Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes

Thinking Back Inside the Box

Maximus and i had a good discussion last night about the excessive shoe purchases last weekend and He is allowing me to return the Christian Louboutin shoes. He’ll take them back Friday. It really bothered me and i have felt extremely guilty about them. 

He did make sure i understood that i need to be more careful in the future about trying things on in His presence, because His inclination is to reward me with things i like. i think this includes more than just shoes and material things. Lesson learned. 

Categories: BDSM relationship, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, discipline, submissive housewife | Leave a comment

Rope, Shoes, and Sloppy Blow Jobs

Maximus and i had a fantastic adventure-filled weekend! We had signed up for the Bondage for Sex class, had theatre tickets, and since we had timeshare points expiring at the end of January, decided to have a staycation in downtown Seattle to enjoy these things and do some Christmas shopping. It didn’t start out great, as we discovered we had a flat tire when we got to the hotel, but they put enough air in it for us to drive to a tire shop and dropped the SUV off for overnight and took an Uber to the rope class.

The rope class was wonderful! We got there a little early so i could change from my street clothes. Maximus, being the not-shy person He is, spent the time talking with and getting to know the lead instructor, and by the time i came out of the locker room, had learned all about the instructor’s home dungeon building plans and an open invitation from him to  help us outfit ours! The class was put on by Suspended Animation and they covered:

  • Futomomo. The futomomo (aka the frog tie) is our favorite way to immobilize the legs.
  • Chicken wing arms. Similar to the futo, but for arms.
  • The Somerville Bowline. This is a more advanced version of the basic column tie that we teach in our introductory classes. It takes more skill to tie, but works better and is faster to tie.
  • Chest harness. Because every bottom is better with a handle.
  • Extending rope. Being able to quickly add rope on the fly is tremendously useful.
  • Wrists to ankles. This tremendously versatile and exposed position is infinitely better than the spread eagle.
  • Crab. An excellent general-purpose sex tie.
  • Leg spreader. Super simple and super effective.
  • Face down immobilizer. Need to immobilize your partner, but don’t have anything to tie them to? Not a problem.

We discovered right away that they use a different column tie than Maximus has learned. Their’s is actually easier and Maximus is working on really getting it down. And the Sommerville Bowline is really cool and super useful for creating a usable loop for tie-downs. But Maximus’ favorite part was the chest harness. He has worked on this tie before, but He learned some things that helped Him really turn my breasts into “cupcakes,” as He calls it. i have to admit, this chest harness tie was very effective and i see Maximus using it a lot.

We learned about some more rope resources in Seattle. First is the Seattle Rope Studio, which is a group of rope instructors that hold rope dojos, among other workshops and classes, for continued practice, for both Tops and bottoms too! Second is Seattle Shibari, which focuses on Japanese Shibari style tying. We are really thrilled about these groups and will be going to a Shibari Dojo that the Seattle Rope Studio is hosting later this month.

After class we returned to our hotel and got checked in and headed out into the city. It was chilly out and as i had packed a warm scarf for Maximus, He commented over and over, “Have I told you how glad I am that you packed this scarf?” We went out for sushi at a new place and it was pretty good. We talked a lot about the class and us. Maximus shared that no one has ever made sure He was taken care of like i do (example, the scarf) and how honored He is that i am His submissive. That made me feel so good!

Afterward we walked all over and shopped and window shopped. We did get one Christmas gift, but we ended up shopping for us more! First, we found, in one of my favorite downtown shops, some beautiful tall champagne columns like the juice glasses that we’ve been coveting at Desire. And what’s awesome is that they are cut with little fish all over them, which Maximus the swimmer adores. i love the little note they have inside the box with them:

Every now and again we all swim against the current. With this artfully depicted school of fish design, beautifully etched and polished fish swim together, except for one little guy headed in the opposite direction. A delightful nod to the individuality and the unique spirit inside all of us.

