Monthly Archives: July 2015

Picking up where i left off!

Oh my, has it been a long time! We’ve not dissolved, life just got too busy to manage the blog on top of everything, so Maximus allowed me to suspend my journal writing. i realize that seems counterproductive, that my journal writing should have been higher priority and that it could have been helpful, but it was just too much and became a stressor rather than a release. D/s and swinging took a backseat as well, as i really needed the recovery time still from my hysterectomy and getting my body confidence back.

So here i am! i finished my master’s degree last week–woo hoo! The house remodeling is over, now it’s just the fun stuff, evolving the landscape, etc. i’m now back to running, quilting, and blogging. And, we’re getting back into D/s and swinging. i could make a million excuses for us, but it’s just not necessary and we will be better for the break.

A sad thing occurred with our break. Last winter, Mountain Man and Sunflower broke up, which was terribly sad for us. We struggled with how to respond, how to manage the friendship between both of them without hurting feelings. Sunflower starting having health issues and was not playing sexually, but Mountain Man was, and kept in contact with us about getting together for a play party. There was just too much going on with us and, frankly, we didn’t want to hurt Sunflower’s feelings, so we put it off. We were just ready to reconnect with Mountain Man this month, but he suddenly passed away from an unexpected cardiac event during a mountain climb. It just took our breath away. We will take Mountain Man as a wonderful lesson in never being to consumed with other things to stay connected. We miss him.

On an interesting note….and one i predicted, despite Maximus’ disbelief…Mountain Man and Ms. W had hooked up. Mountain Man had not shared this with us when talking about getting together, but i had a sneaking suspicion they were seeing each other. i don’t know, call it intuition, but i just had a gut feeling about it. While i didn’t share this with Maximus, it lead to my trepidation in getting together with Mountain Man. Ms. W texted Maximus at Christmas to see what He was up to, the first He’d heard from her in months. He replied that life was great, i’d retired and moved in, and we were remodeling the house. We’d discussed His response before sending it, as i suspected it was leading into a bootie call, that she really didn’t care how He was doing. Sure enough, she didn’t respond back. She didn’t divulge, either, that she had hooked up with anyone.

Maximus ended up going to Mountain Man’s memorial solo as i had a previously planned trip to the beach with my mother. i mentioned to Maximus that He’d probably run into Ms. W, but He didn’t think she’d be there. Well, she was. She told Maximus that Mountain Man was her boyfriend for months and months, and that it was an exclusive relationship, including at the time of his death. When Maximus told me about this later, He was confused by this, as Mountain Man never mentioned this in his messages to us and he’d continued to be active on several swinger sites as a single male. As Maximus shared this with me, i realized she was again lying. The memorial was hosted by Sunflower and Mountain Man’s children, and they were all just devastated–Ms. W was not involved in the service at all, nor did she appear affected. As i related to Maximus, a girlfriend would be involved in the service, not an ex–it’d be like Maximus’ ex-wife, JB, hosting His memorial and me just being a bystander–wouldn’t happen. Ms. W was doing it again, telling people she was someone’s girlfriend when she wasn’t–she was doing the same thing she did with Maximus, telling everyone she was His girlfriend behind Maximus’ back, the thing that caused us so much strife. Both of us felt vindicated, finally. i could see now that Maximus was not lying when He told me over and over Ms. W was not His girlfriend, despite the fact that she and her friends swore she was, and Maximus could now understand why i was so angry and didn’t believe Him. He can now see her behavior for Himself.

Dedicated to our friend, the Mountain Man, who will live in our hearts forever. Thank you for your kindness and laughter, and for your lessons of friendship. You died doing the thing you love most, climbing a mountain, the place you felt most at home. We carry you in our hearts.


Categories: D/s, death and dying | Leave a comment

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