24/7

A Return to my Journal

journaling

i’ve been away from journaling for a while as i’ve been consumed with springtime at the new house. Maximus gave me permission to take a break as i needed the time to focus on building and establishing our new garden and all the work it takes to whip a half acre into shape!

i have a huge amount to talk about as life and kinky life didn’t stop, just my journaling. i hope to get back into my daily posting, as much as possible. There will be another break next week while we head into the woods for camping with family and thus will be off the grid.

But i’m back bitches!

Mwah!

Categories: 24/7, submissive journal | 1 Comment

Sexual Savings Account

sex-savings-acct

Maximus sent this to me the other day and asked me to determine what we had in our sex bank…

So we’ve done all of that, for total deposits of $13,400.

Now if we could only really have gotten paid for doing that…imagine what i could do with $13,400!

Categories: 24/7, BDSM, Uncategorized | Tags: | Leave a comment

What a Week!!

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Wow! Maximus and i had an amazing week–it was really hedonistic! Maximus took the whole week off (except one morning of work), which is sooooo rare and a treat for me, we explored together, saw great shows, went to vegan restaurants where we had the complete and rare joy of being able to order ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING off a menu, and spent wonderful times with special friends, being completely ourselves!

As i’d mentioned, several of our D/s friends had encouraged us to join them at the Fetish Fair Fleamarket in Rhode Island, February 17-19, so we bought tickets and made plans for that, which was exciting enough! But, we managed to get tickets to Hamilton in New York City for Valentine’s Day, so our Fetish Fair Fleamarket trip got extended into a full-blown week-long vacation. We got home yesterday and i’m still not quite back into normal life mode!

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View from The View

We have a time share and stayed in a beautiful suite right off Times Square between the Hudson Theatre and the Belasco Theatre. We couldn’t have asked for a better location–right in the heart of the theatre district! We wandered around the first afternoon, took in the sights. We had drinks and watched the sunset from The View at the top of the Marriott Marquis before heading to one of the top vegan restaurants in the country–Candle 79.

Tuesday, we jumped onto the Hop on Hop off bus and took a tour uptown. We love to start trips in big cities all over the world with the Hop on Hop off bus tours because we get a great overview of the city, learn some history, and figure out areas we want to come back to for more exploring. We hopped off at Central Park for some lunch, shopping at Bloomingdale’s, and walked back to our hotel. Then…the highlight of our NYC trip–Hamilton!

img_1831Hamilton was amazing! We have read Ron Chernow’s book, Alexander Hamilton, that inspired Lin-Manuel Miranda to write the screenplay, have listened to the soundtrack thousands of times and know the music by heart, have watched the documentary Hamilton’s America on PBS’ Great Performances and were shocked at how overwhelmed and blown away we were watching the show live in New York. Both Maximus and i were moved to tears and that img_1832totally surprised both of us. We loved our seats, which were dead center in the front mezzanine, fourth row, as we could see everything. (Many have asked us how we got tickets–i got them through Vivid Seats, which i wholeheartedly recommend! i also checked A View From My Seat to check which seats were good and which had obstructed views or other issues before i purchased them.) It was an experience of a lifetime, and if we could have gone the next night–we would have in a heartbeat! We capped off the night with sushi and cocktails.

Maximus had to work Wednesday morning, so i went to the gym and just chilled until He was free. We took the subway to the Flatiron District for lunch before going to the Museum of Sex. The museum wasn’t what i expected–i expected more.  There were some displays abouimg_1842t the sex club history of New York, artifacts through the ages, and exhibitions on animal sexuality, erotica through history, and erotic art, but it didn’t seem particularly in-depth to us. i did complete an online sex survey while at the museum and will share about that and the results in another post. Afterward we took another Hop on Hop off tour, this time of downtown, before heading to an early dinner at another vegan restaurant, Blossom on Columbus. Why the early dinner? Because we got tickets to see the sold out Dita Von Teese show that night (thanks again to Vivid Seats)!!

Dita’s show, The Art of the Teese, was so much fun! The show was great, but the venue and happenings there were the best! We were in the middle of NYC 20-30 year-olds, sexually vibrant, electronically-connected, dressed in their finest objectified 1950s wear, party! It was a Grinder/Tinder hookup mecca and so much fun to voyeur! The MC was Mr. Murray Hill, who was hysterical, terrifically inappropriate, and made the show! Dita was gorgeous and sexy, doing four sets in between sets of several other burlesque performers she’d selected.