Isn’t that perfect? It matches our lifestyle and really illustrates what we love about Desire, being unique individuals and being free to choose our own direction. Next, well, we ended up at Nordstrom because i wanted a 3/4 to full-length winter dress coat (my old one was, well, old, from high school, and got donated to charity in one of my recent moves). We couldn’t find the coats but ended up in shoes, of course. An hour and a half later…


new platform Christian Louboutin shoes. i tried very hard to talk Him out of it, really i did! i was just having fun trying on all the shoes, like girls/women do, and i was having a ball at that. i never expected Him to buy any of them–i was just playing. Lesson learned for me–Maximus doesn’t play around…

So after dropping off our goods at the hotel, we ended up at a great bar for drinks. The Sounders had just won the MLS Cup and the place was electric. We had lots of discussion about us and had some great text flirting with Desire friends. It was so much fun!

The next day we slept in, had some great sex, picked up the SUV and went out for brunch. Afterward we did some more “Christmas” shopping…which turned out to mean more shoes for me. The night img_1456before, we passed an amazing boutique shoe shop that had shoes that were pieces of artwork in the windows–they were incredible! So we tracked it down so we could take a closer look. The shop is John Fluevog Shoes and he is a shoemaker out of Vancouver, BC. i can hardly begin to tell you how amazing these shoes are! First, they are works of art with amazing designs and colors. They are head-turners and fit both in the vanilla and fetish world. Second, the materials are amazing. Third, they fit me like they were made only for me! i’ve never felt a shoe like this before! We spent two hours in this shop and i tried on shoe after shoe after shoe. In the end, we whittled it down to three pairs… Not kidding, it was hard to do that and neither Maximus nor i could pare it down further than that. i wore the pink ones out of the shop! They are just so feminine and amazing!

The rest of the day/evening was spent watching a horrible Seahawks loss, some work time for Maximus, dinner, and then the theatre. We have season tickets to musical theatre in Seattle and it’s fun because it ensures we get out for special date nights now and again. We had an early night after that as Maximus had to fly out for business in the wee hours of the morning.

i headed home by myself this morning and when i got home and opened the blinds in the back, something was clearly wrong! Two trees had fallen over in the snow and wind storm while we were in Seattle! The ground is just super saturated from all this re


cord-breaking rain and the root balls just pulled out of dirt. The soil is soppy wet, hence the “sloppy blow job” reference. i ended up spending the afternoon with the chainsaw cutting up the trees. It made me remember a boudoir picture i’d not posted before. Note…it was just above freezing today and raining, so i dressed a little more appropriately for the weather than that pic!

So, that’s our staycation weekend in Seattle. More fun things coming up, including a D/s discussion group later in the week.


Categories: breast bondage, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, rope bondage, rope harness, Seattle Rope Studio, Seattle Shibari, Suspended Animation | Leave a comment

Training Day 15NOV16


While we were at Desire, Maximus and i had a lot of discussion about how things were going with our D/s, including needs, wants, where we could improve, what needed changing, etc. It was a great conversation to have because we really had put D/s on the back burner while we dealt with issues regarding a huge neighborhood debacle, searching for a new place, renting out our condo, and then moving into our new home.

i wouldn’t say we stopped our D/s, as we continued our CEO/COO roles (especially as i worked the transition from one home to another), but the sexual/sensual aspect really slowed down, nearly to a halt. We continued to have Happy Half most days in order to catch up with each other and give Maximus a time to wind down, but my training stopped, we didn’t review the contract, Maximus didn’t reinforce rules when i failed to obey them, and we rarely had sex. Frankly, we were both emotionally beat from the neighborhood issues, even to the point where Maximus’ health was affected. At Maximus’ request, after He’d been given a clean bill of health and it was determined that His issues were stress-related, i found Him a kink-aware counselor to help Him manage the stress of the situation. She’s been magnificent! (By the way, here is where i have found kink-aware professionals when we’ve needed them from time to time: National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.)  So it suffices to say that we just didn’t have the capacity to really focus on D/s.

However, i will say, and Maximus is very upfront about this, we were able to stay together throughout an extremely stressful period that could have easily fractured most couples. Not only did we not come apart, we grew closer and stronger because of it. This was something new for both of us. i won’t say we didn’t have any conflict throughout this time, we did, and this is the area where i strayed from my rules, but it was nowhere near what it could have been and certainly was nowhere near any of the conflict we had at the beginning of our D/s relationship.

