Monthly Archives: December 2016

Master’s Great Heart


Maximus had His cardiac angiogram the other day, and His heart is PERFECT! No blockages, no stents needed. There is nothing wrong with His heart. In fact, He has a heart of a much, much younger man.

You cannot imagine what a relief this is.

So why the big scare? Turns out that stress echocardiograms can have false readings and show the potential for bad blockages. Since that test was inconclusive, the cardiac radiologist recommended an angiogram to rule out or confirm. But what a scare that was for us!

2016 ends on a high note!

Categories: BDSM relationship, cardiac | Leave a comment

No Thanks?


i have been perplexed over the past couple of years over thank you notes. Its not about writing them, its about receiving them, the lack thereof that is. When i was growing up, writing thank you notes was a requirement. my mother would not let us open presents, any presents (Christmas, birthday, etc.), without having a notepad and pen to write down who had given us what, so that we would be prepared to write thank you notes later that day or the next, at the latest. We wrote them out, usually on handmade drawn cards when we were kids, and took them to Mom to go over and mail off. We often dreaded this, but knew it was a requirement, grace and acknowledgement for someone spending the time to get us a gift or do something special for us.

i continue this practice as an adult. To me, its what you do, the right thing, and i don’t even give it a second thought. i have a collection of pretty thank you and blank note cards and sit down right away to write a little note to friends, family, others who have done something nice, such as giving us a gift or inviting us over for dinner or a party, coming up to visit for the weekend, etc. i admit that sometimes i do send an email thank you, if the situation warrants it, such as sending a note on FetLife to thank the host of an event or to others i’ve met and want to thank them for their kindness and future friendship. But generally, i hand write notes, even to my family. i leave them on Maximus’ desk for Him to go over and sign, and then i mail them off.

But i rarely receive any. At most, i get them from wedding/baby showers, but not other gifts given. Why is that? What happened to etiquette? It irks me, and i think, “am i so old that i am doing something completely old-fashioned and out of mode?” i don’t think so.

i did a little research on it and found an article on AARP that said newer generations do not appreciate the thank you note. The same with an article on Good Housekeeping. Those are just two of many. But i just don’t buy into this generation’s thought that we should ignore good etiquette and stop being mindful and appreciative–because that’s what a thank you note is. The Emily Post Institute concurs, thank you notes are just good practice and the right thing to do.

Perhaps we haven’t done a good job at teaching our future generations they why and how of writing thank you notes. The first holiday i had with Maximus where we didn’t receive thank you notes from His kids or grandchildren, i was confused and asked if i had offended them or if they just don’t send thank yous, either in writing or by email. He assured me that they adored their gifts but that thank you notes were not a priority when they were raised–they go on the verbal thank yous when they receive the gifts. But this occurs even if i wasn’t around when they opened the gift, such as when i send a gift with Maximus if He’s off the see the kids or grandkids without me for one reason or another. i didn’t raise them, and i understand there is a difference in how i might have, so i don’t get offended anymore, but i am a wee bit disappointed. It doesn’t deter me from sending them thank you notes for our gifts, however.

So rather than just complaining, i thought i’d share some resources on writing thank you notes, in case someone is struggling with how to do it.

And on that note…


Categories: Class, Etiquette, submissive housewife, Values | Tags: | Leave a comment

Father Figure


i’m devastated. On the way home from our special Christmas tradition of going to the movies, just the two of us, i got a notification that George Michael had died. i cried on the way home.

i remember when His album came out. So provocative, so dirty, so sexy. Right before college, such a pivotal time for my sexuality. I Want your Sex was so nasty, so delicious. The videos, well….i had to watch them when my parents were gone, or after i’d gone to university. But Father Figure, i had that long white wool coat…it was the coat i talked about needing to replace in Rope, Shoes, and Sloppy Blow Jobs. Father Figure was the one i was always drawn to.

The lipstick…

The eyes…

The words…


But with Maximus, it’s more. Listening in the car on the way home from the movie, i realized it had been prophetic. Maximus is my father figure.
That’s all I wanted, something special — that’s what i/He wanted all this time, something special
Something sacred in your eyes — Maximus will not allow me to lower my gaze like most subs, i have to look at Him
For just one moment, to be bold and naked at your side — Yes, naked
Sometimes I think that you’ll never understand me — there was so much to go through to get here
Maybe this time is forever, say it can’t be — GOT That’s all you wanted, something special
Someone sacred in your life
Just for one moment, to be warm and naked at my side
Sometimes I think that you’ll never understand me
But something tells me together, we’d be happy I will be your father figure — Maximus is 21 years my senior, a father figure to me, something i spoke with Fern, our counselor about.
(Oh, baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I’d love to)
I will be your preacher teacher — He teaches me all the time
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)

I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you
Till the end of time

That’s all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime — BDSM is often mistaken as a crime
That’s all I wanted, just to see my baby’s blue eyes shine — green
This time I think that my lover understands me
If we have faith in each other then we can be strong

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind

I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Till the end of time

If you are the desert, I’ll be the sea Some of you know that i am fire and Maximus is water. desert and sea. This is huge.
If you ever hunger, hunger for me
Whatever you ask for, that’s what I’ll be — i am anything and everything He asks.