Thursday was quite a day. We had tickets first thing in the morning for the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. We’d wanted to go Wednesday, when the weather was nicer, but we didn’t think we’d have enough time having to start late after Maximus’ work requirements were done, so we braved 34 degrees and 30 mph winds! It takes a long time to pick up your tickets, wait to go through security, wait for the ferry, etc. and it’s all outside. So while we had 9 AM tickets, we stood out in the cold from 8 AM to 9:45 just to get onto Liberty Island–but it was worth it. The museum inside the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty is great–we learned so much! We went to Ellis Island next, which is AMAZING! There is so much to see and learn there and we will go again just to spend an entire day at Ellis Island. We wanted to go on a hard-hat tour and see the other buildings under restoration after Hurricane Sandy, but we didn’t have enough time. We left Ellis Island for lunch and then went to the 911 Memorial and Museum. The 911 Memorial and Museum is very well done and it is emotional. The whole day was moving and emotionally draining. We ended the day at Hangawi, an amazing vegan Korean restaurant in the Korean District that we were lucky enough to get reservations for this week.

Friday we made our way to Warwick, Rhode Island for the Fetish Fair Fleamarket. There were three other couples in our group at the “Flea” and we were so, so, so looking forward to seeing them again and spending more time together. i’m going to post more about this part of the trip in separate entries, as there is a lot to talk about. But it was so great!

We got home yesterday and i am still wiped out! It’s a good wiped out, though, having had such an amazing week. i was so tired last night that while i’d set things out to make dinner, i couldn’t function enough to actually do it. Maximus excused me from my normal duties, sent me to bed, and made Himself something to eat! i still need to unpack!

Categories: 24/7, BDSM, D/s, Fetish Fair Fleamarket, Hamilton: The Revolution | Leave a comment

Artful Service Homework

sexy-maid

i was able to finally complete my homework from Miss Amy Red’s Artful Service class while flying to NYC for our Valentine’s week trip!

What makes service feel artful to you?

Art is defined as skill acquired by experience, study, or an occupation requiring knowledge or skill (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/art). So if we were to simply use these definitions, any service that was studied or someone was knowledgeable in would be considered artful. However, i feel that there is something more to service being artful, in that is it done with added grace, intention, attention to detail, and love. i can easily prepare Maximus’ bed at night—i do it every night He’s home—but i can be much more loving and attentive about it: gently removing the pillows and arranging them extra neatly beside the bed and on the dresser, lovingly smoothing out the quilt after i spread it over His side of the bed, fluff and caress His pillow. This is much different than tossing the pillows off, roughly pulling the quilt up and flipping the covers back. And it doesn’t matter whether He’s watching or not, being artful about it in this manner makes a difference.

i’ve heard it said many times that you can taste when someone cooks while they are angry, that it actually changes how the food is prepared and tastes. Love is an important ingredient in food and in all service. Doing service with love and intention changes the experience for both the giver and the receiver.

  • What do you enjoy about service?

i enjoy the act of doing something for someone—it gives me joy and an expanded sense of purpose. i have been in a service profession all of my adult life and was drawn to it to help those who needed it. my leadership style is servant leadership, in that i work to provide resources to others so that they can succeed. Being helpful, improving people’s lives makes me feel good! i enjoy serving Maximus because it helps make His life even better, takes a lot of stuff off His plate so He can better focus and achieve more for Himself and us, and He truly appreciates it—that’s huge! But i also enjoy service because it allows me to use my skills, whether in cooking, home maintenance and repair, gardening, decorating, playing the piano, proofreading, making PowerPoint documents, active listening, leadership advisement, etc.

  • What qualities set some service apart as being artful?

As i mentioned above, having intention, going above and beyond just completing the task, value-added, something that surprises and delights, done in a graceful, beautiful manner.

What increases the connection in acts of service?

Having focus and mindfulness increases the connection. Including touch, eye contact, slowing down all increase the connection. Doing something extra, anticipating needs or desires also increase this,

  • 2 ways to focus your attention that could increase connection in service interactions

As noted above, eye contact and touch/physical interaction can increase connection in service interactions.

  • What tools do you use to communicate your intentions wordlessly?

Body language and eye contact, positioning.

  • What do you appreciate about your partner in artful service interactions?