We both agreed that the first thing we needed to do was to review our contract, to make sure we had a solid foundation, and restart my training, to break the bad habits i had developed over the past year. Initially we planned contract review at Desire, but then felt there would be too many distractions and not enough private space for us to really focus on something so important. It was a good choice.

Maximus asked me to prepare a space for contract review to coincide with Happy Half (i’m not sure i’ve gone into detail about Happy Half other than a notation in a post about a prior contract review, so i’ll make sure to go into detail about this in a future entry). He also instructed me to prepare our bedroom for a scene after training was completed, including waterproofing our mattress, ensuring bed restraints were accessible, and assembling cuffs, spring links, spreader bars, clover nipple clamps, two Hitachi wands, img_1226gags, blindfold, crop, and lube. i happily went off to do this and returned to Him naked, wearing only my Christian Louboutin heels He bought for me in Paris, to let Him know the tasks had been completed. He’d initially planned to start our training in an hour an a half, but appearing naked, He immediately moved up our training time! (Note: One of the things that Maximus has requested since i moved in two years ago was that i spend as much time as practical being naked and clad in stilettos. But because we lived in a condo adjacent to a community pond and dealing with neighborhood issues, i was not comfortable in doing this. Our new home affords us much more privacy and upon returning from Desire, where we were naked most of the time, i have been more able to comply with Maximus’ direction). i prepared a bottle of champagne and two flutes, two copies of our contract, pens, and my collar, which Maximus secured upon the commencement of my training.

We had great discussion while reviewing our contract. First, we had to update our address! He commended me on remembering to address Him as Sir or Maximus, after He’d corrected me when i had failed to do so in a Tweet prior to our trip to Desire.

tweet-and-textWe discussed finding a community here like we have with the Swingset group at Desire and how to go about doing that. i was tasked with updating our Fetlife profiles and finding munches/classes to go to in order to meet like-minded others. And tasked with re-establishing contacts in swinging as well. We talked about the troubles we’d had in finding others in BDSM in the past (mostly trepidation on our part) and that we just needed to “get over ourselves” and do it. This led into going over how we play with others, my ownership and His dedication to me. i will not be given away as property to another Dom/me, rather loaned to serve/play in a scene as He is comfortable with at His will, with my ability to request; and that He will not take on other submissives or become submissive to another. And we had quite a discussion on polyamory, which i will discuss in another posting (we are not polyamorous).

Maximus was very pleased that i was spending more time naked while at home. We discussed the parameters of this and that i was to be naked as much as practical, that is, if i am working on projects that require me to go in and out of the house, have multiple errands during the day, guests scheduled, or doing something that it is safer to be clothed, i do not have to go in and out of a clothed state–i am to wear clothing as not to interfere with getting my tasks done in those cases. An apron, sexy lingerie, silky robe may be worn and while stilettos are His preferred choice of footwear for me, He understands that this can be an issue going up and down our hardwood stairs all day. His preference is that i am in stilettos for Happy Half when i am naked. And i was instructed to find a wrap-around dress that i can keep by the front door and quickly don should i need to answer the door, as it would not be appropriate for me to answer the door in a silky bathrobe.

We deferred going through my BDSM checklist until our next training as our review had already taken an hour and a half.

We then had our scene. Maximus led me upstairs and i knelt on my kneeling pillow. He applied my cuffs to my wrists, blindfolded me, inserted the ball gag and instructed me to tap my right hand on the bed for my safeword since i would not be able to speak. He then took me to standing, applied the clover nipple clamps, took off my shoes, and positioned me on my back on the bed. my wrists were secured to the bed restraint system, cuffs applied to my ankles, spreader bar secured and restrained spread eagle. Maximus cropped my breasts and clit, fingered me so i squirted over and over. He then brought the spreader bar holding my ankles up to my wrists and secured me, exposing my pussy. Unfortunately, i had squirmed up against the headboard, unbeknownst to Maximus and positioning me this way jammed my head to the side and into my chest, giving me a sensation of choking against my collar. i tried to overcome this feeling, but i had made a mistake in putting two Liberator blankets on the bed over the waterproof sheeting, velvet side up, and i’d gotten really warm because of it, which was causing me to overheat and feel suffocated. i had to tap out and while i tried to stay calm, i got a little anxious because i’d waited too long to safeword. Maximus did a wonderful job of getting my mouth and neck free of the gag ball and collar so i could communicate that i needed to be pulled away from the headboard. Maximus also discovered that my squirming had not only pushed me into the padded leather headboard, but that it had caused the tail end of my collar to come out and bind behind my neck, causing the collar to feel tighter.

