BDSM Contract, Rules, and Activities List

CONTRACT

Made this 1st day of January 2017 (“The Commencement Date”)

BETWEEN

“The Dominant”

“the submissive”

PREAMBLE

1 This contract has been developed under the guidance of an established Relationship Vision defined by the Dominant and the submissive: Growing Old Together (GOT) – a lifelong, harmonious, loving, committed relationship together.

2 This private contract is provided as a binding agreement, which defines in specific terms, the relationship and interaction between the participants. This contract defines the personal relationship structure of the parties and is binding only by the integrity of the parties. This contract in no way supersedes the Laws of the United States. This agreement is entered into voluntarily, both parties being fully informed, consensually, without coercion, or undue influence, with both parties agreeing to the conditions and stipulations set out herein.

THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS

3 The following are the terms of a binding contract between the Dominant and the submissive.

FUNDAMENTAL TERMS

4 The fundamental purpose of this contract is to allow both the Dominant and the submissive to explore their sensuality and sexuality, and the submissive’s serviceheart, with due respect and regard for her needs, her limits, and her well-being.

5 The Dominant and the submissive agree and acknowledge that all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be consensual, confidential, and subject to the agreed limits and safety procedures set out in this contract. Additional limits and safety procedures may be agreed in writing. Both parties shall safeguard this unique relationship. Neither can inform others of our D/s dynamic without prior agreement from the other. As this contract is confidential, both parties must agree in the occasion that it is shared with any person(s), in any format, including directing other parties to the submissive’s blog, which is her online journal.

6 The Dominant and the submissive recognize that this relationship is unique to them and is a primary relationship to any other relationship the Dominant or the submissive have with others. They agree that emotional monogamy is required in this relationship. There will be no additional partners brought temporarily or permanently into the relationship.  The submissive will be the Dominant’s only sub; The Dominant shall be the submissive’s only Dom. Furthermore, the submissive shall not take on the position of a Domme or Dominatrix with another party, nor shall the Dominant be taken in as a submissive to another.

7 The Dominant and the submissive each warrant that they suffer from no sexual, serious, infectious, or life-threatening illnesses, including but not limited to HIV, herpes, and hepatitis. If during the Term (as defined below) or any extended term of this contract either party should be diagnosed with or become aware of any such illness, he or she undertakes to inform the other immediately and in any event prior to any form of physical contact between the parties.

8 Adherence to the above warranties, agreements, and undertakings (and any additional limits and safety procedures agreed under clause 7 above) are fundamental to this contract. Any breach shall render it void with immediate effect and each party agrees to be fully responsible to the other for the consequence of any breach.

9 Everything in this contract must be read and interpreted in the light of the fundamental purpose and the fundamental terms set out in clauses 4-8 above.

ROLES

10 Dominant  and submissive  adopt a 24/7 D/s relationship in the style of Chief Executive Officer/Chief Operating Officer (CEO/COO).

11 The Dominant shall take responsibility for the well-being and the proper training, guidance, and discipline of the submissive. He shall decide the nature of such training, guidance, and discipline and the time and place of its administration, subject to agreed terms, limitations, and safety procedures set out in this contract or agreed additionally under clause 3 above.

12 Subject to that proviso and to clauses 4-8 above, the submissive is to serve and obey the Dominant in all things. Subject to the agreed terms, limitations, and safety procedures set out in this contract or agreed additionally under clause 8 above, she shall without query or hesitation offer the Dominant such pleasure as he may require and she shall accept without query or hesitation his training, guidance, and discipline in whatever form it may take.

COMMENCEMENT AND TERM

13 The Dominant and submissive enter into this contract on the Commencement Date fully aware of its nature and undertake to abide by its conditions without exception.

14 This contract shall apply in a 24/7 basis and be effective indefinitely.

SERVICE PROVISIONS

15 The following service provisions have been discussed and agreed and will be adhered to by both parties during the Term. Both parties accept that certain matters may arise that are not covered by the terms of this contract or the service provisions, or that certain matters may be renegotiated. Furthermore, it is expected that the Dominant and submissive shall review this contract in its entirety at regular intervals to ensure they understand and agree to its content, rules, and agreed activities.  In such circumstances, further clauses may be proposed by way of amendment. Any further clauses or amendments must be discussed, agreed, documented, and signed by both parties in person and shall be subject to the fundamental terms set out under clauses 4-8 above. Tentatively agreed upon amendments that are awaiting physical agreement shall be followed fully.

DOMINANT

15.1 The Dominant shall make the submissive’s health and safety a priority at all times. The Dominant shall not at any time require, request, allow, or demand the submissive to participate at the hands of the Dominant in the activities detailed in Appendix 2 or in any act that either party deems to be unsafe. The Dominant will not undertake or permit to be undertaken any action which could cause serious injury or any risk to the submissive’s life. The remaining subclauses of this clause are to be read subject to this proviso and to the fundamental matters agreed in clauses 4-8 above.

15.2 The Dominant accepts the submissive as his, to own, control, dominate, and discipline during the Term. The Dominant may use the submissive’s body at any time or in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise.