During artful service interaction i appreciate Maximus’ response and reactions. It is more than just a “thank you,” it is a look in His eyes, tone of voice, a deeper connection. Oftentimes i am rewarded with play, attention, whether it’s immediate or delayed.

What makes service more unique and intimate?

Knowing your partner’s preferences, touch, eye contact, positioning.

  • What style or service archetype are you curious about exploring?

As noted in Our M/s, we have incorporated attributes of 1950s Housewife, Victorian, CEO/COO into our D/s. We are extremely interested in exploring high protocol and have discovered the Libertine Social Club in our region, which will give us a chance to learn more and try it out.

  • What “ordinary” act of service would you like to try charging up?

i would be interested in charging up our bedtime ritual. i have several tasks for this, but i would like to find ways to increase our connection and intention as we go to bed. This is something i need to bring up to Maximus to see how He feels about this and what we can do to achieve this.

  • Can you make it more (choose one or more) valuable, enjoyable, beautiful, irreplaceable?

Valuable, enjoyable, and beautiful

What can improve or correct existing service?

Awareness is a large part of improving or correcting existing service. If you are not cognizant of areas where service can be improved or corrected, you will continue to operate at that level. It will require some self-discipline to evaluate performance, and evaluation, feedback, discipline, correction from Maximus as well.

  • What obstacle have you experienced recently?

During the last review of our rules and protocols, we noticed that we have not been sticking to the rules and protocols regarding door opening. i have been opening my own doors, especially car doors, which is a violation of Maximus’ expectations. While this does not seem like a service, it serves Maximus’ desire to be a gentleman—disregarding this robs Him of something important deep within Him. It also serves as a reminder to me that i am His, that there are expectations i must operate within, and causes me pause to remember our relationship.

While i have been better about this since we discussed this issue, there are many things i can do to make this more artful. First, i can use the pause to actually reflect on our relationship rather than look at my phone (as is often the case when waiting for Maximus to come around and open the car door to let me out), second, i can look into Maximus’ eyes and then nod during these times to convey my appreciation and connection rather than simply thanking Him, which i do every time, third, i can incorporate touch when i pass Him during these interactions.

  • What category(s) does that experience seem to fit with?

Incorporating these things can make the experience more valuable, enjoyable, beautiful, and irreplaceable. Why irreplaceable? Because i know Maximus holds doors for others, but He does not receive any of the response i described above from anyone, which will set that interaction to a higher level than others, increasing our connection, and strengthening our relationship.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM classes, D/s, M/s, Miss Amy Red, protocols, relationship, rituals, submissive housewife | Tags: | Leave a comment

A Great Week!

Does anyone else see the heart in the shadow of the light i installed in our bedroom?


i know i promised to journal yesterday but i didn’t. i’ve still been busy working on the house and was so wiped out last night that i was in bed by 8! 
i get a lot of work done when Maximus is here, but i seem to get so much more done when He’s gone! Maybe because i don’t stop to make sure He’s taken care of when He’s gone? And i can work into the evening too? Today i picked up new moulding for our powder room and installed it (the old stuff was water damaged and drove me batty!), caulked and puttied it, put the Xmas lights away that had been drying out in the garage, installed hooks to hang bicycles from ceiling, hung wreaths in garage to store when not in use, cut up more of the trees that fell in December and filled up the yard debris container (hopefully only two more weeks to go on that), stacked some firewood from the trees that were cut down two weeks ago (the chunks have been frozen to the ground, and some still are!), made enchiladas for Maximus when He gets home and i’m gone, and a whole bunch of other little things! 

The point is that i’m not just sitting around eating bonbons and being too lazy to journal! i have so much to write about and i’m too wiped out to do it! Fortunately i’m headed to Portland to spend time with a friend for a few days and should have time to write then. She’ll be working at home while i’m there and while she was concerned about that, i assured her i could entertain myself while she’s working. i hope to get some writing done then. Because i have more painting to do when i get home!!

i’m so boring!

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Painting!

paint

i have sooo much to write about. i’ve not written for the past week as i’ve been busy painting the walls inside the house. So far i’ve done both guest rooms, guest bath, powder room, master bedroom, and master bath. The master bath needs a second coat and i’m planning a paint treatment for the powder room (which is part of a whole redecorating of that room), so those rooms aren’t completely done yet. It’s been non-stop and has taken all my attention and time.