So when you remember the ones who have lied –– JM and OneGuy lied to us
Who said that they cared — Maximus always talks about how He believed JM was honest and loved Him, but later He discovered it wasn’t true.
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling, don’t think of me

Because all I ever wanted
It’s in your eyes baby, baby
And love can’t lie, no
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)

My love is always telling me so
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won’t let you go, my baby

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind

I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
So I am gonna love you
Till the end of time

I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I’ll be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you
Till the end of time

We came home, blasted Father Figure over the speakers and danced in the living room. It is us. It is our song.
i will be forever grateful and in awe.
Categories: BDSM, BDSM relationship, Father Figure | Tags: | Leave a comment

Happy Holidays, 2016!

happy-holidays-16Wishing you all a happy and joyful holiday, whichever holiday you are celebrating! May your heart overflow with joy!

Maximus and i are spending a quiet Christmas day together. We slept in, Maximus actually slept longer than i did, which is something He needed, and we’ve had a lovely morning together. Several weeks ago we decided to forgo exchanging presents this Christmas, as we have given each other so much this year already. The day is to be spent together, doing things we enjoy, and reveling in our love for each other.

i made breakfast, a yummy Pumpkin French Toast Casserole, figured out where to put the camera tripod up for the annual family photo at tomorrow’s family Christmas celebration here at the new house, took a bath together, will go to see a movie at our favorite theater, have a training session, and Maximus has plans for some sexual playtime! A perfect day!

Tomorrow chaos will ensue! Just kidding, Maximus’ kids and grandkids will be here tomorrow for gifts and dinner, and we are so excited! It’s the first Christmas in our new house and one of His daughters and her family haven’t been here yet, so we are excited to share that with them. i’ve decorated our table, with all the leaves in it, as we finally have a dining room with space for it, and we have a kids table set up as well. It will be a first for us to all sit down and eat together rather than cramming together on the couch and in any space we can find to eat.

So, wishing you all a lovely day as well. Love to all!

Categories: Holiday, submissive housewife | Tags: | Leave a comment

Feeding the Dominant


A few weeks ago i noted that Maximus eats a plate of almond butter for lunch, and well, i got into a little bit of hot water over that, as He reminded me that there is an apple on that plate along with the almond butter. The point was that Maximus tends not to fix Himself lunch if i am not around, despite there being loads of great food options for Him. i have always cooked for leftovers, its in my upbringing, and i always have food on hand that can be quickly assembled and/or heated up. However, it’s come to my attention that Maximus hasn’t recognized this, thus the almond butter (and apple), and i am the one eating the leftovers or freezing them for later to keep food from spoiling. i abhor throwing food away and i need to be mindful of our grocery budget.

So after some discussion about this, we have devised a plan to help Maximus have more options for lunches and snacks, which helps us go through the leftovers and prevents me from absolute boredom from eating the same lunch all week long. Maximus wants to know what there is to eat! We settled on a magnetic notepad that i can keep on the front of the refrigerator that has a running tally of what there is to eat and where to find it. So far, its working great! We’ve made it through all the leftovers this week without having to freeze anything, and things, like oranges, aren’t spoiling.

It just takes a tiny bit of prep on my part. i simply list things as the week goes and cross things out when they are gone. It helps me quickly see what needs replenishing too. i make sure everything is labeled and prepped (turns out He hates to peel oranges, so if i have a baggie of peeled oranges at the ready, He will devour them!). Things that i find easy to gather and prepare for lunches are not so handy for Him, but if i prep them and bag them up together, He will happily do it.


Case in point, Maximus loves Asian noodles, like soba or udon, in broth with vegetables. i found frozen soba noodles at the Asian market, with six individual serving packs of noodles to a package. i put a small package of frozen noodles and a couple handfuls of frozen Asian mixed veggies into a quart ziplock bag marked “Soba Noodles” in the freezer and have a big bag of homemade Asian broth i’ve frozen in ice cube trays. Maximus grabs a couple handfuls of broth cubes, brings them to a boil in a saucepan, and then adds the frozen noddles and veggies, and voilĂ ! His favorite lunch in minutes!