i was upset that i’d had to safeword out. i really hate that as i fear that i am disappointing Maximus. And, i was really looking forward to the play while being restrained all-fours on the spreader bar. But Maximus was thrilled with the play we’d had, especially the copious amount of white cum i’d sprayed all over, which was dripping down the headboard!

i don’t know why i used the Liberator blankets over the plastic sheeting. Normally i put it under a fitted cotton bed sheet, which is so much cooler. Mistake from not having a scene for several months. But a great learning experience to apply in future scenes.

Maximus freed me from all the restraints and left the clover clamps to last. It is always excruciating to have those removed! Maximus allowed me to curl into Him as He removed the first one, causing me to scream. He loves to cup and squeeze my breast after He removes the clamps, which make it even more painful–but so, so good! The second one came off the same way. And i had such beautiful bite marks (that itched for days as they healed, a constant reminder of Him)!






Categories: 24/7, BDSM contract, breast torture, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, D/s, nipple clamps, Spreader bar, training | Leave a comment

Hot Fucking Mess


i apologize for being gone so long. i’m fine, well, i should say we’re fine.

Right before my Ironman i started to feel run down. i blamed it on Ironman burnout, a year of training taking over my life. i just wanted to get this thing done and over with. my training sessions sucked, my mental focus was off, and i was just tired. To psych myself back up i signed up for a half Ironman next spring in Hawaii where Maximus and i went last year and found our beach. That seemed to help, even though my last long run before my race was fraught with severe abdominal pain at mile 11 and required walking with pain the last 7 miles; i’d never had abdominal pain on a run like this before, but figured i’d done something wrong with my nutrition or hydration.

my race was ok. my swim was great, but i had no energy on the bike. In fact, i didn’t make the time cutoff. But, nearly 50% of the racers didn’t as the bike course had changed into the “hardest ironman in history,” which wasn’t something most of us had signed up for. But i was in great spirits about it–i’d still competed and had a great time.

But i never got my energy back. It was cause for celebration if i could stay up to 9 o’clock. Maximus got a cold too, and He was whooped. We transitioned into vanilla “married” sex and even had nights where we didn’t have sex at all! Well, i would put His cock in my mouth for literally 10 seconds and we’d count that as having sex for that day as not to have a blank day on the calendar. It was sad, but we both felt run down.

But we were boImageth looking forward to a planned trip to Paris, France! We’d have a week together in our little French apartment we rented and would be renewed, play, re-energize our sex life in that romantic city. i packed comfy, Euro clothes so i’d be comfortable on the long plane trip, but also because i’d gained weight and size in my low-energy, no-workout state. i was really irritated when i found i was too big to wear the dress i’d worn just a month prior on GOT day, which was really fairly loose then. i kicked myself for letting myself go and vowed to get to crackin’ on returning to my athletic self.

i knew Paris was going to be a challenge to my vegan diet. i ate vegan whenever i could, but ended up vegetarian a lot due to how much dairy the French use. i had fish a couple of times too. i ended up feeling bloated and constipated and felt i smelled “cheesy.”

We did have a marvelous time in Paris, though! Our apartment was perfect, located in the fashion district by the Louvre and next to the St. Roch Church. Incidentally, we discovered that Marquis de Sade was married in that church–how ironic was that!!

We put a lock of love on the Passerelle des Arts and tossed the keys into the Seine:

ImageAnd Maximus got me a pair of Christian Louboutin red-bottomed shoes from his original boutique on St. Honore to celebrate our 100 Imagedays without a raging episode–a celebration for both of us, not just me.