15.3 The Dominant shall provide the submissive with all necessary training and guidance in how to properly serve the Dominant.

15.4 The Dominant shall maintain a stable and safe environment in which the submissive may perform her duties in service of the Dominant.

15.5 The Dominant may discipline the submissive as necessary to ensure the submissive fully appreciates her role of subservience to the Dominant and to discourage unacceptable conduct. The Dominant may flog or spank the submissive as he sees fit, for purposes of discipline, for his own personal enjoyment, or for any other reason, which he is not obliged to provide.

15.6 In training and in the administration of discipline the Dominant shall ensure that no permanent marks are made upon the submissive’s body nor any injuries incurred that may require medical attention.

15.7 In training and in the administration of discipline the Dominant shall ensure that the discipline and the instruments used for the purposes of discipline are safe, shall not be used in such way as to cause serious harm, and shall not in any way exceed the limits defined and detailed in this contract.

15.8 The Dominant shall never punish the submissive in anger.

15.9 In case of illness or injury the Dominant shall care for the submissive, seeing to her health and safety, encouraging and, when necessary, ordering medical attention when it is judged necessary by the Dominant.

15.10 The Dominant shall maintain his own good health and seek medical attention when necessary in order to maintain a risk-free environment.

15.11 The Dominant shall not give his submissive to another Master or Dominant. The Dominant may direct the submissive to serve another Master or Dominant within the limits of Appendix 2, but the submissive shall not be given as property to that Master or Dominant.

15.12 The Dominant may restrain, handcuff, or bind the submissive at any time for any reason and for extended periods of time, giving due regard to the health and safety of the submissive.

15.13 The Dominant will ensure that all equipment used for the purposes of training and discipline shall be maintained in a clean, hygienic, and safe state at all times.

SUBMISSIVE

15.14 The submissive accepts the Dominant as her Master, with the understanding that she is now the property of the Dominant, to be dealt with as the Dominant pleases during the Term.

15.15 The submissive shall obey the rules, rituals, and protocols (“the Rules, Rituals, and Protocols”) set out in Appendix 1 to this agreement. The Dominant shall also follow the guidelines of the Rules, Rituals, and Protocols to this agreement as they apply to Him.

15.16 The submissive shall serve the Dominant in any way the Dominant sees fit and shall endeavor to please the Dominant at all times to the best of her ability. The submissive will utilize anticipatory service in her service to The Dominant.

15.17 The submissive shall take all measures necessary to maintain her good health and shall request or seek medical attention whenever it is needed, keeping the Dominant informed at all times of any health issues that may arise. This includes mental health as well as physical health.

15.18 The submissive shall accept without question any and all disciplinary actions deemed necessary by the Dominant and remember her status and role in regard to the Dominant at all times.

15.19 The Dominant may, at times, direct the submissive not to touch or pleasure herself sexually without permission from the Dominant.

15.20 The submissive shall submit to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominant and shall do so without hesitation or argument.

15.21 The submissive shall accept floggings, spankings, paddlings, or any other discipline the Dominant should decide to administer, without hesitation, inquiry, or complaint.

15.22 The submissive shall always conduct herself in a respectful manner to the Dominant. The Dominant will direct the submissive how she shall address Him, including Sir, Maximus, or such other title as the Dominant may direct, depending upon the environment and social situation. “Sir” or “Maximus” are not to be used when in the presence of family, vanilla friends, or any other situation which would bring embarrassment or undo negative attention.

15.23 The submissive shall keep a journal documenting the journey of the Dominant and submissive, her thoughts, and feelings. This journal will be online and accessible to the Dominant at all times. The Dominant shall be notified of new postings and any edits of older posts. Old posts shall not be removed by either party unless agreed upon in writing. The submissive shall document any activities and/or discussions as directed by the Dominant, in addition to her regular postings.

ACTIVITIES

16 The submissive shall not participate in activities or any sexual acts that either party deems to be unsafe or any activities detailed in Appendix 2.

17 The Dominant and the submissive have discussed the activities set out in Appendix 2 and recorded in writing on Appendix 2 their agreement in respect of them.

SAFEWORDS

18 The Dominant and the submissive recognize that the Dominant may make demands of the submissive that cannot be met without incurring physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other harm at the time the demands are made to the submissive. In such circumstances related to this, the submissive may make use of a safeword (“The Safeword[s]”). Two Safewords will be invoked depending on the severity of the demands.

19 The Safeword “Yellow” will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the submissive is close to her limit of endurance.

20 The Safeword “Red” will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the submissive cannot tolerate any further demands. When this word is said, the Dominant’s action will cease completely with immediate effect.