Its so much healthier for Him and He finds that it gets Him out of His office and away from His computer for a little while, which is a really good thing.

But i’m not a total prude…there are still apples and almond butter…and Christmas cookies!





Categories: 24/7, Dom/sub, submissive housewife | Tags: | Leave a comment

A Dominant with a Heart


i’ve not journaled for a few days as i’m trying to wrap my head around something. A week ago, Maximus went to the cardiologist for some chest pains that He’d not been telling me about. This was pretty upsetting to me as we do have a principle of “over-communication” in our contract, that applies to both of us, and He’d not mentioned a thing. i only found out when i overhead Him talking to the cardiologist on the phone the day before (i wasn’t eavesdropping, He was talking loud enough in His office that He could be heard in mine).

Maximus still didn’t really relay what was going on, said it was just a checkup and repeat stress echocardiogram, so i didn’t go to the appointment with Him. Mistake. The cardiologist was waiting in the wings to go over His echo and pulled Maximus in for an immediate consultation afterward. Turns out there were some changes from His last echo. He still went way over the maximum (that’s the competitive nature of Him), but things were different on the echo itself. Maximus left the cardiologist with an appointment for an exploratory cardiac catheterization and potential stent placement between Christmas and New Years, along with cardiac meds.

i heard about it over the cell phone while He was driving, in between lots of appointments. It was not a good conversation, i was confused, He was anxious and upset. He didn’t get home until 10 PM after planned Christmas shopping and dinners with His daughters, and we had a lot of conversation about what had been going on, what was happening, miscommunication, anxiety, etc. We’re better now, but it was a difficult day.

i’m so frustrated, though, and i know He is too. Maximus is in stellar shape, swims miles every day and eats healthy (He’s been consistently vegan for the past six months after His last stress echocardiogram, and Had been mostly vegan since i moved in two years ago). We thought we’d be able to keep His heart healthy with dietary changes, but it didn’t work. Everything i’ve read, every conference i’ve been to over the past eight years touts this as being the case. And it didn’t seem to work. And i don’t understand why. And i’ve heard about problems with stents clogging up and needing to be replaced. But i’m not an ass, i don’t want to not do something Maximus needs because i just don’t like it–if He needs it, He needs it. i just need to understand what is happening.

So i have questions for the cardiologist. i wasn’t there at His impromptu appointment and didn’t get to ask them. Fortunately the cardiologist understands and will do a phone consultation with Maximus and me a few days prior to the appointment.

Just have to be patient until after Christmas to ask them…

Categories: 24/7, cardiac, fear, relationship, vegan | Tags: | Leave a comment

Munch Better!


Maximus and i went to a new munch last night, actually more of a discussion group with a potluck, and it was PERFECT for us! It actually was a combined meeting of two different groups, one a Dominants-only group and the other a submissives-only group. These groups usually meet separately, but they joined up for a combined holiday potluck and then went to separate buildings for their respective discussion groups.

We both loved this group. First, it had the social mixer we were looking for, but second, and most importantly, we really identified with these groups and met some wonderful and helpful people. We have reached out to several people on FetLife and are making plans to meet with them and to go to the group meetings and other events.

It sparked some great discussion on the car ride afterward, which Maximus wanted to continue when we got home. Maximus actually asked that we have Happy Half at 10 PM to go over His thoughts. Maximus shared that with that night’s meeting He realized that He has not been as vigilant and Dominant as He should be and that i have really been asking for. He said that He could see that many of the issues we have had over the past years and recently have been due to His lack of clear direction and communication. It surprised Him because it is not like He is in business, which i have brought up on several occasions, in that He is very clear and decisive with work. And, that because He has relied on (instructed) me to do the primary research into D/s and BDSM, it really has done us a disservice–and i really have to agree with Him here. He recognizes that He really needs to do the Dominant work and that it has been unfair to expect me to fill Him in on the details.

To correct this, i have uploaded all the books i have downloaded and read onto His Kindle. He will read a book a month and we will discuss what He’s read during my training days and/or Happy Halfs. He will be enforcing our rules, which He has been remiss at doing. And He will be attending the Dominants group and working on developing a mentoring relationship with one of the other Doms at this group.

i am actually thrilled about this. It’s been uncomfortable for me to be the lead in the D/s research and development and i have felt it flipped our roles at times. And i have found myself feeling embarrassed some times when we are with other people and there is a mismatch between our (Maximus and me) knowledge levels. i really want the discipline from Him and sometimes i think i act out just to push–i’d rather not do that. So it was a wonderful experience and something we really needed.