Maximus is thrilled, He keeps going into each room, turning the lights on, staring, and singing–especially about the navy blue powder room! As i’ve painted the master bedroom the same brick color as we had in the condo, He said today that the bedroom finally feels right. And i know what He means. All the walls inside were the same yellowy-beige, blah, French vanilla color. And, well, we’re not vanilla people (ok, maybe just for an ice cream flavor)!

i have plans to paint Maximus’ office, the family room, kitchen, and entry hall. i’ve not yet figured out a color for my office. After that, i’m pretty much stuck as the rest of the walls go two stories high and we don’t yet have a tall enough A-frame ladder.

It has given me a lot of time to catch up on podcasts though, so that’s been great! i’ve found a new one, thanks to a recommendation Maximus received at the last D/s discussion group, and have a lot to write about after listening to the first dozen podcasts of hers. Vague, i know, but i want to introduce this podcast more formally in its own post.

i’ll try to be more diligent about journalling despite working on big projects. It’s hard, as i’m tired at the end of the day and since Maximus was home all last week, i didn’t want to take time away from Him in the evening to journal, especially since i was so busy during the day and not very interactive with Him. He’s gone the first part of this week, so i should get some writing done. i’ll be heading to Portland the latter part of the week, before Maximus returns, to spend time with a dear friend who’s going through a rough time after a breakup. i’ll try to write when i’m down there too.

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Dancing and D/s

 

heal

“After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.” — Ann Richards

Maximus and i had our first introductory dance lesson last week and it was Wonderful!! It really was a great date night idea and Maximus was in heaven. i wore my new John Fluevog Heal shoes, which the instructor fell in love with, and they were perfect for dancing in (the instructor even remarked on that after checking them out).

Besides the instructor, i was the only woman and there were three men, including Maximus. It was nice to have a small class, but it would’ve been nice to have an equal pairing. We learned the steps separately, at first, and then paired up, switching partners between songs. While i didn’t want to switch partners, it gave me a chance to experience different styles and what worked, and kept me from trying to manage my lead, as while i might be tempted to do that with Maximus, i wouldn’t do that with a stranger! We learned the Waltz first and then American Tango. We spent considerably more time on the Waltz, learning how to turn the woman and then how to rotate the step together. i thought it was a lovely dance. We rushed through the tango as we were running out of time, and it required a lot more work by the woman, and i’d like to spend more time learning it.

i discovered that ballroom dancing is just like D/s:

  • There are defined roles

There is a leader and a follower. It is clearly defined and the leader is in charge of deciding where we are going and how we will be proceeding. Should the follower try to take the lead, toes are going get stepped on! Staying in your roles makes for a smooth and beautiful dance.

  • The leader must be strong and confident

my mom has always said, “Fake it ’til you make it,” meaning, be strong, even if you’re scared to death. The follower is depending on the leader to initiate the movement, even when they are learning. The leader’s arms must be strong so they guide the follower in the direction they wish to go.

  • Communication is paramount

In dance, you communicate with your connection, your body, your eyes, and this is vital. The leader must be able to convey their expectation for the next step, the direction they are going, how they are doing it. Without this communication, things fall apart.

  • The follower must trust their leader

The follower is not in charge and they have to trust that. If you don’t trust your leader, again, toes will be stepped on! Breathe, relax, and allow your partner to lead you. Don’t top from the bottom.

  • The leader is showing off their follower

In dance, as in D/s, the leader shows off the strengths of their partner, spinning them, doing things that show off their body, taking advantage of clothing to display their best.

  • It takes practice

You’re not going to get it right the first time, or the second time, and after you do get it, you’re going to have hiccups! It’s not a “one and done,” it’s a skill that takes attention. There’s always more to learn, things to add, things to refine.

  • It takes patience

You’re both learning–be patient. As the follower, you can’t rush the leader. Don’t get frustrated, be a helpful follower. Toes might get stepped on, steps out of sync, moves forgotten–it’s ok. Pick up, carry on, and continue to learn together.

  • It is supposed to be fun for both partners

It really should be! If it’s not, figure out why and fix it. Perhaps you’re not following your role, not communicating, not being patient. And sadly, perhaps it’s not the right partner for you.

  • Connection is the key

Hold on tight–we’re in this together!