CONCLUSION

21 We the undersigned have read and understood fully the provisions of this contract. We freely accept the terms of this contract and have acknowledged this by our signatures below.

submissive’s Signature

i have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. i agree to give myself completely to my Dominant, and further accept His claim of ownership over my physical body. i understand that i may be commanded, trained, and punished and i promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasure and desires of my Dominant to the best of my abilities. i understand that i cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

The submissive:

Date:

 

Dominant’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this submissive as my property, body, and possessions, and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall provide for her security and wellbeing and command her, train her, and punish her as a submissive. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to her as long as she is mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

The Dominant:

 Date:

 

APPENDIX 1 – RULES, RITUALS, AND PROTOCOLS

RULES

Obedience:

The submissive’s goal is to please and serve the Dominant under any circumstance and at all times, ensuring that His life runs as smoothly and effectively as possible. This implies that she focuses upon the Dominant – His safety, needs, and desires—through anticipatory service. The submissive should put Him first in any situation as long as that does not put her into any danger. The submissive should never show any sign of anger or frustration, crankiness, or any disruptive behaviors, emotions, or thoughts. The submissive should never show any disagreement with an order or wish from the Dominant. All orders should be promptly complied to and diligently executed. (10-30-12)

The submissive will obey any instructions given by the Dominant immediately without hesitation or reservation and in an expeditious manner. The submissive will agree to any sexual activity deemed fit and pleasurable by the Dominant excepting those activities that are outlined in the hard limits (Appendix 2). She will do so eagerly and without hesitation. (8-19-13)

Kitchen Safety Zone:

The Dominant recognizes the inherent danger related to the cooking environment and will refrain from any activity jeopardizing the safety of either party while the submissive is cooking in the kitchen or other locations. The kitchen is not to be used as an escape refuge by the submissive, however. (10-25-15)

Sleep:

The submissive will ensure that both she and the Dominant achieve adequate sleep and rest. (10-30-12)

The submissive shall sleep in a position in the bed where the Dominant can touch her at all times. (1-1-17)

The submissive and the Dominant shall sleep in the same bed when together, unless there is a temporary health issue precluding such, which will be discussed and agreed upon prior to separate sleeping arrangements. If there are others in the same bed, the submissive shall sleep next to the Dominant and the Dominant shall sleep only next to the submissive. Should the submissive be in a situation of separate play, she shall sleep alone, not with any other parties, unless negotiated prior to engagement. (11-23-15, amended 1-1-17)

The submissive shall don and wear the Dominant’s wrist cuffs to sleep at night whenever He is traveling and away at night. (1-1-17)

Food:

When dining out, the submissive will scan the menu and offer choices that the Dominant would like to choose from. The submissive and Dominant will place their own orders, unless the Dominant communicates otherwise. (11-23-15)

The submissive shall prepare and serve fresh “green” juice for the Dominant when He is at home, at His request.. (4-24-16, amended 1-1-17)

Clothing:

The submissive will wear clothing approved by the Dominant. The Dominant shall accompany the submissive to purchase clothing on an ad hoc basis. If the Dominant so requires, the submissive shall wear adornments the Dominant shall require, in the presence of the Dominant and at any other time the Dominant deems fit. (6-24-13)

The submissive shall not wear a brassiere after 5:30 PM unless social situation dictates otherwise, i.e. family or vanilla friends present, out for evening, etc. (11-23-15)

When traveling by air or train, the submissive shall dress for first class travel, whether or not her fare is indeed booked or upgraded in that class. First class dress shall include high heels, dress pants and blouse, or dress. (11-23-15)

When at home, the submissive is expected to be naked as much as practical. she may be clothed if projects or duties require her to go in and out of the house or if needed for safety/warmth. Lingerie or apron may be worn. Stiletto heels are the shoe of choice. The submissive will procure and keep a wrap-around dress by the front door to quickly don in the case of unexpected visitors. (11-15-16)

The submissive shall sleep naked at all times, except when family or vanilla friends are visiting or we are visiting them. (11-23-15)

The Dominant has collared the submissive. This collar is to be presented by the submissive for placement (as described in the Protocols section) by the Dominant during training, BDSM play, kink events (where appropriate), and when directed by the Dominant. He has also provided a more discreet marking of ownership in the form of a David Yurman link chain ring and necklace, either or both which shall be worn at all times inside and outside the house, except when bathing, sleeping, or housekeeping/projects and exercise make it unsafe to so do. The submissive is the only person in the world permitted to wear the Dominant’s collar or other markings of ownership, none of which shall ever be shared or loaned by the submissive. (1-1-17)

Exercise:

The submissive shall exercise in a manner necessary to maintain and build her level of fitness necessary to participate and be competitive in the athletic events of their choosing. Exercise shall continue to have a priority in her life and the activities under Appendix 2 shall not interfere with training necessary to maintain a competitive edge. (10-30-12)

Personal Hygiene/Beauty:

The submissive will keep herself clean and shaved and/or waxed at all times. The submissive will visit a beauty salon of the Dominant’s choosing at times to be decided by the Dominant and undergo whatever treatments the Dominant sees fit. The costs of those treatments will be met by the Dominant. (10-30-12)

The submissive shall be responsible for the grooming of the Dominant’s ears and nose to keep them free of errant hair. (1-1-17)

Personal Qualities:

The Dominant and the submissive recognize that their behavior is a direct reflection on the other partner. The Dominant and the submissive shall be held accountable for any misdeeds, wrongdoings, and misbehavior committed when not in the presence of each other. (6-24-13)

The submissive will conduct herself with dignity and grace in public. (1-1-17)

Sex:

