Monthly Archives: February 2014

hysterical (adj.)

1610s, from Latin hystericus “of the womb,” from Greek hysterikos “of the womb, suffering in the womb,” from hystera “womb” (see uterus). Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus. Meaning “very funny” (by 1939) is from the notion of uncontrollable fits of laughter. Related: Hysterically. – courtesy of etymonline.com

Seriously, i really am still here! i’ve been just shocked at how my uterus has taken over my life and just how much it has exhausted me in the process. i’ve not been able to work, stay up past 7 PM, or blog, let alone have sex!

Since my last post, my abdomen did settle down with the liquid diet and hormones (birth control pills) and was able to get back onto solid food and back to work. i had a recheck with my OB-GYN who recommended that we just stay that course and leave everything alone other than continuing on the birth control pills, but i had done a lot of research on fibroid tumors and based upon my condition, how exhausted i continued to be, and family history of cancer, i requested a hysterectomy. i fully expected some push-back from my doctor, but he granted my request.

The next available surgical appointment wasn’t for two months! So i headed back to work even though i was just wiped out. i made it two and a half weeks before i was just too exhausted to work–it wasn’t safe. i was physically wiped out, had no energy, but most of all emotionally wiped out from the hormones. i was a wreck! Maximus started calling them Whore-Moans because i was just cranky and irritable. And while they made my tumors shrink from their nearly five month gestation size, i had awful smelly discharge and started getting terrible headaches. The upside? my boobs got HUGE! But really, not a great trade-off. i ended up stopping the hormones two weeks prior to surgery, with my doctor’s permission, which initially stopped the headaches for a few days, but then they came back with a vengeance!

So i finally had the surgery. i had a laparoscopic-assisted vaginal hysterectomy, which means they didn’t have to cut my abdomen open other than for four small slits (one in my belly button, two on either side of my belly button, and one in my pubic area) through which to put the laparoscopes. i stayed overnight in the hospital afterward and really my only pain has been my abdominal wall, not my vagina like i expected.

After the surgery, my doctor told my mom (Maximus was really, really sick with an upper respiratory cold with a cough that would have been torturous for me after abdominal surgery; He stayed at my house with a mask on rather than exposing me at the hospital) that it was a really good thing that i’d had the surgery after all, as things had really advanced. Turns out the two tumors grew together and got very large and had to be cut up into tiny pieces to remove, but that i also had endometriosis, a condition where the inside lining of the uterus grows outside of the uterus, and severe scar tissue inside the uterus and outside that had turned into adhesions throughout my abdominal cavity that they had to cut out. i felt vindicated after insisting i have the surgery rather than waiting it out–i KNEW things weren’t right!

My OB-GYN was really puzzled about the scar tissue. Scar tissue like this comes either previous uterine surgeries, which i’ve not had, or severe uterine infections, which he was not aware i had. i’m not aware of any uterine infections either. i’ve never had any STIs, that i’m aware of, and the only infections i’ve had are yeast infections. i did have a terrible yeast infection a few years ago with a previous phsyician who refused to treat it with more than the over-the-counter creams that literally burned my vaginal walls. This infection was awful and lasted a month while i argued with that doctor to finally prescribe Diflucan which cleared the infection up within a day! i am certain that was the cause of the scar tissue.

Preliminary results are that the tumors were benign–no cancer! i have a follow-up appointment next week and will get all the pathology reports.

How do i feel? GREAT! i was very sore and on heavy duty narcotics at first, but have been getting better day by day. i’m minimally sore now, off all pain meds, and have started going for walks. i’m still off work for a bit and then only go back to office work until the end of March. But there’s no bad smell, my belly is almost flat (no more fibroid baby bump), no more headaches, and i can stay up until midnight!! i have energy back!

And i’m horny–something that completely went away while i was sick. Maximus has been oh so patient during the longest streak of celibacy in His life! His hand is getting A LOT of action these days! i am required to have 8 weeks of pelvic rest which means no sex, nothing inside my vagina. i had to remove my clitoral hood piercing for the surgery and finally got it back in the other evening, which got me really aroused and led to clit masterbation and a couple of orgasms :o). i am glad that i am feeling sexual again and really glad there was no pain and just some spot bleeding from my masterbation adventure.

Maximus has been making a list of all the fantasies He’s had during this hiatus–i better get my strength up! In all seriousness though, He really has been remarkable during my illness. He recognized early on that i was just not well, something that troubled both of us, and was patient with me. He’s taken care of me during the times i’ve been very ill and after my surgery. And He’s surfed the tides of my mood swings and sometimes wrath. i am so fortunate to have such a caring, understanding, and steadfast partner. How did i ever get so lucky?

So, sorry i’ve been gone. i’ve just not felt well at all, was full of Whore-Moans and not nice, and just too exhausted to write. This is better for you, the reader, as i would have moaned you all away forever with my bitchiness!

It’s been hysterical!