We’re both looking forward to the next lesson Friday night. This time we’ll learn Salsa and Bachata. Maybe we’ll stay for the open Argentine Tango lesson afterward to figure tango out better. Maximus wants to do private lessons with our instructor after we finish this series, and i think that is great!

i think this is good for us. Not only because it’s something fun and social, but that it builds upon our D/s, teaches us skills we can apply in our relationship, makes us better partners. i’m excited for our future, to see how we grow from applying these skills, both in dance and in D/s.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM relationship, D/s, dancing, date night, Fluevog shoes, relationship, trust | Tags: | 1 Comment

Feminism in Lifestyle and D/s

girls women females

Feminism is the ability to choose what you want to do – Nancy Reagan

i started writing this several months ago, and just hadn’t finished it. It’s something that comes up now and again in D/s…how does feminism fit in the lifestyle and aren’t you setting women back a century by submitting to a man? i even worried about this when Maximus and i were first starting.

For me, feminism is about having the choice to do whatever the hell it is you want to do rather than being held within the constraints of social expectation. The key word there is choice. As a feminist, i decide what it is i want to do, based upon my needs, wants, and desires. This is how i was raised–do whatever it is you want to do, the sky’s the limit. And this is how i have lived my life.

i never picked traditional visions for myself as a young girl. my dreams were to become a doctor, an astronaut, or work in public safety–none of these were “normal” choices when i was a girl. And i persevered, breaking into a non-traditional profession with a group of the first women in my place of occupation of all men. i was very successful and became the first woman to hold leadership where i worked, and climbed through the ranks to be a “leader of men” so to speak. i was great at it, it fit me, and i loved it.

And then i needed a change. It was my choice. i decided that this role was no longer feeding my soul, but service, a big part of what i did in that occupation, certainly did. Maximus offered me the opportunity to pursue that with Him, and after careful consideration, i retired and came to be with Him in our 24/7 CEO/COO D/s relationship.

i know for many my choice makes no sense to them. How could i go from a “position of strength” to a “position of weakness”–essentially throwing away my feminist power? The truth is, i didn’t. i’m not weak, i’m not helpless, i didn’t throw away my power–i discovered how to use my strengths and power in a way that serves both Maximus and me. And i chose it, because i have the power to make choices in my life.

Maximus is my Dominant and i am His submissive, but it is my responsibility to make sure this household runs smoothly and efficiently. i run the tactical side of our house while He runs the strategic side–that is my service to Him. He does not micromanage me, He certainly hasn’t got time for that, and i operate within defined parameters with my autonomy intact, able to make decisions. Maximus desired me for my strength and leadership, someone He could delegate to, and would never want me to be a shrinking violet, requiring huge amounts of direction.

Being His submissive allows me to use my skills, all my non-traditional skills i have acquired and developed throughout my life. And it allows me to embrace my femininity, something i pushed away during my career. To me, it feels more balanced, and i am happier. Does it negate my earlier life? No, i think it honors it, that i can continue to use those skills to help others and myself.

i suppose this is rambling, but the key to it is that this was my choice, not an expectation i bowed down to. This is why i characterize my submission as a gift (which is another area of contention with many others in D/s). First, i am gifted as a submissive, it is my gift or talent, and i use it to serve. Second, it was my choice to give my submission to Maximus, a gift i gave freely and fully, not to be taken back. i believe this is the greatest attribute to feminism, the choice to decide what is best for ourselves, and to do it unapologetically, loud and proud.

Categories: 24/7, balance, BDSM relationship, D/s, Dom/sub, feminism, submissive, submissive housewife, Total Power Exchange, TPE | Tags: | 1 Comment

January 2017 Rules Updates

rules

There are a lot of changes to Appendix 1 Rules of our contract, so hold on tight!

First, Appendix 1 will be renamed Rules, Rituals, and Protocols

One rule is being moved to the body of the contract:

The Dominant and the submissive recognize that this relationship is unique to them and is a primary relationship to any other relationship the Dominant or the submissive have with others.  The submissive will be the Dominant’s only sub; The Dominant shall be the submissive’s only Dom. Furthermore, the submissive shall not take on the position of a Domme or Dominatrix with another party, nor shall the Dominant be taken in as a submissive to another.

While that seemed to imply emotional monogamy, it really didn’t spell it out. Emotional monogramy is fundamental to our relationship, so it deserved to be written into the contract and will be included in this clause. Furthermore, it was listed as a rule and it should be in the fundamentals of our contract, so it has been moved.

There are three changes under the category Sleep.