But i never felt awesome. We returned home and went swimming a couple of times, which was absolutely awful for me–i never shared with Maximus just how awful i felt about it. First of all, i had a belly, which i’d never had before, and i was horribly embarrassed in my normal two piece athletic training suit i always wear. A, secondly, i had no energy. i wanted to bawl the whole time. The first day we did 45 minutes and i used the kick board a little bit. The second time, i had to use the kick board over half the time and could only do 30 minutes. Boy was i out of shape!

i got home and back to work, still feeling blah. i could not even run on the treadmill, felt tired and bloated. i wasn’t really constipated anymore, but felt bloated even though i was back to my normal diet. What was worse was that my uniform pants hardly fit me, they were so tight! They had fit before i left for Paris. We’d run in a 10K race and walked 40 miles on our trip, so any food shouldn’t have accounted for such an increase in my girth. i was so disappointed in myself, again.

And then i got horrible abdominal pain. i spent a day in bed, body aches, skin hurt, figured i had a virus. Then it went away, but returned when i was at work. i ended up taking sick leave and heading straight to the ER. They started working me up for appendicitis but then during a routine pelvis exam, found my uterus very enlarged and so painful that it nearly sent me off the table! Ultrasound revealed two large fibroid tumors, equivalent to 15 week-old twin fetuses, which had evidently grown very quickly.

After morphine and fluids, i was sent home with pain meds, anti-nausea meds, and stool softeners, to wait for an OB-GYN surgical consult for a hysterectomy. Family and friends came to help. The pain has been awful, i’ve been constipated and then had horrible diarrhea, and vomiting too. My consult was with my normal OB-GYN who had done a pelvic exam on me just 3 months ago after he’d inserted my new IUD–he knew my uterus had been normal then. Turns out, the tumors do not appear cancerous (yay!) but in their rapid growth have pulled my IUD and strings completely inside my uterus, but not perforated it. i also have a burst ovarian cyst we didn’t know i’d had. There’s no reason for me to be constipated, and i’m not showing that way on radiological exams, and no reason for me to have a huge spike in white blood count. Because of these things and my “angry” abdominal cavity, my doctor wants to wait a week for my abdomen to settle down before doing a laparoscopic hysterectomy, as he fears that my recovery and outcome would be less successful with things so upset. It’s not like i need an emergency hysterectomy today, but really soon. So i’m on a clear fluid diet, weaning off pain meds to lessen constipation risk, on birth control pills to quiet down my uterus and ovaries for a week. Then i’ll go back in to recheck and hopefully schedule the operation.

Poor Maximus has been traveling for work all this time too, feeling awful that He couldn’t be here. But He’s here now, helping me while i work to quiet down my angry abdomen. And, that seems to be His specialty, helping me quiet down my angry body.

i asked Him to do a rectal and pelvic exam on me, gently, because He really is the expert on my anatomy. And, because we’d just had some great sex with a mindblowing orgasm while He nearly fisted my vagina two days before this pain started. He had wanted anal at that same time, but i said i just felt so bloated that i asked if He could not do that, which He complied. Well, when He put two fingers into my vagina He shouted, “Holy Fuck!” my uterus is so swollen that it has pushed my cervix to within an inch of my vaginal opening, nearly prolapsed. And He just couldn’t believe how big and painful my uterus is. my rectum isn’t blocked by my uterus, which it feels like to me, but He can feel my cervix pressing into it. He’s just amazed at the rapid change.

So that’s were we are, folks. Maximus asked me to blog, knowing that i have been just too exhausted the past couple of months to do it. i’m not working, not doing anything but resting right now, so i can use the energy i do have to catch you up and blog about this as things progress. Hopefully you don’t mind a sexless blog for a couple of months as i’m totally out of that realm for a while!

Maximus is calling me His “Hot Fucking Mess” now.