As a general rule, the submissive’s orgasms are not controlled, unless otherwise communicated, however, should the submissive have orgasms outside of the Dominant’s presence, she shall communicate this to the Dominant. (11-23-15)

The submissive is responsible for maintaining an adequate supply of lubricants, all types and for all purposes. Failing to maintain supply may mean intercourse without the aid of lubricant and cannot be cause for denial of sexual use by the Dominant or others. (1-1-17)

The submissive shall be responsible for pickup, cleaning, and putting away of sex toys and leather collar after play. (1-1-17)

Swinging:

The Dominant and the submissive desire to continue swinging activities together rather than separately; however, separate play may be negotiated prior to engagement. Sexual relations with others shall be conducted in a manner that shall not expose risk to the health and safety of either partner in this Agreement. The Dominant and the submissive shall maintain joint accounts on such Internet services such as Adult Friend Finder, Kasidie,  Swing Lifestyles, etc. and individual accounts on FetLife (linked to each other) for swing and kink play. Neither party shall cancel, close, delete, or suspend any joint online account for any reason unless mutually agreed upon. (10-30-12)

Communication:

In general, the submissive is always expected to speak and express herself in a respectful manner, whether she is talking to the Dominant or anyone else. (11-23-15)

The Dominant and the submissive shall function with a philosophy of “over-communication.” Outside relationships will be discussed fully and proactively. All inquiries from either party shall be answered fully and honestly. All calendars, written or electronic, shall be maintained and accessible to either party. (11-19-12)

Either party may request access to an individual email account at any time for reason that must be explained to the account owner. The account owner will sit with the other party, login, and be present for the evaluation to witness the viewing and answer any questions that may arise.  These inquiries are not expected to occur frequently, if at all. The same rules apply to all other communication devices as well. (1-1-15)

Both parties agree to work through disagreements using the Imago Dialogue process rather than dissolve this agreement. Dialogues shall begin and end with the spoken words, “I/i love Y/you.” The Dominant and the submissive agree not to yell at any time. Safewords may be used to communicate frustration level to the other party. Either party may request a break from discussions in order to avoid pushing frustration levels to a point of yelling; this break will not be indefinite, but have specific time parameters indicating when discussions shall proceed again. It is also understood that at times, circumstances of life and work may not allow for immediate discussion. In these cases, the parties will set a specific time to have focused discussion with each other, free of distractions and allowing for private communication. (1-1-13)

Both the Dominant and the submissive recognize that humor can cut both ways, in that things spoken or written that might be funny to one person may be perceived as hurtful to the other. This contract, rules, and appendices and content, are not to be the subject of jokes. (1-1-13)

Serious discussions surrounding this contract, rules, or contents, and/or the relationship between the Dominant and submissive shall not take place while either party is driving a vehicle. Both parties recognize that this is not a safe activity. (1-1-13)

The Dominant requests that the submissive use the phrase, “Focus, Sir” should He become distracted or anxious during communication. (1-1-17)

The submissive must express her feelings, wants, state of health, likes, and dislikes at all times. She is free to express those needs consistent with her position, expressing not demanding. (1-1-17)

Any errors or breaches of this contract by the Dominant do not abrogate the submissive’s obligations provided for herein. The submissive may request a discussion, but should not expect an apology from the Dominant for any perceived, or real error, or omissions. Acceptance of this contract is sufficient for the submissive to understand the Dominant’s intent is to provide a safe, healthy structure and life for the submissive and that errors are reflective of the human condition, not motivated by malfeasance, or desire to harm the submissive. The submissive accepts any errors on an ad hoc basis. (1-1-17)

Tough Love Clause:

The submissive has the right to invoke this clause if she strongly believes she must intervene in the Dominant’s best interest. This gives the submissive freedom to speak her mind without being disrespectful. The submissive must announce that she is invoking this clause, state her case calmly and respectfully, allow questions and/or discussion, and accept the Dominant’s ultimate decision on the matter. The Dominant trusts that this clause will only be utilized when absolutely necessary for His well-being, not as a tool for the submissive to control the relationship. (11-23-15)

Travel:

The submissive shall not cause travel delays to the Dominant or any other traveler due to her dress. For example, should her shoes contain metal shanks and have to come off for TSA scanning, even in TSA pre-check, she should be prepared to do so without delaying others. She should be prepared to don her shoes again without delaying the Dominant. (11-23-15)

The submissive shall be polite and courteous while traveling, not blocking or delaying other travelers, therefore, the rule regarding door entry may be suspended when navigating through airports or other travel depots. (11-23-15)

The submissive will not pack the Dominant’s bags for travel unless expressly requested—the Dominant prefers to pack His own luggage. (1-1-17)

Financial

The financial agreements documented in the legal cohabitation agreement between the Dominant and the submissive will apply. (11-23-15)

The submissive shall be responsible for the payment of all utilities and other bills the Dominant so requests. (1-1-17)

The submissive shall track annual state sales tax using the spreadsheet He created, taxable donations, and rental property finances for our joint tax requirements. The submissive shall also accompany the Dominant to all meetings with the tax accountant. (1-1-17)

Annual Goals:

