Being Kinky

Maximus and i went to our first BDSM convention this weekend, Kinkfest, in Portland, Oregon. It was held in the Oregon Convention Center, so quite a large affair. Being our first event, we weren’t quite sure what to expect, but there were several threads on FetLife that offered helpful guidelines for newbies and we really appreciated that.

Armed with our two backpacks that held a change of clothes and shoes for me, toiletries, makeup, collar and cuffs, Liberator blanket, lube, condoms, wet wipes, etc, we headed into town for the extravaganza. We had a little bit of time before the first class we wanted to attend so we wandered through the vendor area. There were amazing things to see at the vendor area. Maximus found a very, very, very stingy flogger that was a piece of diamond-plate designed rubber doubled over like a folded belt. He struck it against the palm of His hand and cried out, shaking His hand–His palm became instantly red and raised. He tried it against the palm of my hand, with a slighter hit and i had the same response. He had me turn to use it on my bottom and i asked Him to do it gently as this flogger was so aggressive–wow! The vendor said it was a very popular item. We considered it and then decided against it only for the reason that in the wrong hands it could inflict some very serious damage and hurt someone (probably me) very badly. i tried on a leather corset, that i loved, but Maximus didn’t fall in love with. i have been losing size due to my aggressive endurance training schedule, needed a smaller size than we expected, and Maximus was afraid to buy something that wasn’t going to fit me in a couple of weeks. And, He did not feel the corset supported my breasts in a pleasingly-enough manner.

We then went to Bind without Twine: Bondage ad Libitum by Shay and Stefanos.

They started their presentation with an edge play scene, where Stefanos held Shay at knifepoint, cut her clothes and stockings and used the remnants to bind her to a massage table on the presentation stage. It was really interesting to watch, and a little scary as i’m not accustomed to knife play. They had such a great connection together and really had fun with each other during the presentation. She is a brat and the interplay is fun to watch. She also meows as Stefanos plays with her and her meows change to indicate how she is feeling about what is happening so He has a guide. She also checks in with Him with an occasional, “Hi!”

The bulk of their presentation was on how to use found objects, other than rope, for restraints. They taught how to use neckties, pantyhose, scarves, pillowcases, and T-shirts to bind someone. They brought ties and pantyhose for everyone to practice the ties–it was a blast! Maximus was psyched to learn these techniques, especially after our playtime the night before. We had hoped to take some pictures of the things we learned to include in this blog, but we ran out of time. i will do another post just on the things we learned from Stefanos and Shay.

This was the last workshop session before the opening ceremonies and dungeon party that night, so we left to have dinner. As we were walking out to the parking garage, Maximus received an email from His attorney that was a forwarded letter from JB’s attorney demanding another $45K for undefined” tax losses.” He was stunned! He literally stopped in His tracks in front of the exit door and i had to drag Him aside so people could exit the elevator lobby. i offered to head home instead of going out to dinner and back to the dungeon party, but Maximus wanted to continue our evening. He was rocked and clouded though, i could tell.

He started to recover during drinks and dinner. We talked about the letter and about an email reply He’d received from JB that morning that had ended so uncharacteristically nice with a “Hope you are doing well” conclusion. At the time, He had thought they had turned a corner and she was becoming nice and i was concerned it was sarcastic–unfortunately i was right, as she knew this letter was coming from her attorney later today.

Right before dinner arrived, Maximus got a text and as He went to read it, we saw it was from Ms. W and as we were seated side-by-side at the bar, He immediately turned the phone away so i could not see it. “You’re being opaque,” i reminded Him, “turning the phone away from me when You get a text from Ms. W.” He apologized and shared the text which said she and Covert Ops were going to be signing their final divorce paperwork early next week and would be finished. This helped paint the complete picture of what was happening with JB, why she needed more money.

Maximus and i needed to talk about why He again behaved in the manner He did when He received the text. He said that He instinctively did it to protect Himself from me becoming upset from Him hearing from her as i had before. i reminded Him that was over four months ago and His being opaque and turning away from me when He got texts from her did nothing to help me feel comfortable. He agreed and asked me to be patient about it–i reminded Him that i have been and that i needed Him to work on not being afraid as i have worked on my issue. He agreed.

During dinner, Maximus shared conversations He’d had with The Englishman this past week while he was staying at His house. Maximus shared with The Englishman that i had broken up with Him briefly and what had precipitated it. The Englishman responded, “she doesn’t trust men.” Maximus agreed with that statement, saying that my past relationships had made me wary.

This conversation led to Maximus sharing His feelings about us, about the significance of the ring, and how He could get me to believe in GOT and not doubt the permanence of His feelings. i shared with Him that because i am not fully disclosed in His life, as in His family and closest friends not knowing about me, it makes it very difficult for me to fully embrace it as i have shared Him fully in my life. He said He understood that and then cryptically added, “I have something planned soon. It’s a surprise.” i didn’t pry as obviously He didn’t want me to with how He mentioned it. i do hope, however, that He does fill me in somewhat before this surprise happens. i suspect that it may have something to do with plans for His birthday, perhaps meeting His kids, and i’d like to have some notice so i am not caught completely off-guard.