First, the rule about preparing Maximus’ bed is being moved to the Rituals section and will further describe exactly how i should perform this.

Second, we are adding:

The submissive shall sleep in a position in the bed where the Dominant can touch her at all times.

Maximus prefers that i am in close contact with Him while we sleep, something that was impossible for me to do while i was suffering from hypothyroidism (our body temperatures were so off from each other that any touch from Him felt like hot brands burning into my skin, and not in a sexy, BDSM way!). Now that i am in recovery, Maximus is establishing this rule.

Third,

The submissive shall don and wear the Dominant’s wrist cuffs to sleep at night whenever He is traveling and away at night.

This is a reminder to me of His need for touch at night and makes me feel more secure while He is gone.

Under Clothing, we are adding a notation about the wearing of my day collar/collar-representing jewelry. Again, it was something that had been communicated but not codified.

The Dominant has collared the submissive. This collar is to be presented by the submissive for placement (as described in the Protocols section) by the Dominant during training, BDSM play, kink events (where appropriate), and when directed by the Dominant. He has also provided a more discreet marking of ownership in the form of a David Yurman link chain ring and necklace, either or both which shall be worn at all times inside and outside the house, except when bathing, sleeping, or housekeeping/projects and exercise make it unsafe to so do. The submissive is the only person in the world permitted to wear the Dominant’s collar or other markings of ownership, none of which shall ever be shared or loaned by the submissive.

The collar is extremely important to us. Maximus just wants the wearing of my actual collar and collar-representing jewelry to be practical and safe. i am always collared and am aware of my collaring without the actual collar or jewelry in place. This is a deviation from most collared subs, but it is Maximus’ rule for me.

Personal Hygiene/Beauty has a new entry regarding my responsibility for keeping Maximus’ ears and nose free of errant hair.

Under Personal Qualities, we are adding:

The submissive will conduct herself with dignity and grace in public.

It’s not been a problem, but important to note.

Sex will now include that i am responsible for maintaining our supply of lubricants, all types and for all purposes. Failing to maintain supply may mean intercourse without the aid of lubricant.

Under Communication, we are adding:

The submissive must express her feelings, wants, state of health, likes, and dislikes at all times. She is free to express those needs consistent with her position, expressing not demanding.

This includes communicating about whether i dislike a television show or movie rather than just getting up in the middle and leaving the room–i didn’t realize this was a problem for Maximus, i thought i was being polite. Apparently this leaves Him in a lurch wondering if He should pause and wait for me to return, if He’d offended me somehow, if i’m ill, etc.

We are also adding:

Any errors or breaches of this contract by the Dominant do not abrogate the submissive’s obligations provided for herein. The submissive may request a discussion, but should not expect an apology from the Dominant for any perceived, or real error, or omissions. Acceptance of this contract is sufficient for the submissive to understand the Dominant’s intent is to provide a safe, healthy structure and life for the submissive and that errors are reflective of the human condition, no motivated by malfeasance, or desire to harm the submissive. The submissive accepts any errors on an ad hoc basis.

This helps with a perception that Maximus has that i am, at times, requesting discussion about issues expecting an apology–i’m generally not. Most of the time i just want to communicate how i’m feeling and have acknowledgement that He recognizing how something made me feel and an apology from Him just makes me feel more frustrated and unheard. He shared that He often just apologizes just to avoid discussion.

New subject heading: Housekeeping.

Household tasks will be distributed between the Dominant and the submissive at the Dominant’s discretion. Any housework done by the Dominant at His own volition shall not be perceived as a failure by the submissive or subject to punishment, unless the Dominant is completing a task the submissive had been directed to do and failed to complete.

The Dominant willingly participates in the following housekeeping tasks, although they do not preclude the submissive from doing these tasks: laundry (all aspects, including dropping off and picking up dry cleaning), vacuuming/sweeping, mowing the lawn, blowing out the garage.

The Dominant desires to own the following tasks, unless He deems them punishment tasks for the submissive: cleaning His own car, cleaning toilets, final cleanup of dishes and kitchen after the submissive prepares dinner.

Maximus enjoys housekeeping tasks, it gives Him a break from His work day. i get a little twitchy about this, however, and often apologize when i find Him completing housework tasks–He wants this to stop. i do have my daily chore list that i developed and will continue this, i just need to understand that He is going to do some housework as well.

The Interaction section will be moved to Protocals.