Categories: 24/7, BDSM, D/s, discipline, Dom/sub, munch, relationship needs | Tags: | Leave a comment

Spidey Senses


i’ve always had strong gut instincts. my radar goes off almost immediately if i encounter something or someone that might be a problem. i have learned to honor that, through trial and error! And Maximus has learned to pay attention when i tell Him my guts don’t feel right about someone or something. Perhaps it’s all my years in public safety, but “Spidey senses” are legitimate!

We recently had a man come to our door who was so creepy that i refused to open it and got Maximus for assistance. In fact, before we figured out that he was there for a reason and not someone who’d cased our property, a neighbor confirmed our feelings when he arrived at her house. Turns out, after lots of research and police reports, he was legitimately there for an appraisal for our insurance company, but honestly, a super creeper. We’re still pursuing formal complaints on this man, who arrived with fully unzipped pants, shirt half pulled out of his waistband, crawling through our bushes, looking like a whacking-off peeping Tom.

i have relied on my gut instincts in the lifestyle, in addition to researching people, especially when i was flying solo as a single female. If we have been in contact to meet and have exchanged some information, emails, etc., i have searched them out. i’ve/We’ve not met with people based upon findings of my research and gut feelings, and we’ve left meet-ups based upon my tingling spidey-senses. We’ve even left play parties because of this. There is an old adage, “If there’s a question, there’s no question” and i believe this. If you have a question about someone, if they make your spidey-senses go off, if there’s something you just can’t put your finger on–leave, get assistance if you need it. Your gut is telling you something for a reason.

Categories: BDSM, fear, Instincts, intuition | 1 Comment

Munch II

Maximus and i went to a different munch last night in our continued search for like-minded people. It was much better than the first munch, in that people were much friendlier, it was better organized, the room had a door and thus felt much more private, and it didn’t feel as judgy. In all, the group dynamics felt better to us.

But it still didn’t seem “just right,” to quote Goldilocks. In discussing it afterward, the Munch format just doesn’t seem to work well for us, so far. In both cases, it’s at a restaurant and people come in at different times and order food, so people are in different stages of eating, which is awkward. And you’re stuck seated at a table, configured in such a way that you are cut-off from the majority of the group, not free to roam about and talk to a bunch of folks. If people near you are not interested in visiting with folks, you’re really stranded on an island; the four people across from us and next to Maximus came together and only wanted to talk to each other. What ends up happening is that we get seated next to people that, for one reason or another, aren’t a good visiting match, and we’re stuck for an entire meal. And after the meal, there isn’t room to wander about to meet people on the other side of the room.

What we would prefer is more of a “Meet and Greet” type of format. Have a room with bar tables, have snacks/appetizers, order drinks, have the introductions and then people can move about the room and visit. This way i don’t feel like i’m interrupting someone’s meal, you’re mobile and can meet lots of people. Then, if you want to have a meal with folks and visit more, you can.

Maybe there are munches like that out there. We’ll keep looking.

Next week we are going to a joint D/s potluck at a private event center. We’re hoping that this might have more of a format that we’re looking for. And, it will be D/s types, so maybe that will be a better fit. There was an M/s couple last night, but they were on the other side of the room and we couldn’t get to them (they did mention in their introduction that they are going to the potluck next week, so we just decided to wait until then to meet them).

All in all, we were more encouraged by this munch and Maximus decided that we were not going to go back to the first munch again. He just really felt uncomfortable with the lack of privacy at that venue due to the room not having a door, and didn’t feel it was right for us. i agree. And this munch was better run.

On another note, we did get an invitation to a dungeon party this weekend from someone from the rope class. Unfortunately we have vanilla company coming Saturday so can’t go. Dangit!! We’re secretly hoping our guests will cancel due to the potential for winter weather!!

Categories: BDSM, BDSM relationship, munch | 2 Comments

Thinking Back Inside the Box

Maximus and i had a good discussion last night about the excessive shoe purchases last weekend and He is allowing me to return the Christian Louboutin shoes. He’ll take them back Friday. It really bothered me and i have felt extremely guilty about them. 

He did make sure i understood that i need to be more careful in the future about trying things on in His presence, because His inclination is to reward me with things i like. i think this includes more than just shoes and material things. Lesson learned. 

Categories: BDSM relationship, Christian Louboutin Red Bottomed Shoes, discipline, submissive housewife | Leave a comment

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