i’ve not journaled for a few days as i’m trying to wrap my head around something. A week ago, Maximus went to the cardiologist for some chest pains that He’d not been telling me about. This was pretty upsetting to me as we do have a principle of “over-communication” in our contract, that applies to both of us, and He’d not mentioned a thing. i only found out when i overhead Him talking to the cardiologist on the phone the day before (i wasn’t eavesdropping, He was talking loud enough in His office that He could be heard in mine).
Maximus still didn’t really relay what was going on, said it was just a checkup and repeat stress echocardiogram, so i didn’t go to the appointment with Him. Mistake. The cardiologist was waiting in the wings to go over His echo and pulled Maximus in for an immediate consultation afterward. Turns out there were some changes from His last echo. He still went way over the maximum (that’s the competitive nature of Him), but things were different on the echo itself. Maximus left the cardiologist with an appointment for an exploratory cardiac catheterization and potential stent placement between Christmas and New Years, along with cardiac meds.
i heard about it over the cell phone while He was driving, in between lots of appointments. It was not a good conversation, i was confused, He was anxious and upset. He didn’t get home until 10 PM after planned Christmas shopping and dinners with His daughters, and we had a lot of conversation about what had been going on, what was happening, miscommunication, anxiety, etc. We’re better now, but it was a difficult day.
i’m so frustrated, though, and i know He is too. Maximus is in stellar shape, swims miles every day and eats healthy (He’s been consistently vegan for the past six months after His last stress echocardiogram, and Had been mostly vegan since i moved in two years ago). We thought we’d be able to keep His heart healthy with dietary changes, but it didn’t work. Everything i’ve read, every conference i’ve been to over the past eight years touts this as being the case. And it didn’t seem to work. And i don’t understand why. And i’ve heard about problems with stents clogging up and needing to be replaced. But i’m not an ass, i don’t want to not do something Maximus needs because i just don’t like it–if He needs it, He needs it. i just need to understand what is happening.
So i have questions for the cardiologist. i wasn’t there at His impromptu appointment and didn’t get to ask them. Fortunately the cardiologist understands and will do a phone consultation with Maximus and me a few days prior to the appointment.
Just have to be patient until after Christmas to ask them…