d sent. At one point she started laughing and told me that she had told RedBeard that i had a rich boyfriend that spoiled me just she he was spoiling her and he had replied, “i’m standing in front of Tiffany’s right now. What do i need to buy to outdo her boyfriend?” Well i was just disgusted by that statement! It wasn’t that i was upset thinking that my friend would get more things than me, things don’t matter, it was that this guy appeared to be intimidated by her friend having a boyfriend who he thought was outdoing him and was turning this into a competition! As i sat there, i realized how low-class that was, that Maximus would never do or say anything like that in a million years, that He had more class in His little finger than this man had in his entire body.

To change the subject, i asked whether RedBeard was vanilla or kinky, and she said he had only had one-on-one sex, but that it was pornstar quality. i asked if she was going to share her non-vanilla sexual history with him, including our encounter, and she said she’d shared some spicy details with him but not too much detail.

On the way home from our evening i talked to Maximus and shared what had happened. He, too, found RedBeard’s comments disappointing.

i finally met RedBeard in person this weekend at a race. Awesome A showed up with Him and introduced us. He came forward to give me a hug, which was fine, i’m a hugger, so that didn’t bother me. But when He hugged me, He rubbed His chest back and forth against my breasts, very obviously and gave me a full-on kiss on the mouth! He did this in front of a whole bunch of friends of both Awesome A’s and mine, which was awkward. Later, i shared what happened with Maximus and he thought that was a douche-move. i told Maximus that perhaps Awesome A had told him about our encounters and it was his way of showing interest about that. Maximus, however, shared that He has intimate knowledge of what Awesome A and i have done as He was on speakerphone during much of it; and despite all that, when He met her for the first time, He gave her a simple hug and kiss on the cheek, because it would have been completely inappropriate, as a gentleman, to do anything other than that.

Class–it’s such an important trait of a Dom. i appreciate that from Maximus.

Categories: BDSM relationship, Class, Dominant | 1 Comment

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