In Travel, Maximus wanted it clarified that i do not pack His travel bags.

Under Financial, we are adding language to reflect the recent addition of my responsibility for paying utility bills. Maximus has also added that i will track all sales tax (using the spreadsheet He created), taxable donations, and rental property finances. i am also to go with Him to meetings with the tax accountant.

There will be one addition to Work/Life Balance which is to indicate that i am to bring my calendar to Happy Half in case Maximus needs to update me on any schedule updates that have occurred during His workday.

Social Organization is a new section.

The submissive is responsible for maintaining our social calendar and making suggestions for social outings.

The submissive is responsible for making social contacts and responding to messages in any and all of our online social networks, as well as email and text.

The submissive shall maintain an Entertainment Journal that records guests (vanilla and kink) we have hosted, what was served, what we wore, entertainment provided, which room they slept in, etc. In addition, the submissive will track preferences of any and all of our guests in terms of allergies, special needs, favorite beverages, etc., in order to best host them.

It appears to be a lot of new rules, but many of these are codifying what we have already been doing and some are reorganizations into correct or new parts of the contract. i will be going through and adding the dates each rule was taught to me, which i will continue from this point forward. In addition, i will keep a copy of the Appendix 1 Rules, Rituals, and Protocols available in a binder at all times for my (and Maximus’) reference.

Tomorrow i will journal about our new Rituals and Protocols sections.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM contract, BDSM relationship, D/s, Dom/sub, M/s, rules, Total Power Exchange, training | Tags: | Leave a comment

January 2017 Contract Updates

contract

As i noted yesterday, after reading Devil In The Details III – The Art of Mastery- A Mentoring Trilogy: Volume III “Sustainable Structure & Training” part of The Devil in the Details: the Art of Mastery series by LT Morrison, we had some things we wanted to update in our contract.

First, was that we didn’t have our Relationship Vision in it, which we realize was a big omission. When we went to the D/s discussion group and discussed contracts, i noticed that the submissives that had contracts mentioned that their relationship vision was included in theirs, and the book talked about the importance of having that defined in the contract as well. So we have added our relationship vision to the Fundamental Terms of our contract in a Preamble. We also included the manner in which this contract was developed, should it ever get into hands of family who might misunderstand it.

While we did have a statement that included confidentiality of “all that occurs under the terms of this contract,” we didn’t really have an overt confidentiality clause. Confidentiality hasn’t been an issue for us, but we both felt it needed a bit more weight. We are adding this to our contract, including requiring permission to inform others of our D/s dynamic prior to disclosure.

Next, as we’ve been reading and attending a M/s, D/s, TPE relationship discussion group, we are narrowing down on our relationship dynamic. i know it seems strange to keep adjusting this, but we discover more about ourselves all the time, and it requires some adjustment to our contract. For us, we are somewhere on the continuum between M/s and D/s. Maximus desires me to have free will, therefore not a slave, but i do consider Him my Master and possessed/owned by Him. Since we are not truly a M/s dynamic, we are changing all references from M/s to D/s. Does it change our relationship? No. It simply is a clerical change as not to misconstrue our dynamic when others read our contract.

Punishment is a difficult area for Maximus. i believe i’ve journalled before that He is not completely comfortable with punishment as discipline, and didn’t even spank His children when they were growing up. As we have a CEO/COO arrangement, physical punishment just doesn’t seem to fit, in His mind, but it is an option in our contract that is NOT going away. However, we are adding a clause that the Dominant shall never punish the submissive in anger.

Finally, we really appreciated the statements Morrison had at the signature lines of his contracts. It seemed a fitting conclusion to the contract and reiterates what is being signed.

For the submissive:

i have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. i agree to give myself completely to my Dominant, and further accept His claim of ownership over my physical body. i understand that i may be commanded, trained, and punished and i promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasure and desires of my Dominant to the best of my abilities. i understand that i cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

For the Dominant:

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this submissive as my property, body, and possessions, and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall provide for her security and well-being and command her, train her, and punish her as a submissive. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to her as long as she is mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

These are the changes to our base contract. There are significantly more changes/additions to our rules, which are in Appendix 1. In addition, we have protocols and rituals that need to be broken out of the rules section. i will address these in the next journal post.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM contract, communication, D/s, Dom/sub, LT Morrison, M/s, Relationship Vision, TPE | Tags: | 1 Comment

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