The Dominant and the submissive will annually prepare a list of goals. The submissive will be responsible for monitoring progress, reporting quarterly to the Dominant. (11-23-15)

Training:

The Dominant will schedule submissive training as needed. (4-24-16)

Housekeeping:

Household tasks will be distributed between the Dominant and the submissive at the Dominant’s discretion. Any housework done by the Dominant at His own volition shall not be perceived as a failure by the submissive or subject to punishment, unless the Dominant is completing a task the submissive had been directed to do and failed to complete. (1-1-17)

The Dominant willingly participates in the following housekeeping tasks, although they do not preclude the submissive from doing these tasks: laundry (all aspects, including dropping off and picking up dry cleaning), vacuuming/sweeping, mowing the lawn, blowing out the garage. (1-1-17)

The Dominant desires to own the following tasks, unless He deems them punishment tasks for the submissive: cleaning His own car, cleaning toilets, final cleanup of dishes and kitchen after the submissive prepares dinner. (1-1-17)

Social Organization:

The submissive is responsible for maintaining our social calendar and making suggests for social outings. she will bring her calendar to Happy Half in order to make any schedule updates that have occurred during the Dominant’s workday. (1-1-17)

The submissive is responsible for making social contacts and responding to messages in any and all of our online social networks, as well as email and text. (1-1-17)

The submissive shall maintain an Entertainment Journal that records guests (vanilla and kink) we have hosted, what was served, what we wore, entertainment provided, which room they slept in, etc. In addition, the submissive will track preferences of any and all of our guests in terms of allergies, special needs, favorite beverages, etc., in order to best host them. (1-1-17)

RITUALS

Morning Ritual:

When the Dominant is home, He will bring tea to the submissive at her bedside if still in bed. Once up, she shall promptly make the bed (or strip it if it is time for weekly laundering) and find the Dominant to greet Him for the day. If the submissive arises before the Dominant, she shall make coffee for the Dominant and bring to His bedside and make tea for herself. (1-1-17)

The Dominant and the submissive will begin each day exchanging “Good morning” and “I/i love You/you.” If either the Dominant or the submissive is traveling and physically away from the other, the communication may occur via telephone or text message. (11-23-15)

Focus Ritual:

Whenever the submissive has left the home for any period of time, upon her return, immediately after greeting the Dominant (when He is home), she shall inform Him she is going to have a time for focus, retire to the Master’s bedroom, and spend at least five minutes re-focusing back into her D/s relationship with the Dominant, thus releasing all angst and frustration in order to best serve Him. (1-1-17)

Happy Half Ritual:

The Dominant wishes to conclude His business day at 5:30 PM. In order to achieve this, the submissive shall notify the Dominant at 5:00 PM and serve drinks at 5:30 PM for the transition from work to home. The typical transition period will be approximately 30 minutes, termed “Happy Half,” for discussion and drinks to allow the Dominant to unwind from His day prior to dinner. (4-24-16)

Bedtime Ritual:

Before retiring to bed, the submissive shall prepare the coffee pot for the Dominant’s morning coffee, and set out her desired tea and fill the kettle in preparation for her morning tea. (1-1-17)

The submissive will prepare the Dominant’s bed whenever He is retiring to sleep. All decorative pillows will be removed from the bed and stored, His quilt will be spread over His side if He is desiring it, the covers and top sheet folded back for entry, His bed pillow set flat, and pillow for propping under His legs tucked between the sheets at the level of His knees. His bedside lamp will be turned on. (1-1-17)

The Dominant and the submissive will conclude each day with “Good night” and “I/i love You/you.” If either the Dominant or the submissive is traveling and physically away from the other, the communication may occur via telephone or text message. (11-23-15)

Greeting Rituals:

The submissive shall always greet the Dominant with a kiss and a smile, whether in private or public, if they have been apart. (1-1-17)

Whenever the Dominant is coming home from business travel, whether by air or car, the following greetings will occur, based upon His time of arrival.

Before 9 PM: the submissive shall don an outfit of His choosing (may be one of several preset selections), prepare the drink that He requests by telephone or text on His way home, and wait in the living room. The Dominant will enter the house, go into His office to drop off His things, check correspondence, and come to the submissive in the living room. At His command, the submissive will follow Him upstairs to the Master’s bedroom to sit and visit with Him while He unpacks and prepares His bags for a future trip.

Between 9-11 PM: the submissive shall don an outfit of His choosing (may be one of several preset selections) or a robe (should she have retired to bed already) when He notifies her by telephone or text that He is on His way home, and wait in the living room. The Dominant will enter the house, go into His office to drop off His things, and come to the submissive in the living room. At His command, the submissive will follow Him upstairs to the Master’s bedroom where He may or may not unpack.