Categories: BDSM relationship, birth control, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, Fibroid Tumors, Hysterectomy, Uterine Fibroid Tumors | Leave a comment

Wounded Birds, Don’t be a Douche, Playing Together, and Red Bottoms

Gosh it’s been a while since i blogged! Nothing’s wrong, in fact things are going great! We’ve not had much playtime recently, as the last time i was up with Him, my mom came with, and while the jokes between us about mom are hilarious…there’s NO WAY we’re going there!!

i had a surprise vacation day last weekend so headed back up and Maximus took me to a Seahawks game (He has season tickets). What a blast! i’d never gone to a NFL game before and it was super fun. We’re hoping to do that again.

On the way home from the game, we started talking about Maximus and The Englishman going out the other night and meeting vanilla chicks at a bar. Maximus shared that they had met two women and one hit it off with The Englishman (i knew about this as he texted me about it and i was encouraging The Englishman to pursue it, to start dating again) and that the other woman, a widow whose husband had died six months ago, had given Maximus her email address. He shared that nothing happened, and that in the past He would have encouraged both women to come to His place, having every intention to fuck one of them and setting up the scene for The Englishman to fuck the other one. He then added, “But I didn’t want to do that. Is there something wrong with Me?” i was taken back by this, as we have talked at length about Maximus staying away from vanilla women due to the drama it causes (vanilla women equate sex with love and Maximus fucking them has led to problems with women becoming attached and upset). We started talking about this history, but i was tired and getting irritated that we were going to have this discussion yet again, so didn’t get too deep into it. When we got home, i noticed that this woman’s business card with her personal email address written on it was set out on His buffet when we walked in (Maximus had picked me up at the train station before the game, so i hadn’t been to His house yet), and it frustrated me that He had kept it and had it so prominently displayed, as if to remind Himself to contact her. i asked Him why He still had it if He had no intention of contacting her and why it was set out like that. He mentioned that He’d no intention of contacting her, so i asked Him to dispose of it, shred it, which He did.

We had intended to have some playtime when we got home from the game, since it’d been so long, and i was frustrated that this discussion and finding the card was irritating me so much. i decided it was enough, a discussion for another time; i went upstairs, removed my clothing, knelt at the end of the bed with the crop over my thighs, and took myself into a state of calming submission while i waited for Maximus. It was the right decision.

We had a race early the next morning and things to do before our planned drive back down to my place. i thought about how to bring up this discussion again. i decided that during our drive i would suggest doing some brainstorming on our Relationship Vision assignment from Fern and bring it up then. Interestingly, Maximus brought the topic up when we started our trip!

Wounded Birds

woundedbirdWhen i was processing my feelings and our relationship after the last raging episode, one of the things i thought about was how Maximus responds to attention from women–it’s like a drug, an endorphin rush. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t despise this, it’s something i’ve known about Maximus all along, but i feel that this rush makes it difficult for Him to not get involved in or encourage situations that cause conflict for Him and us. Moreover, Maximus is extremely tenderhearted and has a penchant for what i call Wounded Birds, people who are down on their luck, emotionally wounded, and in need of rescuing. More often than not, the wounded birds are women, such as Ms. W, LeLe, Nancy, Z Baby, PoodleS, but The Englishman is a wounded bird as well. These people attract His attention and give Him a great deal of appreciative attention back, and Maximus derives a great deal of self-worth from that.

Maximus started the conversation about being at the bar with The Englishman. We talked about the drama that comes from hooking up with vanilla chicks and particularly Wounded Birds, as this woman, a recent widow, most certainly was. i shared with Him how i had spent time thinking about His response to women’s attentions and had wanted to talk about it with Him. He most certainly agreed with my assessment, that He does get a rush from that, to the point where it blinds Him (such was the case when we met a swinging couple in Hawaii that i did not care for, but He did not even pick up on my overt signals about because He was so taken by the woman’s desire to be with Him).

He again shared that He didn’t have a desire to pick up women, but that He would gladly arrange to go on a double-date with The Englishman and the women they met at the bar, in order to encourage him to get back into the playing field. “But don’t You see, You’re doing this to rescue wounded birds–two of them!” i continued, “the widow is a wounded bird and The Englishman is most certainly a wounded bird! The Englishman is a big boy, he’s an adult, he’s most certainly capable of dating again, as he has before. He doesn’t need you to get him dating again. And by taking out the widow, You’re just encouraging her to be attached and causing drama.” Maximus replied, “Oh My god, you’re so right, The Englishman is another wounded bird.”

