Reflections on Desire, Part 2

desirereflections

A Fantasy Fulfilled

As noted in my last post, we had themes for our Afternoon Orgy parties at Desire. One of the themes, Eyes Wide Shut, was specifically for me. This fantasy was spurred by something i saw the first time i went to a swingers’ club, Club Sesso, in Portland (which is now closed). During that trip, we (my ex-husband and i) encountered a man leading his wife around the club–wearing a man’s blazer, stiletto heels, and blindfolded. He would set her someplace, in our case, the orgy bar, and invite people to come play with her. The stipulation was that no one was supposed to let her know who they were, during or after playing with her. He invited us to play with her, but it was just too uncomfortable for me at that point in my swinging, so i declined, however, One Guy went and played with her tits.

That memory has stuck in my mind for all the years since that night. It disturbed me at first, and for a while afterward. i think the thing that bothered me the most when thinking about myself in that position was that i didn’t actually trust One Guy. i really didn’t. i didn’t trust that he’d make good decisions about the people playing with me or how they played with me.

i encountered another similar situation with Maximus three years ago at Kinkfest. i can’t believe i didn’t write about it in my post, Being Kinky, as it triggered feelings again. In this Dungeon scene, a woman was naked, blindfolded, her arms bound at the wrists and pulled up over her head and tied to a scaffolding. On the scaffolding was a sign asking people to play with her, instructing people to don exam gloves and use lube for any clit or pussy play. Her master was standing near her, watching out for her. Once again, i declined to play, still unsure of how i felt about it, but watched Maximus play a little with her.

These two scenes have rolled around in my head for years. i know i had trust issues. But after being with Maximus and really trusting Him, i became more and more intrigued with the idea. We have done sensory deprivation play together, which i love. i love being blindfolded in scenes and visually not knowing what is coming, using only my hearing. But i really love having my ears plugged while being blindfolded, really not knowing what is coming next and actually hearing a cock slamming into me internally, it’s the craziest, most amazing sound! We’d actually done some sensory deprivation play with Sunflower and Mountain Man, and also at one of M&S’s house parties, but i knew the identities of who was playing with me.

When we were coming up with orgy themes, Maximus and i started talking about including sensory deprivation play. And suddenly, the idea of it really turned me on. i asked if we could have a scene for me where i was blindfolded, ears plugged, Him near as a gatekeeper watching over me, where people, men and women, could come play with me. The catch was that i couldn’t know who they were, during or after, and when they were done, they were to sign their name on my body with markers.

So the day came for the Eyes Wide Shut orgy. i was so turned on. my pussy literally dripped down my legs as we were walking upstairs to the hot tub area! i sat on the bed and Maximus and i reviewed the scene. He asked if there was anything i did not want to happen during the scene and i asked that all cocks needed to be in condoms for intercourse (including His so i could not determine whether it was Him fucking me or someone else), no anal, and no men cumming in my mouth. i also asked Him to use His judgment to decide who had access to play with me. He agreed and said He’d be no more than four feet away at all times. He blindfolded me and i put the earplugs in and laid back on the cool sheets of the hot tub beds.

i laid there for a long time with the breeze gently caressing my body. It worried me that no one was playing with me, no one touching me. i worried that maybe we had set up a scene that was too scary for others. i spent a lot of time in my head worrying about it. i asked Maximus if we were freaking people out and He removed an ear plug and replied, “there is a lot of interest, be patient.” Ah, this scene was about learning to be patient, something i struggle with, and Maximus is helping me to learn.

Finally, i feel hands. They tweeked my nipples, caressed my body. A mouth, lips, tongue, nibbling teeth. And then they were gone. But then, a sensation of cold, wet, scratchy-tickling–the marking pen inscribing my skin! It tickled, i giggled and wiggled! Another mouth, this time kissing me. Fingers on my clit and in my pussy…then a cock fucking me. Another tickling signature. Over and over, mouths and fingers, exploring, pinching, caressing, and then tickling signatures. After the signatures, i felt my legs positioned, opening my pussy toward what i knew was the gawking eyes of those in the hot tub–Maximus was displaying me. No more worrying, no thoughts or concerns about who or what, just reveling in the sensation–the breeze, the touches, the freedom of not having to choose or control. It wasn’t subspace, but freespace, i guess, something just below, being carried on a breeze, fully enjoying sensations, but still present.

i had thoroughly enjoyed myself and it was time to conclude our scene. All of a sudden i got hot and told Maximus i was ready to be done. He sat me up carefully, held me as He removed my earplugs but left my blindfold on. He stood me up and told me to stay holding onto one of the bed posters while He left to get a towel to wrap me in, but my knees were buckling, so i gently knelt onto the ground, still holding onto the poster. He wrapped me in the towel, gave me a sip of water, helped me up, and walked me blindfolded down the many stairs and back up to our room. It was there that He finally removed the blindfold and revealed my marked up body in the mirror:

Wow! There were a lot more signatures than i expected! And, because it tickled so much when people signed, i looked like i’d been attacked by a 6 year-old with markers! i couldn’t read the signatures, had no reference to know who was who.

After some time regaining my composure, Maximus took me back up to the hot tub, this time not blindfolded. He had me wander through the crowded hot tub to feel everyone’s eyes on me. Some people asked about it, about what the ink marks all were about. A lot of those reactions were good, interested, some had seen from a distance but not understood what was going on. Many were friends, and i wondered if they were owners of some of the signatures and were just acting like they had no idea so i wouldn’t know they had played with me. Some were uncomfortable about it, like i had been years ago, so i understood. Some thought it was non-consensual and that had concerned them until i explained the consent process and agreements Maximus and i had made prior. Many others said nothing, gave me odd looks, turned away. It was interesting to me, this range–all the feelings i had felt over the years were being displayed in this hot tub.

Maximus agreed to let me go back to the room and wash off the signatures. The colors ran down my body and swirled onto the floor of the shower. It had been a marvelous scene.

Categories: Desire, Orgy, patience, sensory deprivation play, Sex resort, submissive, Swingers resort, trust | Leave a comment

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