After 11 PM: the submissive may remain in bed, should she have retired already. If she has not retired to bed, the 9-11 PM ritual shall apply. If she has retired to bed, she shall prepare the Dominant’s bed and leave entry and closet lights on in preparation for His return home before retiring herself. (1-1-17)

Dominant’s Traveling Rituals:

While the Dominant is traveling, the submissive shall text at least one sexy photo of herself every day using the invisible ink function on her iPhone to the Dominant’s personal phone. (1-1-17)

PROTOCOLS

When entering into the awareness of the Dominant, such as into His office while He is working, the submissive is to lightly knock on the door and await response from the Dominant for entry. Should the Dominant not respond to the knock, the submissive may knock again for response. (4-24-16)

In public situations, the submissive shall walk beside the Dominant unless the Dominant signals or communicates otherwise. The submissive shall wait for the Dominant to open doors for her, other than restroom and car doors, which may or may not be opened by the Dominant for her. (4-24-16)

The submissive shall wait for the Dominant to open the car door for her, if she is a passenger, except for when entering or leaving the car in the garage at home, due to obstruction. (1-1-17)

When walking on sidewalks or adjacent to vehicle traffic, the submissive shall walk on the inside, with the Dominant walking adjacent to traffic. (4-24-16)

When presenting the Dominant with an item, they are to be gently presented with two hands, palms up, when possible, presenting and holding until it is accepted or directed to be set down. (1-1-17)

When the submissive is to be collared with her leather collar for training, scenes, or at any other direction of the Dominant, she shall kneel upright, and present her collar in both palms in front of her. After the Dominant receives the collar from her, the submissive shall place her hands on the back of her head, holding her hair up off of her neck for placement of the collar by the Dominant. After the collar is place, she shall remain kneeling and place her palms on both thighs, awaiting next instruction. (1-1-17)

Should the submissive require funds, she will present the Dominant with an itemized request by kneeling before Him and presenting it in her outstretched hands. The submissive will perform whatever request the Dominant has at that time in order to receive the requested funds. (11-23-15, amended 1-1-17)

Failure to comply with any of the above rules, rituals, or protocols may result in discipline.­­­­­­

 

 APPENDIX 2

 submissive’s List – 28 NOV 16

The more information a Top knows about their bottom, the safer and more exciting their playtime can be. Remember… communication is the key to all relationships, BDSM and vanilla alike!

Below is a list of BDSM activities… please put 2 answers next to each item. Don’t be overwhelmed by this list. Take your time and answer as honestly and as best you can. Your answers will change over and over as you gain more experience in the scene. You should fill out this form every so often to let your Top know about new things you are interested/not interested in!

The first answer should be, if you’ve ever tried that activity before

  • Yes = I have participated in this activity before
  • No = I have not participated in this activity before

The second answer should be your interest in engaging in that activity on a scale of 0 – 5, NO,?, +, ! or a combination.

  • 0 = I have no interest/don’t like this, but would do it to please you.
  • 1 = Not very interesting/don’t really enjoy this too much.
  • 2 = This is OK,
  • 3 = This is nice/fun/interesting
  • 4 = I really enjoy/think I’ll enjoy this activity
  • 5 = I LOVE THIS/CAN’T WAIT TO TRY THIS
  • NO = Hard limit.  I will not participate in this activity at all, at this time.
  • ? = Unfamiliar with this activity.
  • + = I’m scared of this but would possibly like to explore it.
  • ! = I’m embarrassed to admit I like this.

The submissive’s answers are in red, The Dominant’s responses are in green

Abrasion: No, No (Hard Limit) Agree

Age Play: No, 0 Agree

Anal Sex: Yes, 5 (love it!)  Asked and answered you good girl. 

Arm/Leg Sleeves: No, 5  No 5

Asphyxiation: No, No (hard limit, can’t do it)  Hell no.  Biggest fear is not having enough oxygen.   That’s my panic attack trigger.  No no no.

Beating hard: No, + No/0

Beating soft: No, 4 No/0

Begging/Pleading: Yes, 5 (oh please!)  This one is easy.  Duh let me think!  Yes/5

Being Blindfolded: Yes, 5 (love it, want it)  Yes/5555555555

Being Gagged (gagball): Yes, 5, No/5

Being Gagged (cock): Yes, 5 (vomited at Sesso, which was not terrible, think I handled it with grace, that is my only concern, being embarrassed about vomiting) Yes/5.  I have been vomited on doing this.  It was cool.  Kinda stops things until you clean up so something very private to do. Want I really like is face fucking eyes watering, tons of saliva then you spit that on my cock.  Very very porn.

Bestiality: No, No (hard limit) absolutely agree

Biting: Yes, 5 (Giving, I enjoy biting but I am cautious about how hard, prefer strong nibbles, was unable to bite any harder when Sunny asked me to, could not do it. Receiving, enjoy it) Yes/ mainly on nipples, clit

Bondage (heavy): Yes, 5  No 5

Bondage (light): Yes, 5 (enjoy this, would like to explore more) Yes/555555

Boot Worship: No, 0 (Licking your shoes/boots would most likely be a Hard Limit for me)NO/0

Branding: No, No (hard limit) NO F’ING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breast bondage: Yes, 5YES/555