Don’t be a Douche

don't be a douche“But i would tell her that i have a girlfriend, if she wanted to get attached, that would fix that!” Maximus continued.

“No,” i replied, “that would be extremely hurtful, to her and to The Englishman. First, You haven’t told her You have a girlfriend, so she’s seeing You under the vanilla pretext that You are interested in her. Second, when You reveal that You have a girlfriend after going out with her, and probably fucking her too, You become the biggest jerk around and in turn, You damage The Englishman’s credibility with the girl He’s dating because He knows You have a girlfriend and therefore that shows that He encourages cheating, thus making Him a jerk. You aren’t helping anyone by doing that.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Maximus replied.

i shared with Maximus that it is frustrating to me that He continues to encourage relationships with vanilla women because it brings us conflict. And i clarified that it wasn’t that i had conflict that He saw other women, but giving vanilla women the impression that He was interested in them brought their drama and conflict into our Relationship. We talked about several women who He texts.

“I’m just being nice to them. My mother taught me to be nice. They text, I answer,” Maximus shared.

“But it’s not nice…You’re leading them on, and that’s not nice. That’s mean and really, quite douchey,“i replied. We talked about how women interpret continued interest from a man and what that means to them.

“I see that I’m really not being nice by doing that, that I’m leading them on. My mother would be very angry that I was being a douche!”

Playing Together

The discussion then turned to a specific woman who Maximus texts, Miss H, who He does not wish to ever get together with again, for several reasons. Recently, she asked if He was going to be in her state again for business and He replied when He’d be there, and of course, she wants to get together with Him. i asked why He even divulged that information with her if He had no interest in getting together with her. Again, He thought He was being nice and not understanding her intent in inquiring about His travels.

We talked about just letting these conversations with these women He has no interest in getting together with just end. “Just don’t reply, let them fade out,” i suggested. “Just as You did with Big E when You weren’t interested in getting together with little e.”

The conversation turned to swinging. As Maximus had noted, He no longer had any interest in vanilla dating, and when He thought about it, He had no interest in lifestyle dating either. This was a surprise to me. i shared that i had not had swinging dates for several months, had just lost interest in it, because i preferred to do that with Him. i went on to say that there was a certain level of jealousy when He was lifestyle dating, not that i was jealous of other women, but that i was jealous that He was playing and i wasn’t there to watch, hear, or participate!

“Oh My God! Thank you so much for sharing that!” Maximus responded, “that makes so much sense to Me!” i think Maximus felt i was jealous, but assumed i was jealous of the women, not that i was not playing too.

After more discussion, Maximus shared that He no longer wanted to swing separately, and i agreed. We have turned off our single profiles and updated our couple profiles accordingly.

Red Bottoms

i thared bottomsnked Maximus for our conversation and shared that i’d wanted to have this talk on the way down too. i also shared how i had felt after the football game, the frustration and irritation and how i had chosen to submit rather than getting angry, using it as a time to focus on the positive in us. While explaining this, i shared that i was proud that i hadn’t let that be a trigger to raging, and this surprised Him, that i could’ve raged with that. i had a hard time explaining that i probably wouldn’t have raged, but in the past, i could’ve been triggered by that, but that i had employed techniques to not get angry.

The next day, Maximus proposed that if we could go 100 days from the last raging event without me raging (actually, it was if i could go 100 days without raging, to which i clarified it was a joint responsibility and He revised the statement), He would buy me a pair of Christian Louboutin red bottomed stilettos! This is a reward for both of us, first, that He gets to buy something extravagant without me balking about it, second, that i get something special i’ve only ever dreamt about, and third, that He gets to see me wear a pair of these spectacular shoes!

So the countdown is on…actually already started over a month ago. And it’s kinda like taking candy from a baby…our raging days are over.

And…newsflash! We are going to Paris in October…the birthplace of Christian Louboutin shoes!

Categories: BDSM relationship, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, communication, Dom/sub, playing together, relationship | Leave a comment

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