Maximus and i went to a new munch last night, actually more of a discussion group with a potluck, and it was PERFECT for us! It actually was a combined meeting of two different groups, one a Dominants-only group and the other a submissives-only group. These groups usually meet separately, but they joined up for a combined holiday potluck and then went to separate buildings for their respective discussion groups.
We both loved this group. First, it had the social mixer we were looking for, but second, and most importantly, we really identified with these groups and met some wonderful and helpful people. We have reached out to several people on FetLife and are making plans to meet with them and to go to the group meetings and other events.
It sparked some great discussion on the car ride afterward, which Maximus wanted to continue when we got home. Maximus actually asked that we have Happy Half at 10 PM to go over His thoughts. Maximus shared that with that night’s meeting He realized that He has not been as vigilant and Dominant as He should be and that i have really been asking for. He said that He could see that many of the issues we have had over the past years and recently have been due to His lack of clear direction and communication. It surprised Him because it is not like He is in business, which i have brought up on several occasions, in that He is very clear and decisive with work. And, that because He has relied on (instructed) me to do the primary research into D/s and BDSM, it really has done us a disservice–and i really have to agree with Him here. He recognizes that He really needs to do the Dominant work and that it has been unfair to expect me to fill Him in on the details.
To correct this, i have uploaded all the books i have downloaded and read onto His Kindle. He will read a book a month and we will discuss what He’s read during my training days and/or Happy Halfs. He will be enforcing our rules, which He has been remiss at doing. And He will be attending the Dominants group and working on developing a mentoring relationship with one of the other Doms at this group.
i am actually thrilled about this. It’s been uncomfortable for me to be the lead in the D/s research and development and i have felt it flipped our roles at times. And i have found myself feeling embarrassed some times when we are with other people and there is a mismatch between our (Maximus and me) knowledge levels. i really want the discipline from Him and sometimes i think i act out just to push–i’d rather not do that. So it was a wonderful experience and something we really needed.