Breast Whipping: Yes, 5 YES/5

Brown Showers/Scat (feces play): No, No (Hard Limit)  REALLY?  NO WAY /0000

Caning: No, 3 AGREE

Catheterization: No, No (Hard Limit) AGREE TOO CLINICAL

Chauffeuring: No, 3 DRIVING MISS DAISY?  NO/0

Choking: No, No (hard limit with asphyxiation)   NO/ SEE ABOVE 0

Chosen Clothing for: Yes, 5 (love this) YES/ 55 ESPECALLY SHOES AND TOYS

Chosen Food For: No, 5 (vegan, of course, or sushi) NO/5

Clothespins: Yes, 5 YES/5

Cock Worship: Yes, 5  YES/5

Collars (wearing): Yes, 5 (including jewelry choker or a ring that to  wear outside of our play, in public in my daily life, that symbolizes that you have collared me)  YES/5

Corsets (wearing): No, 5 (I would love for you to take me shopping and get one that turns you on)  YES/ 55555555  VERY VERY HOT BOOTS AND THIS YUMMY

Cutting: No, No (Hard Limit) HELLO NO

Daddy Play: No, 0  NO/000

Dilation (Anal): Yes, 5, NO/5

Double Penetration: YES! 5 (I am addicted to this now…) YES/555

Electricity: Yes, 5 (TENS unit play and it was awesome, would do it again in a heartbeat. Have seen violet wand, very intrigued. Also very nervous about my piercing around electricity. Ok with removing piercing during electricity play) YES/5

Enemas: Yes, 5 YES/5

Examinations (physical): No, 0 NO/0

Exhibitionism: Yes, 5 I’M TOO SHY FOR THIS.  HEHE

Face Slapping: No, + (not comfortable with giving or receiving, perhaps softly) NO/0

Fantasy Gang Rape: No, 3 NO/0  GANG BANG YES. BUT AT MY DIRECTION!! 

Fantasy Rape: Yes, 5 (Fantasy with you) NO/0

Fisting: Yes, 5 (Giving and receiving) YES/5 GIVING

Flogging (back): Yes, 5 YES/LIGHTLY ONLY/5

Flogging (butt) Yes, 5 YES/555

Following Orders: Yes, 5 Yes, 10

Foot Worship: No, 0  NO/0  ME SUCKING YOUR TOES YES

Forced Dressing: Yes, 5 Yes, 5

Forced Homosexuality: No, 5 (it’s never needed to be forced for me) YES/5

Forced Masturbation: Yes, 5 (love this) YES/5

Forced Nudity: Yes, 5 YES/5

Forced Servitude: Yes, 5 (would it be forced if I’m doing it willingly to please you?) NO/5

Full Head Hoods: No, 3 (I cannot sleep with covers over my head because I need to breathe cool air…worry I might have a problem with a hood. If the hood had mesh over the mouth so I could breathe cool air I’d probably be fine.) NO/0  SEE ABOVE NEED TO BREATHE.

Genital Sex: Yes, 5 Yes, 5 

Given Away: Yes, 4 (depends on the context, length of time, etc. We’d need to talk about this) Yes/5.  I would direct you to go, under my directions, to go to another person and do whatever they asked you to do in my presence.

Golden Showers (piss play): Yes, 5 YES/5555

Hair Pulling:  Yes, 5 (always) YES/5

Hairbrushes: No, 3 NO/0

Hand Jobs: Yes, 5 (love giving you special oily handjobs) YES/5

Handcuffs (metal): Yes, 5 AGREE

Harnessing: No, 5 AGREE

Head (getting): Yes, 5 AGREE

Head (giving): Yes, 5 AGREE

High Heel Worship: No, 0 (unless it is in reverse, being forced to wear high heels for you, in that case, would be a 5)  YES/555 LOVE THE HIGHER THE BETTER A FETISH FOR ME.

Homage With Tongue: No, 5 NO, 4

Hot Waxing: Yes, 5  NO/5

Housework: Yes, 5 (was not done as part of BDSM, would include now) NO/0  POWERPOINT YES 5

Human Pony: No, 0 NO/0

Human Puppy: No, 0 NO/0

Humiliation In Private: No, 0 (depends on what the humiliation is) No/0

Humiliation In Public: No, + (Hard Limit) NO/0

Ice Cubes: Yes, 5  Yes/5555

Including Others: Yes, 5 OH LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS YES/55

Infantilism: No, 0 NO/O

Injections: No, + (Hard Limit)  HELLNO/ 0 HARD LIMIT

Interrogations: No, 1  NO/0

Intricate Rope Bondage: Yes 5, NO/  55  VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS

Kidnapping: No, 0 (My concern is based on Thundercock and Beesweet’s experience and episode in Portland area where it was witnessed and couple involved were identified in the news even though charges were dropped. I cannot afford this. The act itself does not bother me.) NO/O

Kneeling: Yes, 5 (find it very ceremonial) NO/5

Leather Restraints: Yes, 5 YES/5

Lecturing: No, 0 NO/0

Licking: Yes, 5 YES/5

Massage(getting): Yes, 5 YES/5

Massage(giving): Yes, 5  YES/5

Medical Scenes: No, 3 NO/0, Hard Limit

Mommy Play: No, 0 NO/0

Mouth Bits: No, 3 NO/3

Mummification(saran wrap etc): No, 5 (So intrigued !)NO/4 INTERESTING BUT ONLY THE LEGS AND ARMS NOT THE FACE