Dinner was wonderful. The discussions were great and we were like two kids in love walking back to the car, talking about our future and His desire to spoil me rotten. i’m getting better about this and have shared with Him that i am ready to accept that now.

We returned to the Convention Center and saw that the opening ceremonies were still going on in the Dungeon. Maximus went into the dungeon and i went into the restroom and changed into my evening dress. He had placed my collar on me before i left to change. When i returned, i had attached the leash to my collar and was walking myself back to Him holding the leather handle.

On stage was a burlesque-style show with women doing acrobatics in hoops suspended from the ceiling. Then, suddenly, lights illuminated the center of the dungeon, highlighting a huge mobile display hanging from the ceiling with people in different types of suspension! The apparatus spun, showing a woman and a transvestite dancing inside a suspended cage; a man completely wrapped in plastic wrap up to his neck, blindfolded, and encapsulated inside of hanging Iron Maiden; two women suspended horizontally, spanking each other; and a man suspended solo. It was amazing! Eventually they lowered the mobile and the dungeon party began!

The dungeon was humongous! There was every type of apparatus you could imagine, or not imagine! Stockades, barrels, pommel horses, X crosses, benches, A Frames, Monkey bars, kneeling benches, Iron Maidens, etc. There were metal stage riggings with eyes for suspension. There was a whole line of medical exam tables with overhead lighting for medical play. Barber chairs, a wrestling take-down area, a whip corridor, a stable for pony play. It was dark and loud dungeon-appropriate music blared (a lot of Depeche Mode, my favorite!!). i was very glad Maximus had a hold of my leash as we walked around the dungeon as it kept us together in this large, crowded space.

We watched several scenes, most of which had to do with flogging, spanking, and beating. There was a lot of man-on-man beating, one of which was very brutal and the recipient was very black and blue bruised. Every type of kink seemed to be represented here. It was a sensory overload! We even saw the most beautiful Palomino pony i’ve ever seen, an approximately 5-foot tall, 90-pound woman dressed head-to-tail in a pony suit, hoof shoes, full bridle, being led around the dungeon by her master and later staged in the stables.

About an hour or so into the party, i saw friends i knew! Years ago i met a triad at M&S’s party–it was the first triad i’d ever encountered and really didn’t understand polyamory at that time (it did lead me to investigate it after i met them). i first saw the female, PantherKat and then realized that the two cross-dressed men with her were her husband and boyfriend (D and DL)–i never knew they were in this kink! She had a wig on and was shocked that i recognized her and them, but was absolutely thrilled to see me. i had connected with her boyfriend years ago and Maximus and i saw them a year ago at a swing club in Seattle. We talked and talked and shared about our kink. It was great to have friends there.

Later on, we saw the triad again, as PantherKat was being tied for suspension at one of the rigging frames. We talked with D and DL about how they knew the suspension artist and whether he would be interested in talking about suspending me, as i’ve always wanted to do that. When PantherKat was done, we approached him and he agreed to chat later. As it turned out, he decided to go ahead and suspend me then, which surprised me as i figured he’d need a break. Maximus asked if he would incorporate breast bondage in the suspension if he could as He wanted to see how someone else would bind my breasts.

i was suspended horizontally and it was spectacular! i thoroughly enjoyed the process, found it very relaxing. When first lifted off the ground, there was a lot of pressure from the ropes at my hips, but i breathed through it and it was released once my feet were elevated. The suspension artist swung me back and forth, then around, and i loved it–eyes open and closed, in a state of Zen. He started brushing his fingers over my nipples and they were extremely sensitive, causing me to orgasm with the gentlest touch. He motioned Maximus over and they took turns increasing the pressure on my nipples and then Maximus fingered my clit and pussy. i was in heaven! Maximus held me from behind to support me as i was untied. i was surprised to need aftercare from the suspension and play. It was the highlight of my night! Unfortunately there is no photography allowed, other than dungeon-certified photographers, which we could not track down when i was suspended, so we don’t have any pictures.

We watched more, including Shay who had been suspended by Stefanos in a web that she could articulate as if she were a marionette. We developed our game plan for the dungeon party the next night, that we would pack a small rolling suitcase with our toys for a scene that Maximus would develop.

What was really interesting was that there was very little sex happening. Most of the scenes were about control and bondage, impact play, not sexual intercourse. And, there were very little multiple player scenes. What we realized was that the dungeon was a place where couples could play out scenes with equipment they did not or could not possess at home, large apparatus, suspension frames, exam tables, etc. This was definitely not a swinger environment. It was amazing, though, and we were looking forward to Maximus’ scene(s) the next day.

We returned home completely satisfied and electrified!