Nipple torment:(clamps etc.): Yes, 5 YES/VERY VERY MUCH 55

Oral/Anal Play: Yes, 5 OF COURSE

Orgasm Control: Yes, 5  OF COURSE

Orgasm Denial: Yes, 5 Yes/5  NOT FOR A LONG TIME BUT DELAY YES

Over-the-Knee Spanking: Yes, 5 YES/5

Phone Sex: Yes, 5 (FaceTime and Skype)  YES AND 5

Piercing (perm): Yes, 5 (best orgasm ever!) NO/0 FOR ME No/5 for you

Piercing (temp): No, + (Hard Limit) NO/0

Pussy Whipping: Yes, 5 YES/55

Pussy Worship (receiving): Yes, 5 YES/5

Religious Scenes: No, 0 (I’m not religious so this has no appeal to me, but I’d do it if you were interested) NO/0

Riding Crops: Yes, 5 YES/5

Scratching (light): Yes, 5 Yes/5

Sensory Deprivation: Yes, 5 YES/5

Serving as Ashtray: No, + (Hard Limit) AGREE

Serving as Furniture: No, 2 (would do this for you)NO WAY

Serving as Maid:  Yes, 5 (would wear the outfit too) OUTFIT ONLY

Serving as Pony: No, 0 NO/0

Serving Orally: Yes, 5 YES/5

Serving: Yes, 5  YES/5

Sex in Scene: Yes, 5  YES/5

Sexual Deprivation: No, 2 (I could do this for you for a short time, not sure how long, we’d have to experiment with it if it was something you desired. Would get cranky, much like your swimming deprivation 3 day limit) NO/0 WE ALREADY DO THIS WITH MY WORK TRAVEL

Shaving: Yes, 5 (Giving and receiving) YES/5

Single Tail (light/sensual): No, 0 (We have to go to a class) NO/5

Single Tail (moderate/heavy) No, + (Hard Limit) NO/0

Spanking: Yes, 5 YES/5 BUT NOT OVER THE KNEE

Speculums (vaginal):Yes, 5 YES/5

Spreader Bars: Yes, 5 YES/5

Stocks: No, 5 NO/4

Straight Jacket: No, + (Hard Limit) NO/0

Strap-on Dildos: Yes, 5 YES/5

Supplying Play Partners: Yes, 4 Yes/5

Suspension (inverted): No4 NO/0

Suspension: Yes, 5 NO/5

Swapping: Yes, 5  Yes/5

Swinging: Yes, 5 Yes/5

Tape Gags: No, 2 NO/0

Tattooing: Yes, 5 (and i’m meaning profession tattooing, not in-home. i would get more, have ideas and would talk to You about them prior to proceeding) NO/0

Teasing: Yes, 5 NO/0

Tickling: Yes, NO (hard limit) (my father used to have tickle fights with us as children, tortured me with it. Would hold me upside down by my ankles and tickle my feet into hysterics, crying, or vomiting. Once, when i was 7, he did this and after i got free, i fell forward into the coffee table, mouth open, and hit my front teeth on the top surface as if biting it, and killed one of my top front teeth. i had a dead black tooth until my adult tooth came in. i’m very sensitive to forced tickling and we need to proceed carefully with this one. i had a hard time even being touched by anyone for a long time, something that may surprise You completely now) YES/2

Triple Penetration: Yes, 5 (yes with two men and a toy. Would love to have three men) NO/5

Uniforms: Yes, 5 (Used to wear OneGuy’s law enforcement uniform, had worn my uniform several times for people) NO/0

Verbal Humiliation: No, 0 (not entirely comfortable with this but not a Hard Limit necessarily) NO/0

Videoed Scenes: Yes, 5  YES/5

Voyeurism: Yes, 5  YES/5

Whipping (cat o’ nine tails etc.): No, (Hard Limit) NO/0

Wrestling: Yes, 5 YES/5

Important Questions:

Physical Concerns – Do you have any medical conditions, chronic or otherwise, that the Top should know about? (Epilepsy, weak shoulders, skin allergy to latex, etc.) Are you on any prescription medications? Etc.

 Mental Concerns – Do you have any phobias or mental conditions that the Top should know about? (Fear of heights, Claustrophobia, MPD, etc.)

Horrible decapitation phobia. Stories of Gulf War terrorists decapitating Western hostages sent me to EAP.

Phobia of things crashing through car windshield to the point where i will sometimes exit freeway if i see someone standing on overpass i am to drive underneath or to avoid overpass construction projects.

Fear of drowning.  Tight spaces that might result in no air.  This is the source of my panic attacks.

Limits – Are there any specific scene-related things you will not do?

Not that I can think of at the moment.

Agree

Fetishes – Are there any specific scene-related things that you really like?

  •  High heels
  • Heavy bondage
  • Serving
  • Kneeling
  • Being pushed into subspace
  • Wands
  • Aftercare
  • Pussy cropping, anal cropping
  • Sensory deprivation
  • Double penetration
  • Having hair pulled
  • Anal play
  • Swinging
  • Sensory deprivation with multiple unknown people
  • Rope

 High heels, boots, directing, bondage, piss, enemas, any anal play, fisting (vaginal or anal).

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